Page 36 of A Quiet Man

That was what decided him. "We'll be there," Tomas said, and gave Justin a hard handshake of his own so he would remember Tomas wasn't actually weak just because he was quiet. He hoped his eye contact conveyed the rest of the message:I have no problem causing a scene and walking out if you're an asshole to Auden. He hoped, but it probably didn't. Things bounced off Justin. And whether he got the message or not, Justin would, as always, do exactly as he chose.

Justin, having gotten his own way, was all smiles, and he made his exit with a jaunty step. Tomas shut the door behind him, inwardly seething.That piece of shit.

"Do you want to have the pizza instead?" Auden asked, giving him a cautiously curious look.

Tomas shook his head, his mouth tight. He rubbed his forehead, hoping he wasn't going to snap at Auden. He wasn't annoyed with Auden, but he felt off-balance and tricked, and like he wanted to punch Justin in the mouth, mostly not for anything he'd done today, or even recently, but for everything. Everything all added up to equal pain and untrustworthiness. He knew he shouldn't care about little digs and rude remarks and Justin's jostling hostility and competitiveness over Riley, or his bold, brash personality, but he did. He really did. Sometimes he hated Justin.

"You okay?" Auden touched his arm. "What's wrong?"

Tomas sighed and rolled his eyes at himself, and then answered. And because this was Auden and he didn't know how to not be open with Auden, it all came pouring out: Justin's digs and hostility and passive-aggressive remarks, and the way he pretended to be friendly for Riley's sake and was always sorry afterwards if he was hateful. It was definitely a pattern.

Hearing his own voice as he recounted the slights and offenses, Tomas realized how bitter about it he actually was. He'd thought he'd accepted it —that was just the way Justin was— and even managed to forgive Justin most of the time, for Riley's sake. But hearing his own voice as he shared all the "little, meaningless" unkindnesses made him realize that no, he was pissed off and really hurt. Being sent away that last time had been the icing on the cake, but not nearly the whole cake. Another apology didn't fix it. And now Justin wanted to be friends? No, he just wanted to get his digs in about Auden, as well.

By the time Tomas had finished his litany, Auden had his arms wrapped around Tomas. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve that. And you're so good with Riley. You'd think his husband would appreciate you at least for that."

"He doesn't. He's always had a jealous streak about Riley and me, even though I've never wanted to step into his shoes." He and Riley had the sort of relationship where they could be alone in a crowd; they were tuned in to each other and could rely on each other in a way that Tomas had never shared with anyone else in his life. But that didn't make it sexual. Riley was the best friend he'd ever had. And after a certain amount of time for Justin to get used to the idea of them, his continuing attitude about it was just mean.

"Maybe he's relieved you're dating me, so he can finally believe that. But if you don't want to go, let's not go. You can tell Riley later that we can't make it. He'll understand."

Tomas sighed, aware that he was probably on some level pouting. "No. I shouldn't punish Riley and the kids because of Justin. I miss them, too. And it's another way of being open about us dating. Not quite telling-the-parents level, but getting there." He smiled at Auden, affection filling him. "And I do want to be open. It's just a process."

Auden snuggled up against him, his smile soft and warm. "You know I don't need that, right? Like, a public declaration or anything. Just having you is enough."

Tomas looked into his soft, warm eyes and wondered if he was going to drown in them.Maybe tonight's the night we should try having sex.I don't think I could love him any more than I do, and if it helps...He didn't even want to think the rest of it, but some part of him believed that if they couldn't get a handle on the sexual part of the relationship soon, Auden would get fed up with him and leave.

He cleared his throat, and then wimped out. "I think we should get you a new coat. Before the barbeque."

"Really?" Auden looked surprised but flattered. "I was just thinking about — wait, am I really that predictable?" He laughed at himself, covering his mouth with one hand.

"Uh...no?" Tomas said, smiling as well. "Listen, if you'll feel more confident in a new coat, then let's absolutely get you one. We need all the confidence we can get. But if you're going to roughhouse with any wolves, definitely wear the old one."

Auden looked alarmed at the suggestion. "That's not necessary, is it?"

"No, absolutely not. And Riley won't allow it unless you specifically want to. Even then, he'd rather they get out their energy through running rather than play-fighting." He wrapped his arms around Auden again, inwardly sighing at his own hang-ups, and kissed the top of his head.

Auden relaxed into his arms with a gentle sigh. It felt so good to hold him. Maybe, when they finally got there, sex would be just as nice. But either way, once they went there, they'd know. And there'd be no hiding from it if it was a deal breaker for Auden. Of all the ways Tomas could fail, and not be good enough, and not measure up to the assholes of the world like Justin, he really didn't want that to be the way he lost Auden.

"It's settled," Auden said, sounding content. "We'll go coat shopping before the weekend." And because he read Tomas pretty well by now too, he added, "And I'll pay you back when I can."

Tomas rubbed his back gently and wondered when they'd get to the point where he could look after Auden without being faced with promises to repay him later.

#

"Tomas! Fancy seeingyou here." Cody's smile was one of delight as he approached the table where Tomas was sitting, eating and reading. "I thought you ate at that diner where you-know-who works."

Tomas lowered his phone. "I do, when he's working. Why would I subject myself to that food if he's not there during my lunch hour?"

Cody winced in sympathy. "That bad, huh?"

Tomas was eating at a twee little teahouse that served crustless sandwiches. The décor felt a little cheesy this time of year, although he suspected it was more fun in the summer. He'd been meaning to try the place and see if the food was worth it. It was close enough to walk from the precinct. Anywhere he could walk for lunch was worth trying at least once.

Cody started to pull out the chair next to Tomas, its feet scraping the floor loudly, then froze. "Wait, is it okay? Maybe you wanted to be alone."

Tomas waved casually to the seat. "It's fine. You don't count as company."

Cody looked pleased with what he rightly took as a compliment.

Tomas discreetly set aside his phone and refocused on his guest. "So, how's everything at the day job?" He hadn't gotten to talk to Cody much lately, their trajectories at the precinct being quite different. And most of his free time was now spent with Auden.