Page 81 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury (House of Embers #1)

I sat down on the bed and avoided her piercing stare.

I could tell her about me and Kieran, but I wasn’t sure if she’d keep her mouth shut.

Normally, I’d never worry about such a thing, but Wes had way too much influence on her.

Gods, just the thought of him brought a scowl to my face.

“Lay next to me.” I waited until we were situated before speaking again.

“You should go flying again with me tomorrow.”

Clara’s expression crumpled. “Wes—”

“Isn’t your keeper. Flying makes you happy. You were so excited to go. Don’t let him ruin this for you.”

Clara stiffened. “He’s just worried.”

I sat up. “Clara, he’s trying to control you.”

An emotion passed across Clara’s eyes, but it vanished too quickly for me to name it. “You don’t know him, Selena. He’s not what you think. He’s kind.”

I wanted to shake her until she saw the truth. “He’s been your jailor for months, and the only person you could confide in. Of course he gained your trust.”

Clara’s jaw flexed, and she sat up as well. “Kieran Caddel sentenced you to death, but now you trust him. Wes and I might not have met under ideal circumstances, but he cares for me. And I care for him. It’s not like that. Why can’t you trust me? ”

The steel backing her words surprised me. As much as I wanted to dismiss her words, her last sentence had forced me not to. “I just worry. Especially after seeing how much he affects you.” Clara was still young, still moldable.

Clara exhaled, but the angry tension in her jaw faded. “I’m not a stupid child. I know when people are taking advantage of me. Just like you do.”

“I have four years on you, Clara. And I’ve been out in the world. You haven’t.”

Another emotion flashed in Clara’s eyes, but she closed them before I could read the emotion.

She expelled a breath. “Maybe before you got caught that was true. It’s not anymore.

I grew up, Selena. I had to.” Getting stabbed would’ve hurt less.

Clara reached forward and took my hand in hers.

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I just—I want you to see me.

It was hard at first, but I found my footing over there. I actually grew to like it over there.”

“Don’t try to make me feel better.” I cupped her face with my other hand. “Look at you calling me out on my bullshit. I’m so proud.”

Clara huffed a laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re right.” I lowered my hand. “You had to face everything on your own. You had to be your own strength with no dragon to rely on. You’re tough as shit, and I shouldn’t dismiss that.”

We rested against the headrest. Tomorrow, I’d make sure Clara rode on Umara again. Wes be damned. But that was a fight for tomorrow. Clara had been pushed enough today. “I wish we had more time together, but I have to go on this mission. I don’t want you to think you’re not my priority. You are.”

“I’m glad you’re going.” The venom in her tone had me raising my brows.

“What. Happened?”

Clara winced. “Dragonsguard Aurelia was sent to Wes’s castle on a mission. She swore she wouldn’t tell anyone about what happened. I guess she kept her word.”

That. Bitch. Aurelia probably made it sound like she was doing something noble. And my sister didn’t want me to worry or do something reckless, so she soaked it up like a sponge. “Clara, tell me what happened before I lose my shit.”

Clara grabbed my hand. “Don’t overreact. I’m okay. Please, Selena.”

I exhaled. If Kieran knew… he better not have known. “I won’t. Just tell me what happened.”

“When we were out in town, I came face to face with a gryphon. But it didn’t attack me. Or at least, not right away. I got lucky. Wes killed it before it could move.”

My pulse skyrocketed. I searched Clara for any hint of an injury, even though I knew there wouldn’t be one.

I had to resist the urge to lock her into my room and never let her out again.

“He really killed it?” When Clara nodded, I couldn’t help but feel impressed.

“Maybe he’s not a total waste of space.”

“Selena,” Clara complained.

I smiled. “What? I’m agreeing with you.” When her look continued, I added, “I’ll learn to get along with him as long as he doesn’t put you down. Don’t ever let anyone dim your light, okay? Do what you love. Fly again with me tomorrow.” Okay, maybe I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

Clara fell silent. “Okay. I’ll talk to Wes. I know you’ll keep me safe. That was never a doubt.” She smiled. “Be careful, okay? I really missed you.”

“I will. You won’t be alone this time. Nimue will look after you while I’m gone. And let me give you back—”

“No!” Clara said. My hand froze on the pendant that I was about to take off. “Keep it. It’s your reminder to come back to me.”

“I always will.”

Clara smiled, her eyes watering slightly.

Wes didn’t waste time confronting me. The moment I walked out of my room, he jumped up from his seat and strode toward me. I met his glare head on. This talk was a long time coming for the both of us.

I led him toward the rooftop where we could talk in private. The moment the door shut, and we were alone, I swirled on him and folded my arms. “I know what I’m doing.”

He scowled. “But do you? You weren’t there. You didn’t see her fall apart the day after.”

My stomach tightened. “Shut. Up. I made a mistake, and I’ll spend my life atoning for that, but she’s doing better than she was before.

You can’t deny that.” If I looked at it objectively, her suffering was worth it.

She was happier now and had the medicine she desperately needed to survive.

She’d live longer because of the short term pain.

But my heart didn’t feel the same. I dreamt of her face at the execution over and over again.

“You take too many risks—”

“Shut the fuck up!” Energy thrummed under my skin. I glared, clenching my hands into fists.

Wes scowled, falling silent for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. “I care for Clara. If you fuck up, she won’t die. She wouldn’t do that, but she’d be devastated. And all alone. An orphan by all accounts. I don’t want her to lose you.”

I let out a shaky breath. “And I’m going to try my damnest to make sure she doesn’t. But I can’t go up against Luther and reject this mission. And I hate to say it, but I shouldn’t reject it. I heard about what happened—the gryphon. How could you let her be out in the open like that?”

He barked a laugh. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. And you , of all people, to lecture me on her safety.”

I clenched my jaw. We could go round in circles all night. “I have to do this mission. For her long term safety, it’s what’s best. If you care for her, you need to protect her with your life while I’m away. Do you got that?”

Wes raised his chin. “My life is hers. Not just for the mission, but for the rest of my days. Don’t die. It’d break her heart. ”

There wasn’t much to say after that. I hated him being in her life, but Clara needed him.

And even worse yet, he made her happy. With that conversation settled, I went to Kieran’s room.

I couldn’t go back to mine. If I saw Clara, the dam I held back might break.

So many things were out of my control, but this… being with him was like coming home.

I opened the door to see Kieran lying in bed and reading a book. His eyes softened when he looked at me. I wasted no time stalking over and straddling him. “Did you know that a gryphon attacked my sister?”

“No.” The weight of his gaze—I knew he wasn’t lying. A wave of relief crashed over me. “Good. Because when it comes to her safety, I need to know.”

“I understand.” He stroked my back. “I’ll always tell you.”

I sighed. Thank fuck. I hadn’t wanted to think about the alternative… “I hate your brother sometimes.”

Kieran laughed. “You’re not alone in that. He has his head up his ass.”

“He thinks he knows my sister better than I do. He thinks he can protect her better.” I scowled. “And I think he might be right. About the latter. Definitely not the former.”

“You’re giving your life to the kingdom so she can live. That’s protecting her. If it’s a contest, you win.”

“But that’s the big picture. Wes is with her daily. He’s the one she turns to.” And that’s what drove me insane. Maybe… maybe he was starting to know her better. Not right now, but maybe in the future. And that was fucking terrifying. I’d given Clara my whole life and now she was just replacing me.

Kieran scratched circles under my shirt, and I relaxed into his touch. Gods, I was really falling for this man. When I felt like my walls were crumbling and my world was falling apart, it was him I went to. I didn’t bottle it up like I normally did.

When did he become so special to me?

“She’ll be moving back with you soon.” Kieran paused. “But, she will grow up, Selena. Everyone does. And that’s okay.”

“I don’t want her to.” I exhaled. “But I also don’t want her to be alone. I guess it’s good she has Wes with her, even if he is an ass.” The last part pained me to admit.

“It’s genetic.” Kieran grinned, and his hands lowered to grip my waist, sending a spark of heat to my core. “We’ll get through this. We’ll get the eggs and stop the war.”

I wanted that so badly it hurt. I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. It was soft and sweet and so different from our frantic couplings. And, really, all of my past connections. I never had this vulnerability with anyone else. “Thank you for calming me down.”

Kieran smiled. “Always. You can count on me.”

And by the gods, I believed him.