Page 46 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury (House of Embers #1)

“We can use this.” Luther’s hungry gaze pinned me in place. His stare hadn’t left me since Aurelia blurted it out during the debrief.

“They almost killed me.” I folded my arms.

He waved me off. “But they didn’t. You wouldn’t be sent out alone, and your ability will prevent future villages from getting slaughtered. For centuries, we’ve had no way to truly combat the gryphons. Your ability could lead to their eradication.”

And it’s not actually a choice. Lovely. “All those plans are useless if I die on the job.” It was hard not to think about the potential bleaker consequences of my so-called Gift.

If gryphons would always single me out, I’d never be able to take Clara and leave.

Not only that, but I barely managed to survive the mission, and I had the rest of the dragonsguard backing me up.

“There will be safety measures, of course.” Luther grinned. “But this will help. And if we’re able to utilize this, Andova will be even more incentivized to back off. Gryphons threaten the entire continent, not just our country.”

I fought a frown. “What about my sister? You said after the mission—”

“I’ll grant your reward. You’ll see her in three weeks, once her and her guard have traveled to a neutral meeting location.”

We went to The Dragon’s Hearth afterward to celebrate not dying. I wasn’t in the mood to be around others, but at least I had the meeting with my sister to look forward to. Except it’s three fucking weeks from now.

I nursed my drink as I watched Kieran. None of us felt like sitting so we’d taken to standing in the corner of the bar.

Gareth had clinked his drink against Kieran’s, murmuring something so quiet I couldn’t hear.

I watched in surprise when Kieran laughed.

That asshole shouldn’t be able to look so charming.

Why did he cover for me earlier? And what did this ‘Gift’ mean for my future?

“We did it!” Ben cheered and threw his arm around me. “Not bad for your first mission, huh?” The sudden movement nearly caused me to spill my ale, so I glared up at him. Ben only laughed it off. “Come on, Selena, celebrate with us. Even that stick in the mud Kieran is celebrating.”

“I’m surprised you’re not trying to hook up with someone yet.” We’d already been here an hour, and he’d yet to go searching for someone.

Ben’s grin turned wicked. “Why, are you volunteering? ”

“Keep it in your pants!” Gareth smiled at us, but it was oddly strained. Kieran glowered by his side.

“Jealous?” Ben grinned. “I can entertain you if you want, Gareth—” He let out a yelp as a shadow swept across his ankle and tripped him. “Not cool.” His words were muffled as he lay face down.

I laughed and helped him up. “For someone who’s constantly flirting, I hardly see you with anyone. Maybe you’re all talk. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out you’re a virgin.”

“Don’t insult me.” Ben snatched my drink and gulped it down, flashing me a grin. “There’s been too much going on to really have fun.”

“Ever plan on settling down?”

Ben poured himself another drink. “The Child no. I don’t have interests like that. I’m aroace.”

My brows rose. ‘Aroace’ wasn’t something I heard too often, but it was typically slang for someone not interested in sex and romance. “But you fuck people all the time.”

Ben grinned wolfishly. “I like sex, and I like looking at hot people. Doesn’t make me any less aroace.”

I flushed. “Sorry.” Of course he’d know his orientation better than I did.

Ben bumped his shoulder against mine. “Don’t be. The term only came around recently. Before I had to say I was jonasio.”

That term was more familiar. It was slang, based off two past royals in different points of Lusadian history.

Queen Jonae and King Nicasio. Queen Jonae had made it known she never wanted a lover and only married to produce an heir, not because she wanted a lover.

King Nicasio was known for his hatred of being touched.

Because of that, he and his wife found a new way to produce without touching each other—a vial of his seed.

By all accounts, despite their difficulty producing an heir, the two loved each other. Clara had always found the story sweet.

“Probably best that term dies down.” I filled my mug and took a sip. The term had a lot of negative connotations to it, but at least it’d given people like Ben a word to express their feelings.

Ben shrugged. “Maybe.”

I waited until Kieran took a few more sips of his ale before stalking over to him where he stood beside Gareth. “Gareth, can I—”

“I’ll go.” Gareth flashed a grin, not even giving me time to finish my sentence before taking off toward Nimue.

As much as I would’ve loved to ignore Kieran —liar, a voice whispered in the back of my mind—my feelings weren’t the only thing at stake. “Why did you lie about my Gift?” I hissed.

Kieran glanced over my shoulder. “Your mark hasn’t manifested.”

“Obviously.”

“Gryphons shouldn’t attack riders. You’re the only exception. Do you know what that means?”

Ice shot down my spine. “Something bad.”

His weighted gaze pinned me in place. “You’re unpredictable. Luther already doesn’t like that. We’re not going to hand him a weapon to use against you. Let him think he has you confined. Only then can you break out.” His lips curved into a smile.

Silence stretched between us at his words. While I appreciated Kieran covering for me, his actions left me confused. This connection I felt toward him, this pull, I couldn’t resist it no matter how hard I tried. Did Kieran feel it too? Was I merely a tool to him or something more?

I heaved a sigh. “Why are we here?”

He arched a brow. “What do you mean?”

I waved at the crowd. “Not that I’m unhappy we chose here.

” Getting to see Brynn again and letting her know I was alive was a gift in itself.

“But I just don’t get why—how can you all be out and celebrating right now?

” I looked at Ben dancing with a man a few years older than him.

Then at Nimue shoving her tongue down Brynn’s throat.

Even Aurelia nursed her ale while talking quietly to Gareth.

Kieran followed my gaze, and his expression softened. “Because if we went home and drank, it’d get depressing real fast.”

The weight of his words left a heavy feeling in my gut.

Everything happened too fast for me to process.

From the mission, to Luther, and then here.

Maybe that was the point. Because I knew as soon as I lay in bed, I’d think of the screams, and the deaths, and the lives I couldn’t save.

And Clara, who was waiting impatiently for me to be her big sister again.

I raised my glass. “To not dying. ”

Something flickered in his eyes, but after a beat, Kieran clanked his glass against mine. “To not dying,” he murmured. His eyes never left mine as we both took a small sip.

Despite myself, my lips quirked. I wondered if he felt the lightning crackling between us like I did.

He must have. Was it my imagination or did his gaze linger on my lips?

I ran my hand along my mug. I could go bother Nimue and Brynn or even Ben.

I didn’t have to entertain this and yet…

“It was awesome seeing you order those nobles around.”

Amusement danced in his eyes. “That’ll be you soon if you play your cards right.”

“Finally. An actual bonus,” I said dryly.

His lips twitched. “Not right away, of course, but considering how smoothly today went… it won’t be long. You did good.”

Warmth blossomed in my chest. “You weren’t so bad yourself.”

He arched a brow. “Should I get Gareth? You might have a concussion.”

“Shut up.” I smacked his shoulder. “I meant it, you know. Even if everything you do is planned, you didn’t have to help the people you chose. The highborn assholes didn’t want you to pick them. If you weren’t there, they would’ve been left behind to die.”

“Only if Aurelia was left in charge.”

I hummed. “Maybe so.” But the point was, Kieran helped them.

There was no benefit to helping those people.

Yes, he kept saying he wanted to help the common people, and he had, but it was different actively seeing it.

Maybe he isn’t total bullshit. Even if we weren’t friends, I could get behind him if he continued like this.

Kieran tilted his head to the side. I wondered what he saw. “What’s your point?”

My breath caught in my throat. By the Mother, he had no right to look so hot there. Especially since he truly didn’t see how helping those people changed my opinion. I wanted to lean forward and kiss the tattoo that claimed his neck.

Get it together, Selena. I flushed. I couldn’t help it. Not when he commanded everyone so effortlessly. It was insanely hot seeing everyone bow down to him. But what really tipped it off was seeing him put the highborn in their place.

“My point is, you’re not that bad, Kieran.”

“The highest of compliments, truly.” But despite his dismissive tone, I caught a glimmer in his eyes.

It looked almost… happy. It vanished and was replaced with an almost bored look.

“We like to pretend the nobles have all the power, and in a lot of ways, they do. But… deep down we know the commoners outnumber us. Saving everyone helps my goals.”

I knew what he was trying to do. Trying to act like that move was entirely strategic.

Maybe, in part, it was. But not completely.

It was more than that. Kieran was more than that.

Daeza was proof. “They’ll remember what you did for them.

” I grinned. “Next time, I’m going to see how many nobles I can piss off in the next rescue mission.

” I raised my glass. “ To befriending commoners and being a manipulative asshole.”

My eyes widened when Kieran actually raised his still full glass and clinked it against mine.

“And never anything less,” he murmured.

I laughed and took a sip. Gods, this was getting out of hand. Tomorrow, no doubt, he’d go back to keeping his distance and I’d try to ignore the sting. Why am I subjecting myself to this? Why can’t I stay away? I wanted to say it was all for Clara, but it wasn’t.

“Remember to stay focused. You can’t be hostile right away. You need them to trust you.” His lips quirked into a smile. “Gain a reputation and then boss them around. I’ll back you up.”

I smiled and took another sip, letting the warmth flood my veins. “You’re different from how I thought you’d be. Even with everyone else, I see how they act around the servants. They’re polite—even Aurelia, but…”

“But they hardly see them.” He shot me a knowing look.

“But you do.”

Surprisingly, Kieran answered my unspoken question. “You already know I’m a bastard.”

I winced. “If I’d known—”

“It’s fine.” He waved me off. “You know how bastards are treated. It was much the same for me. I never felt truly a part of the Caddel family. Everything you see now—it’s a mask I’ve spent over a decade crafting. Only once I became a dragonsguard could I claim my last name.”

I hated seeing that deprecating smirk. “If I ever see your father, I’ll kick him in the balls.” I never saw the point in punishing a child because their father couldn’t keep it in their pants.

A ghost of smile graced his lips. “He’d deserve it. That coward. The others don’t get it. They care, but they don’t understand.”

But I do. We both do. A dangerous feeling lingered in my heart.

I couldn’t afford to lose sight of my mission, but despite my reservations, the ice around my heart began to thaw.

I wanted to learn more about him, wanted to ask about his past. Stay focused.

“Yeah.” I twirled the glass in my hand. “So, hypothetically, how long do I have to wait before I can order nobles around?”

Kieran threw his head back and laughed. The sight of it startled me. He looked… free and relaxed. Beautiful. I wanted to freeze that expression, to leave a trail of kisses along his nape. To run my fingers along his exposed collarbones. Dammit.

“The more missions you succeed in, the more leverage you’ll have. Play nice to the common folk, and they’ll back you up.” He grabbed his drink once again and raised it. “Someday, you’ll have the nobles bowing at your feet, and I can’t wait to witness it.”