Page 54 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury (House of Embers #1)

I frowned. The words sounded rehearsed. They probably were.

“Sometimes I think it’s better that Clara’s staying away, and it kills me, because I know she’s finding herself over there.

Her letters are so happy, and I wanted her to be happy, but it feels like—now that she’s settled—that I was the weight holding her down.

I hate the part of me that’s resentful towards her joy.

” Kieran didn’t grab my hand, but the feel of his legs and shoulders pressing against mine was more than enough.

It fought the chill away and left me hungry for more.

“I’m not trying to take away what you’re saying or to make it about me.

I’m just saying that I understand what you’re going through.

Maybe more than the rest of the ’guard. I understand that feeling of wanting to tie someone down to you, no matter how selfish the wish is.

Even now, I can’t let go of that connection. ”

Kieran looked out at the brilliant blue sky and clouds that lazily passed us. “You drove me crazy when you first arrived, Selena. But I’m so fucking glad you’re here.”

He looked down, and our eyes locked. My heart stuttered. I was heavily aware of every cell in my body. Kieran’s gaze flicked to my lips, and I knew what would happen. Both of us wanted it. I’d been denying it for so long. I wanted Kieran Caddel.

It’d be so easy to close the distance between us and brush my lips against his. But doing that might just unravel everything we worked for. I turned my head away. “I’m glad I’m here too.” And while I couldn’t kiss him, I laced our hands together.

It feels like home.

After that night, things changed between us. I trusted him, even if the year wasn’t up and Kieran hadn’t proved he’d uphold his end of the bargain. Maybe that was na?ve, and usually I wasn’t ever one to trust so lightly, but I did. It was like my soul knew Kieran wouldn’t betray me .

I couldn’t stop thinking about that almost kiss and how badly I had wanted to kiss him.

But I couldn’t. Not when—if things fell apart—it had the potential to ruin everything.

It was a relief that we were so busy. Between training, gryphon patrols, prepping for the festival, and my new lessons there was next to no free time.

Of course, Kieran ruined that by asking if I wanted to run supplies to Daeza with him.

I should’ve said no. I sucked at impulse control, but I could never resist a trip away from the castle.

So I jumped on the offer and ignored Aurelia’s furious gaze when she realized I’d miss more of her snob lessons.

There was no better feeling than flying in the air, especially away from the capital. I couldn’t wait until I had more freedom to fly whenever I wanted. Maybe one day Clara could ride with me on Umara, and we’d see the father trees together. Umara purred at the thought.

I cocked a brow when Hesperos flew so that we were right beside each other. “Umara, are you going to let that slide?”

Umara chuffed, and her pace increased, inching in front of Hesperos.

Kieran arched a brow. Hesperos’s wings beat harder, surpassing Umara.

I laughed as our dragons raced. It wasn’t as fast as they could normally fly since they both had packages strapped to their backs, but I didn’t care. My heart felt light. Someday, I’d fly for fun, and not for Luther’s bullshit or for Lusadia’s benefit .

Hesperos was only slightly smaller, so he had a slight edge on Umara when it came to speed.

But Umara fought dirty. She nipped at his feet and at his sides.

One time she even rammed into him, hard enough to send Hesperos into a spiral.

I snickered and hoped it made Kieran dizzy.

Unfortunately, the jerk wasn’t the least bit fazed.

We kept an eye out for any gryphons. It wasn’t an uncommon sight to see one anymore, especially with me out there. Thankfully, none arrived, so my mood stayed light. I was still smiling by the time we landed in Daeza—Umara just barely inching out Hesperos. “Loser,” I said with a grin.

“We’ll race back home.”

“Says the loser.”

His eyes danced with amusement. He used his shadows to transport the crates off our dragons’ backs and placed them on the grass below.

I yelped when a shadow tripped me. “Sore loser!”

Kieran laughed.

“Thank you so much, Lord Kieran!” a voice said.

I turned to see the villagers gathered at the entrance of the village, only a few yards away from us.

They all had broad grins and eagerly rummaged through the crates.

They went through them with an ease that spoke of how long this routine had been going on.

The clothing of the villagers looked about the same—all signifying lower middle class, but they were all healthy.

No one looked as if they’d been skipping meals.

That was more than the capital could claim .

The village itself was beautiful. Huge, grassy mountains surrounded the place with breathtaking views of its steep cliffs. The homes were nestled close with dirt roads connecting them and agricultural fields on the outskirts of the village. The place had a rustic sort of charm to it.

“We won’t be going to the festival, but we’re honored to have a new dragonsguard,” the leader said. I shifted. No matter how long I’d been a part of the dragonsguard, I never got used to the blatant awe people displayed.

“We never thought we’d see a commoner on the back of a dragon!” A young boy around ten walked up to me and grabbed my hands. He had dirt on his cheek, and his eyes shone bright. “Do you think you can convince the king to let one of us claim a dragon?”

I laughed, but there was a tightness in my throat. “Maybe someday. But there aren’t enough dragons for that.” And even once we hatched those three dragons, like hell would Luther let another commoner go anywhere near an unbonded dragon.

The leader flushed and pulled the boy back tucking him against his side. “Apologies.”

“It’s okay.” This time my smile was more genuine. “Kids are kids. My sister is just like him.” Naively optimistic.

The man nodded. “He’s not wrong though. I would love to see another dragon claim a commoner. It’s a shame their numbers have dwindled.” And from the look in his eyes, he knew it was next to impossible for a commoner to have a shot. It was only the children that looked hopeful.

It was a relief to fly away after that. Though I was surprised when Kieran had us stop at a meadow.

I’d never get over the beauty in Caddel Province.

The book I’d gotten was right—Caddel Province was mostly forests and mountains, but unique at each location.

It was like his lands were competing for which could be the most breathtaking.

The weeping trees surrounded the meadow, their long leaves cascading down their branches in a perfect hideout spot. I resisted the urge to climb one. Instead, I took in a deep breath and breathed in the smell of nature.

“There’s no rush to return home so fast.” Kieran laid down on the grass, and Hesperos curled behind him. I smiled at the sight and walked over, sitting crisscross next to Kieran. Umara chuffed and sprawled next to me, laying her head in my lap.

“You were right.” The words tumbled out.

He grinned. “I’m right about a lot of things. What in particular am I right about this time?”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t get cocky. You’re right about my sister. She’s happy where she is, and I don’t want to take that away from her. I’m not even sure if she should come stay at the castle.”

Kieran’s cocky grin faded. My stomach coiled into a knot.

He gets it. The others didn’t. Not really.

“It’s hard when your loved ones are better off without you.

I’m glad Wes isn’t a rider, though he hates me for it.

But the commoners don’t realize what being a dragonsguard actually means.

Yes, they tell stories about you and your name will go down in history, but most riders don’t live to see forty.

That’s why I’m content not to be in Regina’s life.

But your situation is different. Your sister loves you, and I truly think she’d want to stay by your side. I can’t blame her.”

His words stroked a fire in my belly. “Why don’t you say anything to Wes? I know you know about the advice Wes told me. Ben and Gareth can’t keep their mouths shut.”

His mouth twitched. “Glory is all he’s ever wanted. He deserves to hate me. Intentionally or not, I did steal that from him. But I don’t care if he hates me. As long as he’s alive.”

My lungs constricted. I felt the same. If anyone understood that feeling, it was Kieran.

I closed my eyes, heavily aware that I sat so close to him.

What am I doing? Mine and Kieran’s friendship was because of a mutually beneficial deal we’d struck.

If that went away, would Kieran even want to be near me? I doubted it.

“He’ll probably warn you again at the festival.

Fair warning, though I’m sure you’re already aware, the rest of the Noble Houses will be there.

It’s their time to complain.” He snorted.

“My stepmother actively wishes for my death. She wants someone she can control in the dragonsguard. At this point, I’m living just to spite her and my father. ”

I inhaled. “Kieran—”

“It’s a joke.”

But it didn’t seem that way. Not completely. Not from that shadowed look in his eyes. “That sucks. ”

“It does. But that’s life.”

I gave into the urge and laid down. When I looked at Kieran, he was watching me.

Our faces were merely inches from each other.

Gods, he had such long pretty eyelashes.

It wasn’t fair. “I wish Clara got to go.” I didn’t like Wes, but I hated the thought of her staying with some random that wasn’t him.

Kieran hummed. “It’s better for her not to. All those Houses will be testing you, trying to see your weakness. When you’re with her, it’s obvious.”

“Clara isn’t a weakness,” I said sharply.

He reached forward and flicked my braid. “That wasn’t what I was implying. She’s your strength.” The look in his eyes was too knowing. He knew. Wes was probably his. As well as Daeza.

I swallowed. “A year, right?”

“A year,” he confirmed. “Ideally, Luther will have given his approval, but even without it, I’ll help you see her.”

“How can we speed up the timeline?”

“We get the dragon eggs. Once Luther hatches them, the fight for them will be off. Dragons won’t kill baby dragons—that gives us five years of guaranteed peace.

And if humans try to intervene and fight anyway—it’s a bloodbath.

About sixty years ago, after the war ended, we almost started anew when two eggs were found.

An entire island got wiped off the map. That’s why we’re treading so carefully and keeping the eggs hidden until Raven is found.

But we can’t wait forever lest they get the jump on us. ”

“After the five years, won’t we just go back to war?” I frowned. “Is that your plan?”

“A lot can happen in five years. We won’t be at war forever.” His eyes glittered with unspoken plans.

I trusted him to come up with something.

Kieran wasn’t the type of man to gamble recklessly.

Once we had the eggs, we’d have a total of ten dragons against Andova’s three.

Maybe Andova would finally cede their land then or work out some sort of territory agreement.

“But we need the eggs. And we need to find Raven. Has there really been no leads?”

“They’re good at covering their tracks.” Kieran frowned. “But we will find them. Even if we have to risk hatching the eggs first, we’ll find them eventually.”

“How long will you wait until you say fuck it and get the eggs yourself?”

“It’ll save more lives if we can do this when we know we’re in control of the secret routes, and Raven isn’t lying in wait to take the eggs. But, if Raven grows bolder and forces my hand, I’ll get the eggs.”

I let out a frustrated noise. “So… in a couple months?”

He rolled his eyes. “This isn’t something we can rush.

I’ll let you know if anything changes. For now, focus on what you can control.

The festival is your debut. We need to change your image with Andova.

The last they saw you, they almost killed you.

The missions have helped change that, but the festival will cement their opinion on whether or not you are a helpless girl who got lucky or a warrior. Show them your blades, little thief.”

I exhaled. “I hate how uncertain this all is. Do you think Clara should stay at Daeza? If she’s at the capital, Luther might try to use her or hell, Andova might come for her.”

“He’ll still do that even if she stays at Daeza. At least at the capital, you can watch out for her.”

I exhaled. “I don’t want her involved in the war.” But that was too depressing to think about. There was something else I needed to tell him, something pressing. “Your brother wants my sister.”

“He doesn’t deserve her.” He grinned when I stared at him in shock.

“He needs to grow up. The capital isn’t everything.

Glory isn’t everything. But regardless, even if he can be a moron, Wes will protect her with his life.

He’s chivalrous, to an almost detrimental degree.

But I’m certain she’ll charm him into using his brain for once.

” His grin widened. “That’s something you two have in common. ”

My heart stuttered. “Did you know we have to do a talent show? Will you play your violin?” It was easier to ask that than to focus on my swirling emotions.

He huffed. “No. I won’t give that part of myself away.”

“You played for me.” He didn’t play when we camped.

“That’s different.” Kieran shook his head.

“Aurelia didn’t fully explain that part of the festival.

It’s not a talent show, but a display of our power.

You’re at a disadvantage since you don’t have your Gift.

Even though that’s normal, people will still see it as a weakness.

That’s why you must keep up your mask. Show them you’re a threat.

Be the powerful dragonsguard I know you to be. And don’t let them use you.”

My lips twitched. “Funny coming from you.”

“It goes both ways, doesn’t it? We’ll use each other.”

I swallowed and looked away. “We should get back.”

“In an hour. It’s nice to just be sometimes. I almost miss it.”