Page 64 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury (House of Embers #1)

The next morning, I went to Nimue's room after breakfast. I couldn’t sleep. I spent the entire night thinking over Kieran’s proposal. I needed to tell her about it. I would have yesterday, but with how sad she’d been, it didn’t seem like the right time.

I flopped facedown onto her bed. “Kieran is trying to psychologically torture me.”

“Care to explain, drama queen?” The bed dipped as she sat next to me, and she ran her hand along my braided hair. I arched into it like a cat.

I rolled onto my side. “Kieran asked if I wanted to be fuck buddies with him.”

Her hand froze. “That dog. Do you want me to kick his ass?”

I smiled and leaned into her hand. She laughed and began stroking my hair again and playing with the tips. “On one hand, I miss sex. And he’s right there, offering himself to me. It’s convenient.”

She laughed. “Bullshit. Don’t give me that look, Selena.

There’re plenty of servants who would gladly fuck you or let you fuck them.

You’re hot, and you ride a dragon. There is literally no better combo to exist. If you merely want to scratch an itch, it doesn’t have to be Kieran.

Hell, Ben propositioned you when he first introduced himself to you. ”

Damn. She read me like a book. I closed my eyes.

“He’s a calculating jerk. Especially when I first met him.

Hell, even after that. A part of me still doesn’t trust him.

And yet, he’s the person I think of when I’m having some me time or—or lately, when I need someone to cheer me up.

It’s like—like my body just reacts to being near him.

And not even in an entirely sexual way. Ugh.

I don’t know. It scares me how badly I want him.

Because I know he wants me, but I don’t know if it’s just sex to him. ”

Nimue fell silent as she stroked my hair. “Kieran makes a bad first impression, but he does care.”

I groaned. “Don’t tell me you're on his side.”

She laughed. “Of course not. You could murder him, and I'd tell Luther Aurelia did it.”

Warmth blossomed in my chest. “I just don’t know which side of him is the real him.

If I trust him and he betrays me, I’d feel so fucking stupid.

I hate that I’m attracted to that asshole.

So much can go wrong if I let myself fall.

Sometimes I wonder if he even cares for me or if it’s an act to make me fall in line.

” Nimue paused for the briefest of seconds.

I immediately noticed it and sat up. “What do you know?”

Nimue immediately crumpled. “Kieran was the reason you got to see your sister that first night. I didn’t know you back then, so I wasn’t going to risk my neck. Kieran pulled all the strings, and he promised me I wouldn’t get caught. ”

My ears rang. All this time… he helped me from the very beginning. Even when he spat venom at me, he helped me. And for no reward. Holy shit. It was him, not Nimue, who let me see my sister. “That fucking snake.” I jumped to my feet.

Just before I left the room, Nimue called after me, “Let me know if I need to hide the body.”

I stormed into Kieran’s room where he lounged on his bed, shirtless, with a book in his hand. His hair was still slightly damp, and beads of water trailed down his collarbones. For a moment, I stood frozen as I watched it cascade down his pecs and to his abs. Heat coiled in my body.

Godsdammit, Selena, focus.

I slammed the door shut behind me and glared at him. “You’re such a liar.”

Kieran arched a brow. “Of course, I am. Is there anything else you wanted to say?”

My jaw clenched. “You…” Red dotted my vision. I didn’t know what I wanted to say. All I knew was that I wanted to yell at him.

Kieran set his book on his bedstand and sauntered over to me. “Why don’t we go to Rafferty Tower? I doubt you want Aurelia gossiping to Luther.”

I panted, some of the red spots fading from my vision, and Umara’s growls no longer echoing in my mind. “Fine. Put on a shirt first though.”

He smirked. “Are you sure?”

“Do it before I hit you. ”

“As if you could.” But he grabbed a shirt from his wardrobe with a smile.

I waited impatiently and held out my arm. “You’re not getting out of this.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he murmured. Icy shadows washed over us, and we reappeared in the center of Rafferty Tower.

As soon as we landed, I yanked my hand from his and folded my arms. Kieran watched me with bemused eyes.

“Just what caused you to scream at me, little thief? What happened to being friends? ”

Gods, his tone made my blood pressure skyrocket. “Nimue told me.”

If I hadn’t been searching his gaze, I would’ve missed the minute shift in his brows. “And just what did she tell you?” He said it so casually, carefree and mocking.

Is this him being defensive? Is he trying to piss me off so I forget all reason? “She said it wasn’t her who let me see Clara, but you.”

His shoulders relaxed, and his gray eyes met mine. “And?”

I wanted to throw something at him. He was doing this on purpose—creating this distance. “You hated me back then, so why? Why would you do that? And why did you keep it a secret?” If he’d told me, I would’ve overlooked some of his attitude.

Kieran flexed his jaw and leaned against the wall. “Your sister was innocent. We had no idea if you’d survive the bonding flight. I wanted her to get to say goodbye just in case. ”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It didn’t matter.”

My nostrils flared. “Of course it does. Kieran—”

“This doesn’t change anything.”

“By the gods, it does. You helped me, and you covered it up.” I thought my feelings were one-sided, but him doing this proved he wasn’t a total calculating jerk. He could’ve told me at any time and endeared me to him, but he didn’t.

“I didn’t cover it up.”

“Stop lying. Stop bullshitting. You’re driving me crazy. Kieran, why did you—”

“Fuck it.” He grabbed the back of my neck and crushed his lips against mine.

My breath hitched, and he used that to explore every inch of my mouth.

It was an all-out attack, and I was helpless against it.

My knees quivered. The man kissed like he fought.

Devastating. Overwhelming. Demanding total submission and accepting nothing less.

His hand gripped my wrist and pulled me against him.

Kieran licked into my mouth, and I nearly crumbled.

Fire surged under my skin, and I deepened the kiss.

It was like a frenzy had overcome me. I wanted this for so long, and now that I had it, it was everything I wanted and more.

Heat pulsed between my thighs. I tugged at his shirt, trying to press him even closer.

This was insane. This was irresponsible.

This might’ve been a mistake. No. It wasn’t a mistake.

I wanted him so badly it ached. Hell, the evidence of how much I wanted him was my soaked panties.

When he went to pull away, I chased after his lips and ignored the burning in my lungs. More. I needed more.

A whimper escaped me, and a tidal wave of heat crashed over me. Kieran groaned against my lips, and he kept on the onslaught until black dots covered my vision from the lack of air. Only then did he pull away and only slightly.

While we gasped for breath, merely inches from each other’s lips, Kieran’s hand stayed fisted in my hair.

I moaned and the sound, loud in the soundless room, jolted me back to reality.

“What was that?” I whispered. He hadn’t stepped back.

His lips were still brushing mine, and his hand still burned my waist.

“The reason why I helped you. And why I stayed silent.”

“What are you trying to say?” I didn’t dare hope.

“Do I have to spell it out for you?”

The look in his eyes terrified me. I wasn’t stupid. I knew. Just like I knew I couldn’t take my eyes off him, even when I loathed him. “Yes. Say it plainly. No more lies.”

“Selena, I’m utterly infatuated with you. I want you. Even if that complicates things, I want to be with you.”

I stared, wide-eyed. “But you hated me. And you said we’d only ever be allies.”

“I did. And yet, I can’t get you out of my mind. I’ve tried. You’re like a fucking poison I can’t get rid of.”

I shoved him away. “Really? A poison? ”

He let out a breath, looking less controlled than I’d ever seen him.

“Of course you are. The second I saw you, you consumed me. I hated you, but I wanted you. I didn’t want to help you, but I did.

First, the day of your execution. I phrased your sentence differently.

Deep down, I’d hoped something would happen.

And then when Umara claimed you, I couldn’t get rid of you.

And a part of me was relieved even though I wanted you dead for fucking over your sister. ”

My head spun. Every word he said to me, every biting comment, I went through it in my mind.

“What do you want me to say to this? I don’t—I don’t understand.

You said you hated me. You said you were using me.

” This wasn’t supposed to be our story. I didn’t know what to do with this man who stood before me.

“I tried to keep my distance and stay away. But you wouldn’t let me. You chased me down.”

“So it’s my fault?”

“Yes.” He exhaled. “No, but I wish it was. You took the first step, but sooner or later, I would’ve jumped off the cliff to join you or been dragged down by fate.

I can’t stop giving away parts of myself to you, Selena.

You truly are a siren, and I’m helpless against your call. Your song was made just for me.”

My lips still tingled from the kiss. My Captain gifted to me by the gods themselves. I wanted him to drown in me. “What’s real, Kieran?”