Page 40 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury (House of Embers #1)

I’d never been more relieved to be back in my room. Tomorrow, training would start again, but for the rest of the night, I got to recover. Maybe it was Kieran’s way of being nice. My lips twitched. That man. He was utterly frustrating. A part of me still wasn’t sure how I felt.

I couldn’t believe I sang in front him. I hadn’t even done that for Brynn.

Only Clara. There was just something about Kieran that made me want to let down my walls.

I thought I had him figured out. I thought he only cared for rules, and the crown, but his actions the past few days destroyed that notion.

Kieran obeyed the crown only because doing so allowed him to achieve his goals.

I closed my eyes. His words on the castle rooftop had stung, but he had a point.

All my life I had only ever survived. I hadn’t done anything, and the one time I tried, it almost got me executed.

Now I had a chance to… to be a symbol. To potentially change the lives of the common people for the better.

But I don’t care about the common people. Clara was my one and only priority. And in about a week, I’d get to see her. What should I do if she’s happy over there? Should I let Kieran use me as a symbol? Even if I didn’t care about everyone else, maybe the benefits would outweigh the cost.

This is so confusing.

My door slammed open. I turned to see Nimue in the entryway. “You are so fucking stupid,” she hissed as she threw herself onto my bed. “I have half a mind to punch you.”

I groaned. “I know. Kieran already gave me the lecture.”

She smacked my arm. “I’m not heartless, okay?

I know it’s shitty here, but you can’t just—you can’t do something that’ll get you executed.

You’re the only person I like here. Actually, Gareth is nice and Ben’s not so bad, but that’s beside the point.

You’re my person. I know that’s crazy since we haven’t known each other that long, but you are. ”

I swallowed. “You’re mine too.” I’d never had a friendship like this, so easy and not transactional.

“I sorted it out yesterday. I’m not going to risk my sister’s future.

” It was a bitter pill to swallow realizing she was better off without me, but it was a fact.

Of course, that was only if she was being treated well.

“It’s not just that. I—I could have helped you.”

I looked at her so fast I got whiplash. “What?”

“Not to do that. I’m content to play the long game with Luther, but anyone else?

Fair game, and I’ll hide the body with you.

And we’ll blame whoever’s annoying us. Just let me help you next time.

Our dragons are bonded. We’re family. And even without them, you’re like a sister to me.

An annoying and reckless little sister.” She bumped her shoulder against mine.

“I’ll make sure you get to Clara, okay? After—”

“Kieran said the same thing.” I eyed her. “After this mission, I get to see her. That’s part of why I came back. I just—I need to know she’s okay.”

Nimue’s eyes widened. “Okay. I get that. Just don’t be rash next time. We covered for you so Aurelia and Luther didn’t find out, but they’re not idiots. They know something went down.” She looked down at her hands. “I hate that you felt so alone. And I’m sorry about William. I really am.”

I glanced down. “I won’t torture innocent people. I agreed to stay on in the dragonsguard, but that’s my line. I won’t cross it.”

Nimue swallowed. “I get that. I won’t ever make you.”

But we both knew she didn’t have the power to stop my hands from getting bloody.

Gareth ambushed me the next day after breakfast, demanding I talk with him in his room. “I’m glad Kieran talked some sense into you.”

I sat on his bed and fought the urge to roll my eyes. Would Ben lecture me too? “I don’t need a third lecture, Gareth.”

“Look, I didn’t pull you just to lecture you.

I wanted to show you something.” In a fluid motion, Gareth pulled off his gloves.

My eyes widened when I saw it. On the back of his right hand was a circular tattoo of a snake eating its own tail, and the number four etched into the center. A Traitor’s Brand. Fourth generation.

“That’s… that’s awful.” Everyone knew his family rebelled in the beginning of the civil war.

Some of their land had been given to House Benson and the family line was on watch.

That’s what the public was told. Clearly, it was much worse than that.

The number four signified that Gareth was the fourth generation to be punished.

His child would be the last one, and after that, the sentence would be complete.

Gareth stared at the brand. “I got it when I was six. Only once I became a rider was I allowed to wear gloves.”

That’s right. Gareth lived in the castle his whole life. “I’m so sorry.”

Gareth shook his head and slipped his gloves back on.

“You didn’t do anything, so there’s no need to be sorry.

I should have told you sooner, because I’ve been in your shoes.

I know what it’s like to be looked at like a traitor.

I was never supposed to be a rider. I changed my legacy by being in the dragonsguard, and now my child won’t ever wear the fifth mark.

I’m not trying to get your pity, but I need you to know you’re not alone. ”

My head spun. All that talk about changing your legacy… it hadn’t been total bullshit. Gareth had been speaking from experience. “I appreciate that.” It might have changed things if he had told me. He wasn’t like the others, hadn’t grown up with everything.

Gareth nodded. “It was selfish of me not to share. Everyone else knew. And I… I think I didn’t tell you because I’d always grown up feeling different, feeling other.

First with the mark and then when I had to tell others I was a boy instead of…

of what they thought.” He smiled. “You were a fresh start.”

“I’m mad about a lot of things, but never that. The mark isn’t something to casually share, and as for the other… it’s your business whether you want to share your story. That doesn’t change anything.”

The tension in Gareth’s shoulders melted away. “Thank you. Your situation is hard. I’ve been there. But I promise you, after a few years of service, you’ll have a new story, a new legacy. If you need to talk, I’m always here to lend an ear.”

I wasn’t one for hugging, but I reached over and hugged him anyway.

The next few days were repetitive. Kieran was even more insistent on our training.

We practiced mounting and dismounting our dragons while under attack.

Usually Kieran served as our ‘attacker’ but everyone else played the role at some point.

Sometimes it was just one person, other times it was teams. Mainly, those with offensive abilities did it.

Like Aurelia with her light beams and Ben with his telekinesis.

More often than naught, I got bruised to hell.

But for the first time, I didn’t mind. Not after seeing how terrible the gryphons were. I needed to be ready to fight them and as much as I hated it, the training helped. Especially since they’re targeting me.

Kieran went back to being an annoying asshole. I thought the night at Rafferty Tower would change things, but ever since then, he kept his distance. He’d glare at me and then go back to barking out orders. It was as if that night never happened.

I hated it, and I hated him for making me let down my walls. Why the fuck did I sing in front of this man? Why did he play for me if he was going to go right back to being a jerk?

“You can do better than that,” he snarled as I stumbled my landing from the flying dismount.

There was no warmth in his tone, no kindness.

Did he not realize a dismount while my dragon hadn’t even landed yet was fucking hard?

Kieran’s stormy eyes met mine, and his jaw locked. “It’s like you're trying to die.”

“Oh yes, I’m totally trying to get eaten by gryphons,” I snapped.

My shoulder throbbed. My dismount was technically easier than the others—I only had to dismount when Umara was inches from the ground, but it wasn’t something that came naturally to me.

I’d fallen on my shoulder. Hard. I got that Kieran was stressed.

This was the biggest number of gryphons he’d ever faced, but he didn’t need to take it out on me.

“This is all planned on my part. I’m having a great time pissing you off by failing miserably.

Really, I am.” I bared my teeth in a smile.

The others watched silently and exchanged looks. Cowards. None of them wanted to invoke Kieran’s wrath by standing up for me .

He ground his teeth together. “Take this seriously or get off my training field.”

Gods, I wanted to storm off. My hands clenched at my sides. “You know I’m training hard. Stop fucking undermining that. I’m here longer than they are, staying behind to continue training.”

Kieran stalked toward me. I hated the way I noticed how his uniform perfectly accentuated his features.

Like his muscled arms. Or how hot his Rider’s Mark looked as it caressed his neck.

Gods, even the sweat on him looked good.

Fucking prick. His good looks made me even more pissed off.

“The gryphons won’t go easy on you. Do the dismount again.

If you stumble, I’ll have you running laps until the sun goes down. ”

I gave him a vulgar gesture before I stalked over to Umara.

We did the drill again, and I thanked the gods I managed to stay on my feet.

Not that Kieran cared. When we locked eyes, he merely arched a brow as if mocking me for even deigning to consider the successful dismount worthy of celebration. Jerk.