Page 69 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury (House of Embers #1)

Kieran sat on the bed, but he kept a polite distance between the two of us.

“If you hide away, they’ll consider it a victory.

They’ll know they’re more powerful. By continuing on, we rattle their faith, especially when they realize their little assassin is dead.

They fear Selena the Siren. Let them. Make your reputation your own.

Be the siren who sings men to their deaths, Selena.

And like I said, I’m not leaving your side.

If you can’t deliver the final blow, I’ll happily do it.

I don’t care if I have to stain my soul. You will not get hurt again.”

I glanced down at the sheets. When I closed my eyes, I could see the viciousness in Kieran’s expression as he snapped the man’s neck.

If I was Clara, I’d be horrified. But I’d hurt men before to put food on my sister’s plate.

It didn’t scare me. If anything, now that the panic had faded, seeing how far Kieran would go to protect me…

it only made me feel warm inside. “What made you ask me?”

Kieran blinked. “What? ”

“During the festival. When you asked if I wanted to be by your side. ‘Scratch the itch’ or whatever. What made you ask me?”

He let out an incredulous noise. “You’re seriously asking me that right now?”

I ran my hand through my hair. “It’s better than thinking about what just happened. Or the fact that I have to keep traveling while actively having a bounty on my head.”

Kieran’s hand stretched toward me before freezing in place.

“I meant what I said. I wanted to hate you—I did hate you, but I also wanted to protect you, to be close to you. At first, I only wanted to use you, but then we got closer. I tried to resist, but I can’t.

I’ve given my soul for the protection of the Lusadians.

And for so long, that was enough. I was willing to put aside my happiness for it.

But then you broke down my walls, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I’m not going to deny my feelings for you any longer or put aside something I know could be monumental.

I fucking want you, Selena. No one else compares.

No one else sees me like you do. With you, I don’t have to hide. I want you. No, I crave you.”

My heart squeezed at his words. I wished I didn’t have the rest of the world to worry about. “But why then? Why not sooner?”

“Because I got tired of denying my feelings. Even in the beginning, I found myself opening up to you. I’ve never played for anyone else except Gareth—and that was only once and after years of knowing each other.

But with you? With you, I’d gladly rip open my chest and hand you my heart.

And that’s fucking terrifying. I’ve been solely focused on my goals for so long.

The fact that you could come in and just—just make me want to throw that all away is terrifying.

You have so much power over me, and you don’t even realize it. ”

I swallowed. “But why wait?” If he asked me sooner, if it’d been earlier, I would’ve been able to say yes.

“What do you want from me?” Kieran growled.

“You want me to say I can’t stop thinking about you?

Because I can’t. You want me to say I wish I could fight this?

Because I do. You drive me insane . I want to be reckless with you.

I waited because I tried to hold myself back and think of my goals, but I can’t anymore.

I’d sooner be able to stop the sun from rising than stop my feelings for you.

I want you. It’s selfish and greedy and everything I fought against, but I don’t care.

I want to kiss you. I want to fuck you. I want to hold you and make you happy. Gods, Selena, the things you do to me.”

I swallowed. That wasn’t the whole truth.

I could feel it in my bones. Kieran wouldn’t just change his mind on a whim.

He was too calculating for that. If I was to even consider the impossible, I needed to know.

“I just don’t understand. What changed? Something had to have for you to give that proposal? ”

Kieran’s stormy gaze trapped me in place.

“I made up my mind when I took you to the cliffs. There was no point in denying it any longer. And to do so would just leave us both vulnerable. But not only that, I was tired of settling for unhappiness when you were right there and I knew what we both wanted. The proposal—it was just a way in. Because I know you, Selena. You don’t believe in good-hearted princes or roses.

You guard your heart with the fierceness of a dragon so that no one can hurt you.

I know, because I do the same. I’ve built the same walls. Employed the same dragon.”

My chest ached. “Then why? What do you even see in me? I don’t… I know there’s a connection, but…”

Kieran cupped my face and tilted my head to meet his gaze.

He stroked my jawline, and the touch sent tingles down my spine.

“Of course, it’s more than a simple connection.

I want you because you’re passionate. Because you won’t do what everyone tells you to do.

Because no matter what gets in your way, you’re determined to break it down.

Because you love with your whole heart, and you’ll fiercely protect what’s yours.

I’ve never lowered my walls for anyone, but you.

I’ve never trusted my heart to anyone but you.

Your song might sing me to my doom, but I can’t fucking wait to go to you anyways.

You want to know why I took the step? Because it was where I was always heading.

A path I could never avoid. Fate will always take me to your doorstep, but it’s because of you that I choose to knock on your door. Because I’m utterly devoted to you.”

He was so close. Every part of my body longed to close the distance and kiss him. He was a cruel man and a calculating one. All these words were designed to make my heart melt. And they did.

Kieran let go. “Why me?”

I jerked back. “What?”

His lips quirked. “I’m feeling a bit neglected here, little thief. I’ve poured my heart out to you. What do you feel towards me, Selena, or do you only want me for sex? Have you lied to me, darling? Played with my heart?”

I stilled. “I… I don’t have to answer that.” If I did, it’d hurt even more.

He leaned closer. “Now who’s being a coward?”

I knew he was trying to push my buttons, but I straightened my shoulders anyway.

“Shut up. You want to know—fine. I can’t stop thinking about you either, okay?

I hated you when I first saw you. I thought you wanted me dead.

Hell, I wanted you dead. But then you saved me.

And you kept saving me. And we kept talking, and I found out you’re not a total asshole.

That underneath all that, you care, and you dream, and you want to help people.

I’m drawn to you in ways I can’t fully explain.

It’s like… like no matter where I go, my soul will always be connected to you. ”

“Then we’re on the same page.” He leaned forward, and his breath warmed my lips, but he didn’t get any closer, didn’t close the distance like I yearned for him too. “I know you want this as much as I do.”

Heat simmered in my belly. “But we can’t. If Luther finds out—”

“We’d be careful.”

“It’s too risky.”

“I’d cherish you. You own my heart, Selena.”

“Clara—”

“She wouldn’t get in trouble. Even if something happened, I’d protect her with my life. I know how much she means to you. I won’t let anything happen to her.”

My heart squeezed. Despite my body’s protests, I pulled back. “I can’t make any decisions tonight.” Not when my emotions were so scattered.

“I don’t expect you to.” Kieran’s eyes glinted. “When you fall into my bed, I want it to be because you can't resist me. Not because you want to escape. But don’t think I’m giving up, little thief. I’ll show you I can protect you. Even if I have to slaughter the world to do it.”