Page 6 of A Game of Monsters (Realm of Fey #4)

Imeria had always been a quiet place, but when Erix departed – preparing the necessaries for our journey to Durmain – the silence felt like a void. All encompassing, devouring. The wide jaws of a beast, which I walked straight into. A graveyard, which was fitting for those who’d died here when half the castle fell, or when my mother and the family I never met were slaughtered.

And yet, with all the ghosts around me, I still felt alone.

I drew up a wooden chair at Duncan’s bedside. It was the morning after Eroan dropped the news about Althea and Gyah’s wedding. Even after another night’s sleep with Erix on his chair beside me, I hardly felt well-rested, but I was better than I had been, at the very least.

Light streamed in through the stained-glass window. Dust danced in the beams, twisting like ropes of gold attempting to entangle any poor soul who found themselves walking through it. One ray shone over the side of Duncan’s face, highlighting just how awful he looked. Deep lines, paled blotches of red, dried skin which looked sore and agitated.

He’d be waking naturally after the last dose of Gardineum wore off. It was like clockwork, this routine we’d found ourselves in. Since yesterday, when he woke up even though Gardineum was pumped through his veins, it hadn’t happened again.

And just as I expected, it didn’t take long for him to stir. When his eyes slowly creaked open, they found me before noticing anything else.

“Good morning, Robin,” he croaked, verdant eyes wincing against the harsh light. “Is it that time already?”

I no longer had the mirror to use to see if it was Duncan or Duwar speaking. Not that I needed it. After what I was about to say, this conversation was for me and Duwar alone. The demon would show itself. I had my suspicions who I was speaking with, but my following words would be a draw in case Duwar was still hiding.

“I’ve been thinking about your offer,” I said, keeping my voice clear and confident, even though my hand shook on my lap. “A lot, actually.”

Duncan blinked, and when his eyes opened again it was as if blood spread across his green iris. “Have you finally come to your senses, Robin Icethorn?”

My nails pinched into my palms at the drawn-out hiss of the demon’s voice. I refused to give it the satisfaction of winning, at least not yet. I required answers first, and I didn’t have long until Erix returned.

Duwar couldn’t know what I planned.

Duncan’s body, controlled by the demon, rose from the mattress. He strained against the iron bindings, smiling as though it was some ultimate pleasure. His tongue traced his lower lip, disturbing the already chapped skin.

I flinched back, Duwar’s grin faltering. “There is no need to fear me, as I have told you before, I am not the threat you believe me to be.”

More words without merit.

“I want to understand, before I contemplate the transference.” I knew what it entailed now, after Erix told the story of Duwar using my form to lay a hand on Duncan’s chest. Was it truly that simple? “If you would indulge me with a few answers, I would appreciate it.”

“Transference,” Duwar hissed. The sound of clinking chains made my skin crawl as he struggled to get comfortable. “What is there to contemplate, Robin? This vessel is so close to death; his will may be strong, but his body is weak; it is not made for the likes of power such as I. We both can agree that his passing would not be beneficial. Your hesitation is the only factor which draws out his suffering, you understand that, do you not?”

I hated myself for agreeing, but Duwar was right. “I do.”

Dark eyes narrowed on me, head tilting ever so slightly to the side. “I am beginning to wonder if you even care that Duncan will perish?”

“It would be wise not to worry about my thoughts.” I leaned in closer. “And if you kill him, you’ll be lost forever. You’ve already made that clear to me, Duwar. Otherwise, you would not be so desperate to arrange for me to serve as your new host.”

Duncan’s mouth split into a handsome smile. There was nothing dangerous about it, and yet my heart, mind and soul told me to run.

“Robin, you would never let that happen to Duncan.” His brows drew down over sombre eyes, giving me a look at the truly worried creature lurking in Duncan’s body. “I am merely waiting for you to make the decision. The right one, for Duncan and for you. Give yourself to me, and Duncan will be freed from this torment. He made this decision to offer you power, and you have spat in the face of his sacrifice. But I know, as you do, that you shall make the right decision eventually. Or do you need more time to conceptualise my offer, knowing that time is not a commodity that you, or Duncan, has to waste?”

I scoffed, trying to remind myself that I had the power. “You act with the confidence of a creature who forgets he needs my cooperation.”

“Your lack of decision is killing him, Robin. You do understand that. I am holding on, as a courtesy for you.”

Lies .

“Offering myself up as your new vessel isn’t the easiest decision to make,” I replied, trying and failing to keep the desperation from my tone. It was written all over my expression. I saw as much in the warped reflection in Duncan’s red eyes.

“What is it you must know, to make the decision easier?”

I let Duwar’s question hang in the air between us. Erix had been the one to finally divulge what had happened in Duwar’s realm. He mentioned seeing me – not monstrous as Duwar’s reflection was – but me. He’d touched Duncan, clawed his skin and entered through a wound.

No different to how I’d accepted the Icethorn key.

“Why me?” I asked, my question double-sided.

The answer would prove another one of my theories.

“Because you are power in Duncan’s eyes,” Duwar replied simply. “He saw the true reflection of what I am, not what the world has made you believe me to be.”

My skin itched as Duwar – ever desperate – tried to manipulate me into this lie of theirs. “You are wrong.”

“Then you tell me what you think is the correct explanation.”

I swallowed hard, longing to claw Duwar out of Duncan with my bare hands. “I think you glamoured yourself to trick Duncan into your web. You showed him an illusion of me to lure him in. Forever hiding the truth of your darkness. Desperation made you pick the only fly that was unfortunate enough to get tangled in your web. Now you have finished with that feast, you are looking for the next.”

“Perspective is interesting, is it not?” Duncan turned his head, eyes never leaving me. “You are told that something is evil, and you believe it so willingly.”

Ice itched across my skin, begging for release. “You’re killing Duncan, that is proof enough for me.”

“No, we have already come to the conclusion that you are the one killing him. I have told you how you can save him, but still you hesitate. Make the decision now, and he will be saved.”

I leaned in close, showing I didn’t fear the demon-god, proving that it should fear me. “Why should I believe you will not do the same to me, if I accept your offer?”

“Because you are fey .”

I leaned back, brushing the comment off with a hand. “That isn’t enough of an explanation.”

“Your body can heal at a rate that is incomparable to a human’s. I never had a hand in creating the humans, and if I had, they would have certainly been stronger than whatever this is.”

The deranged laugh that burst out of me caught Duwar by surprise. “The fey belong to Altar. The humans to the Creator. We all know the stories.”

“And yet you never heard of Duwar,” Duwar said, Duncan and the demon’s voices tanged as one. The unnatural sound grated on my soul. “There is much you do not understand, possibilities that you would never have even believed. I cannot blame you for your impertinence, but I do pity you.”

“Pity me?” I echoed. “It would seem you’re confused. You’re the powerless one here. All those years locked away, and you find freedom only to face death. Duncan is mortal, which means you will suffer the same as he does.”

It clicked into place – the one detail I’d contemplated since this hell began. Duwar lifted Duncan’s lips into a knowing smile, as if they read my mind.

“You thought Duncan was fey, didn’t you?” I asked, chest aching from the beat of my heart. “You saw his power and took your chance for escape, inside him.”

“As you previously pointed out, I was desperate.” Duwar looked down at the body tied in iron to the bed, pity flashing in his burning eyes. “Does it pain you to look and see what your prolonging is causing.”

“Duncan would want me to let you die.”

“But what do you want, Robin Icethorn?”

I opened my mouth but closed it again. The answer was simple. I might’ve said it, but my actions thus far already proved my intentions. I wanted Duncan alive and well. This was my fault. I was the only one who deserved to suffer for helping open the gate.

Peace . I wanted peace.

“Choosing this body, instead of that gryvern who shadows you, was a mistake I will regret. One you will also regret if you do not help me vacate him,” Duwar said, the pleading in its tone more pronounced than it had been before. “You think I am evil, but I am not. I am whatever you want me to be, whatever you use me for. A sword can be used for murder, or decoration. I am the sword, now you must decide my use.”

“No, you are a demon .”

Duwar used Duncan’s body like a puppeteer and shrugged. “I tried to show you, and still you turn your back to me.”

I closed my eyes, watching the scene play out as Duncan had used Duwar to spread life over the ruins of Imeria castle. It had happened when we returned to Imeria, but that wasn’t all. There was another part of my return which I had not thought of since, because I made a promise to someone to forget it… forget them .

Duwar’s display was yet more tricks – more illusions to lure me into the same web that Duncan had found himself bound in.

“Enough of your tricks,” I snapped. “You message is clear. You need me in order to survive, and so the choice is in my hands.”

“Exactly. I need you, and you need to accept me willingly, if you want Duncan to live.”

Willingly . Duwar was speaking on consent as if he gave Duncan that choice. Or did he? Erix had said that what he saw was not contention or aggression. But even if Duncan accepted Duwar into his body, it was only because he thought he was conversing with me.

One thing I knew for a fact: Duncan was dying. Duwar was killing him. My hesitation was killing him. We both would lead to his demise, unless I acted soon. I would lose Duncan forever, and as much as I pretended to be strong, I knew – and so did Duwar – that I’d never let that happen. Which was exactly why I had to speak to Rafaela and understand the binding of a person in labradorite before I gave Duwar my answer.

“It’s time you get some more rest, Duwar.” I moved for the chest of drawers, fingers brushing over the box that contained the syringe and Gardineum.

“Is this conversation over already?” Duwar asked. “When we last conversed, you bound this body in chains and kept me locked away, but there was still love in your touch.”

“I do love–”

“But today you are cold, closed off.”

Because I’m arguing with the demon possessing the man I love.

I looked up, aware of the demon’s scrutiny. From his winning grin, it already believed it had the answer. “I do not owe you anything but this, Duwar.”

Duwar ignored the syringe closing in as he pressed me further. “It is your guard. Erix. You have realised that you can let Duncan die because you have someone else to fall back on–”

“That isn’t true,” I snapped. I wished nothing more than to claw the demon out of Duncan with my bare hands, to exorcise the presence and free him without giving myself up. “You were the one who brought Erix here.”

“No.” Duncan’s head tilted like an inquiring mutt. “That was all Duncan. Once again using my potential to show you the world in which you could live, if only you accepted me. Your love for them both has no bounds, Duncan understands that. He accepts that, somewhere deep down.”

“Shut up.”

Duwar ignored my command. “You know, I could give you them both. I promised you everything, and everything is what you will get, if you just give yourself to me… the transference works on a willing participant. When – if – you give yourself to me, my power will be yours.”

“Your lies have no sway over me, Defiler.”

I lowered the loaded syringe toward Duncan’s body.

“Wait,” Duwar snapped, eyes drowning in panic, knowing his last moments of consciousness were fleeting. “Before you do that, ask yourself why Altar created keys knowing that, if used again, it would one day open my realm and set me free? Why did my potential put two gods to war?”

My silence was enough of a response for Duwar to continue.

“Because they knew what I could give them, and they ensured a way that if the time came, I was reachable. You called my realm a prison, but it was merely a waiting spot, a place to bide my time until I was required again. But we do not always get what we want, do we, Robin?”

I shook my head, pushing myself to standing. The conversation was over. I didn’t want to hear any more, only because my mind ached with what he just said.

If Duwar was the demon, and he was imprisoned for reasons we will never truly know. Why would Altar make keys? Keys are to be used…

“I can sense you finally opening your mind to what I have to say,” Duwar continued, taking pleasure in spreading his lies. “Keys were made because even Altar desired a failsafe. He knew that he would need me one day. Just as he tore me out of the ground, using my power to create his children, the fey – Altar knew a time would come when that power would be required. Likely to beg for my forgiveness for his treatment. Maybe to require my assistance in punishing the god the human’s call the Creator – the true trickster.”

I steeled my expression, refusing to give weight to what Duwar shared. “One of these days you’ll understand that I’m not so easily convinced.”

“Duncan was convinced. He understood the potential.”

“I am not Duncan,” I said.

“No, that you are not. But you are running out of time.”

I hated hearing Duwar speak on Duncan as if he believed him to be anything more than the demon he was. “I’ve heard enough–”

“Let me die then, sacrifice Duncan as a result of your hesitance. I suppose it is a fair price, to save the world from the monster you have all been told I am. But will you truly risk letting him perish, if you have even the slightest belief that I am telling the truth?”

“I don’t believe you.” I could barely contain the anger in my voice. “I witnessed what you did with Aldrick. I saw, first-hand, the creatures that follow you like hounds. Every time I look in a fucking mirror I see a demon. My perception of you and what you will do to this world is made in the image of your actions thus far.”

“As you have just said, your perception of me. You see what you think you know.” Duncan tensed his arms, pulling at the restraints. For someone so weak, I was certain I felt the spark of lightning in the air. If it wasn’t for the iron, Duwar could conjure a storm in the room.

“Actions speak louder than your plea.”

“And what are my actions? What have I done, Robin? Offer humans access to power that Aldrick kept from them? Was my suggestion of balance so terrible?”

“You desire nothing but ruin!”

“I long to give the world of my crafting a second chance. I never asked to be used by Altar, I never wanted this consciousness and life. But that was not for me to decide.”

“Liar,” I hissed.

Duncan’s forehead furrowed in deep grooves, worry sent into every crease. “I only wanted a world of peace, Robin. A place in which our creations would live together, equal in power. But no. It was not enough. Ego and jealousy got in the way, deceit between so-called brothers. I am as much a victim as every soul lost in the fight of power and control since my imprisonment.”

“I’ve heard enough,” I lied, because this was the first time Duwar had divulged so much information, knowledge that could be used against him if he just continued to spew it.

Hands shaking, I guided the needle toward Duncan’s neck, searching for a vein whilst Duwar continued to look at me through my love’s eyes. “Ask the right questions, Robin, and you will find yourself with the right answers.”

The needle pricked through skin, the liquid Gardineum slowly entering the vein I found. All the while, the demon-god never looked away from me.

“Rest well, Duwar.”

The demon winced, the creased lines across Duncan’s forehead smoothing as the drug worked its magic. “Time is running out, Robin. For you and for Duncan.”

“I know that,” I said, tears suddenly streaming down my cheeks. Just one look at Duncan and I could see the deterioration. There was no ignoring that I had to go to Lockinge now. I needed to speak to Rafaela so I could get the answers I required if I was to accept Duwar’s offer of transference.

I still could hear it, as clear as it had been spoken the night Duncan awoke possessed by Duwar.

“I will offer you a deal. Provide me access to your body, and I shall give you the world you wish for. The one where you get to have everything you desire.”

As the drug emptied into Duncan’s blood stream, Duwar faded into silence, his presence departing as the Gardineum overcame his vessel. I half expected Duncan to regain control, but he was too weak to even try. I brushed his hair from his forehead and planted a kiss upon his damp skin. He may not have been conscious, but I hoped that somewhere deep down, he sensed me.

I had to say my goodbyes. I promised to return soon and that he was going to be in safe hands. I was just about to close the door on his room and fall into the routine of breaking down, when a small voice chirped on the bed.

“Darling?”

I paused, daring to look up, scared at what I’d find. Green eyes. Duncan’s eyes. They squinted at me, shadowed by dark circles. He could barely lift his neck up to see me, but gods did he try. His gaze flickered behind me. “Why are you alone? Where is… Erix?”

There was no ignoring the genuine concern in his broken voice.

“He’ll be back soon.” It had barely been any time since he left me, and I craved his return. “Duncan, you need to rest.”

“I know.” Duncan physically relaxed, as if the drug wasn’t enough to do that for him. Clearly, perhaps for differing reasons, he felt the same as I did inside at the knowledge that Erix would be back at Imeria soon.

A shaking hand reached out and grasped mine. I took it, glad for the touch I craved so desperately. “Just promise me one thing, Robin. Please.”

“Anything,” I leaned in close, needing to close the space between us. “Ask me anything, and I will do it.”

Duncan released a heavy breath. “Just promise me you will not send Erix away. Never again. Keep him close… I trust him to care for you as I would…”

Duncan was fading again, his eyes growing heavy, his mouth slack as a rasped breath fought its way out.

I swallowed the urge to scream. “I promise, Duncan.”

The most beautiful but weak smile crested over his face. “Good, my darling. That’s good.”

In those rare moments when he had control over his body, it only reminded me of what I risked losing. It was easier to cope in the silence, easier to pretend Duncan wasn’t possessed.

“I love you, Duncan,” I said, entire body trembling. “You know that, don’t you?”

He nodded, the movement soft and subtle. “I do.”

“Which is why I need to leave you, only for a short while.”

“You must do what is required. But before you go,” Duncan forced out, his words growing sluggish. “Will you… pray… over me?”

Duncan had lost his faith years ago, when he joined the Hunters. But it seemed, when possessed by a demon, he clung to it. Used it as a shield and a weapon against the monster inside of him. Would it harm Duwar to hear the Creator’s prayer? It brought me comfort to think it would, and if it helped ease Duncan, that was all that mattered.

I clutched at my chest, wishing to ease the pressure beneath my ribs. “Of course, I will.”

Returning to his bedside, I reached for his pillows to fluff them up and give Duncan’s weakening body a lick of comfort. It wasn’t much, and it didn’t make the guilt any easier to combat, but I hoped it showed Duncan that I still loved him, more than words could explain.

“Oh Father, thy being of endless love and resilience,” I began, leaning over Duncan as I righted the final pillow. “We pray that–”

I drew back, hissing, to see blood well on the tip of my finger. My eyes snapped to where my hand had been beneath the pillow, but found Duncan’s eyes were wide and he was spluttering out excuses, green eyes fixed on my bleeding finger.

“Duncan, what is this?” I asked, voice trembling.

“I am saving… you from making… a decision– ” Duncan stumbled over his words, unable to open his eyes as the Gardineum finally took over. “Please, do not take this choice from me.”

Ignoring him, and the throbbing spreading down my hand, I lifted Duncan’s head off his pillow. What I found turned my blood to ice. Light caught on the shard of glass, the edge coated in my blood. Instantly, I knew it was part of the mirror that had smashed. I drew it out, holding it up as my finger throbbed.

“Glass, Duncan?” I asked, lifting the large shard of glass between us.

Duncan closed his eyes against his will as the drug took hold. His breathing had smoothed out, telling me sleep had claimed him before he could answer me.

“Duncan,” I said again, looking down at the horror on my face. “Duncan, wake up! Look at me… tell me why you have broken glass beneath your pillow…”

The only noise he made was the slight rasp of a snore.

I starred at my reflection with a look of pure disbelief. There was only one reason I could understand why Duncan kept the glass there. With its sharp edges, he’d be able to use it to bring an end to his suffering. Was that why he wanted Erix to be with me? So I wouldn’t have been alone when I found him, bleeding out, in his bed?

Dread crept up my throat, wrapping unseen hands and squeezing.

Time really was running out. Duwar seemed desperate, and maybe this was why? Duwar knew what Duncan was planning, the next chance he had control over his body.

He was going to take his life, so that I didn’t have to make that decision.

Sickness overcame me, every muscle in my body trembling with shock.

I don’t know how I managed to leave the room, but I did so, still clutching the shard of glass. I stopped halfway down the corridor, needing to lean against the wall for support. The cold stone seeped into my body, offering me some clear-minded comfort.

I cried until there was nothing left in me. I reached the nearest window, threw it open and threw the shard of glass as far as I could manage.

It was then I saw the three winged bodies flying toward the castle.

Erix had returned to Imeria, with the company he promised. Two familiar gryvern I’d met days prior.

Sensing something had happened during his absence, and before I could talk, Erix made me wash and change whilst he placed the trunks of clothes and items into the carriage which arrived soon after him. My urgency was hard to ignore, but with the presence of our guests , I had to keep myself calm.

Duncan was going to take his life. The truth of that made me act upon instinct, as if my body was not my own, moving by the accord of the final scraps of strength I had.

When Erix finally addressed me with the plan, I could barely hear him through the rushing of blood in my ears.

“Maren and Gregory have agreed to watch over Duncan whilst we are away,” Erix explained again, as the two gryvern guards stood vigil before me. If I expected them to react with hate, fear and vengeance at the knowledge of Duwar, they didn’t. Whatever Erix told them about Duncan, they weren’t fazed. I dared not ask for fear I’d give details away, ruining the illusion Erix had spun. “When you are ready, you tell them everything you need about his routine.”

That gave me focus, enough to unload all the information that would ensure he was safe, alive and well, upon my return.

I took my time giving them the guidance on how to care for him. They would keep him fed and watered, ensure he was washed and changed whilst also keeping on top of his Gardineum injections – which Erix referred to as his medicine for his mental decline. One of them had to stay guard with him at all times, a detail that Erix didn’t question. There was no mention of Duwar or demon-gods, for fear that the more who knew about them, the stronger the god would become, but deep down I knew they sensed the wrongness. I could see it in their eyes, a hesitation to the silent topic that no one brought up.

Belief was power after all.

When I finally told them about the shard of glass – and what I believed Duncan’s intentions were – Erix trembled at my side. Secrets on top of secrets wasn’t what I needed right now. If Duncan was serious about ending his life, I needed the gryvern guards to stay vigilant.

Erix was right – my secrets were crushing me. If felt… freeing to share at least one with the three before me. Although, one look at Erix when I told them what I found under Duncan’s pillow, and I saw the colour drain from his face, replaced with the pallor of soul-eating worry.

“Not a minute can be spared without eyes on him,” Erix commanded when I was finished, his lips paled from tension, his gaze focused on an unimportant point on the wall. “Am I clear?”

“Yes,” the gryvern agreed in unison.

“Duncan Rackley will be kept in the best hands,” Erix confirmed, more to himself than the rest of us. “No harm will befall him, that I can assure you.”

I forced a smile. “Then we leave for Durmain before I change my mind.”

No one argued with that.

In the end, it wasn’t as hard to leave Imeria as I thought it would be. Knowing Duncan was left bound inside the castle walls, knowing what would happen if I failed on this mission for answers.

Whilst Eroan believed I left for a wedding, the truth was different.

The sooner we reached Lockinge, the sooner I could locate Rafaela, the better. Then I would come back and end this.

I had to end this. Once and for all.