Page 2 of A Game of Monsters (Realm of Fey #4)

I needed iron. Lots of it. The minimal store I had back in Imeria Castle was working as I required it to, but if I was to keep Berrow, Icethorn, Wychwood – everything and everyone – safe, I needed a lot more, and soon.

A hand reached out and stopped me before I could walk back to the main doors. “Will I be seeing you in Lockinge for the events Cassial is hosting?”

I’d been made aware that the Nephilim had been hard at work at repairing relations between the humans and the fey. There were talks of a wedding or some other grand event to be hosted, but for whom had yet to be agreed. Regardless, I had no plans to leave Icethorn. Not because I didn’t want to run away from what lingered here, but because I couldn’t risk taking my eyes off it.

I shook myself free. “No. I don’t believe so. Jesibel needs me, and I don’t like the idea of uprooting her from her new life. Think it’s best I stay behind.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie. Jesibel had cemented a new life with me, and I didn’t want to leave her. But she was a great cover for the real reason I could not leave Imeria. It was enough to stop Erix, or anyone else, asking more questions.

I took a step away, creating distance when Erix called after me.

“Robin, wait.”

The power he held over me hadn’t waned in the weeks we’d been apart. This time he didn’t need to stop me with the grasp of a hand, the use of my name was enough. After we’d returned to Imeria with Duncan, I’d put Erix in charge of Berrow as its lord, knowing full well it was the only way I could distract him enough so that he wouldn’t discover the truth.

He’d been right, of course, when he’d made the accusation.

“Yes, Erix?” I replied, without turning to face him. I faced the closed doors ahead, the gryvern at its sides doing everything in their power to disappear into the shadows. Altar knew I wished for the same – to disappear.

“How is Duncan these days?” Erix asked the one question that could break me. “It has been a while since… since I last saw him. Believe it or not, I care to know he is faring well.”

It was a question that I knew would come, but I wasn’t prepared for it. “I will pass on your well-wishes, Erix. He’ll be glad to receive them, I’m sure.”

“That hasn’t answered my question, Robin. And you know it.”

I swallowed the bile burning my throat. My heart cantered in my chest, my anxiety close to spilling out physically. “Duncan is getting better each and every day.”

It was a lie. No doubt Erix could sniff it on me.

“The people of Icethorn haven’t seen in him a long while. And those very people are talking. As Lord of Berrow, may I make a request that the next time you visit, you should both come–”

“I have Eroan to council me on the whispers of my people,” I snapped, too late to bite down on my tongue.

Erix followed my remark with silence. It was so tense between us that a knife could cut through it. I wanted to fill the void, to scream and shout and fill the space with the same chaotic noise that haunted my mind.

But it was Erix who spoke next. “Is it a crime to worry about our king and his consort?”

I rolled my shoulders back, taking a moment to put on the mask I imagined a king was expected to wear in an era of joy and peace. “I’m fine, Erix. Imeria is occupying me. Eroan is keeping me up to date on matters.”

Erix silenced me with a glance of his softened silver eyes.

“That wasn’t why I asked, little bird.”

I swallowed the stone in my throat at the use of his nickname for me. There was so much I wanted to say to him, to explain. But, as I told Erix when we last spoke, when he was ready to tell me the truth of what he saw in Duwar’s realm, I too would share mine.

“Please, next time you obtain stores of iron, send word to me. That’s an order, from your king.”

Erix bowed his head, without taking his eyes off me. “I will do as you order, but when the time comes, I will ask why you are in such sudden need for iron, Robin.”

This was his way of giving me extra time to come up with a lie that was actually convincing, proving that he knew something was amiss.

“I didn’t realise a king needs to explain himself to his lords,” I said, hating every ounce of sharpness to my tone.

“A king doesn’t, but a friend does.” Erix won with his reply. “I’m hoping the final dregs of Hunters have been dealt with, but if I catch word of any, you will be the first to know. This peace has been earned, and we all deserve to enjoy it.”

I couldn’t help but feel as though the comment was aimed at me in a specific way.

“Goodbye for now, Erix,” I said, drawing an end to any more conversation.

He looked beyond me, to the gryvern lurking in the shadows of the corridor.

“Maren, would you kindly see King Icethorn back to Imeria?” Erix commanded, voice as steel as the glow of his eyes. “I do prefer our king doesn’t walk around so exposed to the elements.”

“There is no need for that, I can assure you,” I said, but Erix silenced me with a raised hand.

“It’s either Maren or me. You choose. You may be king, Robin. But you made me Lord of Berrow for a reason. When in the borders of Berrow, you are my responsibility just as the lowest-born fey is. That was your mistake, because it puts anyone inside the town under my jurisdiction and protection. My land, my rules.”

“Land that I can quickly take away from you,” I snapped back.

“Which you’ll never do, because the moment I’m free of this responsibility, I’ll be right back by your side, as your personal guard.” Erix forced a smile. He’d won again , and from the mischievous glint in his eyes, he knew it. “Now, Maren. If you would kindly see that Robin is guarded at all times, until he leaves Berrow’s boundaries.”

“Certainly, my lord,” Maren replied, before opening the door, taking my lack of response as confirmation of my defeat. But in truth, I used the time to lock eyes with Erix again. My next question was risky, but I had to ask it. “Why the need for guards, Erix? Do you feel as though there are still threats against me that I should be aware of?”

It was his turn to be shocked into silence. I refused to look away, careful not to miss a single nuance of his reaction that would give away the truth of what thoughts he harboured.

Erix had been the one to enter Duwar’s gate, going after Duncan, who’d been taken inside. He’d refrained from talking about what happened during the minutes they were inside Duwar’s realm. To me, his silence was incriminating. He knew something had happened, but would not tell me what. That was the root of our contention.

“Robin.” Erix took a step toward me but stopped himself from getting too close. “For as long as I live, I will always worry about you. You deserve to enjoy the new world more than anyone I know. Stop hiding in the ruins of your castle, and live. Unless you’re the one who feels as though threats still linger, you need to come out of hiding. Live .”

Live… as if it was that easy. Every day I was just trying to survive beneath my new, haunting burden.

I had asked Erix once before about what he experienced with Duncan in Duwar’s realm, and he’d looked me in the eyes and lied. He’d told me nothing had happened, that he’d found Duncan and gotten him out to safety.

That didn’t explain the scars down Duncan’s chest. It also didn’t explain how every time Duncan stood before a mirror, it was Duwar I saw. Either Erix really didn’t know, or he was lying.

I knew which it was.

The proof that something happened was currently chained and bound by iron to a bed, in Imeria castle, drugged daily with Gardineum, dying slowly because of the parasite inside of him.

“Maren, I have a few more errands to run before leaving Berrow,” I said, turning my attention to the soldier. Her leathery wings twitched at the use of her name, likely calling to the more human side of her than the monster her affliction from Doran Oakstorm had caused. “I’d like to visit the apothecary next. The library after that. Can you escort me there please?”

“Certainly, Your Majesty.”

I cringed at the title, knowing I didn’t deserve it. “But once those errands are complete, and we reach Berrow’s borders, you will leave me. As Erix said, I may be his responsibility on the land I gave him, but beyond the border, I’m the one who gives the commands.”

Maren bowed, but shot a glance to Erix, who must’ve nodded in agreement. “I will do as you command, Your Majesty.”

“Robin will do,” I said, gesturing to the door so we could get out of here.

“Are you in need for more Gardineum then?” Erix questioned.

The reply was thick in my throat. “Pardon?”

“What with the visit to the apothecary, I can only imagine that’s what you are going for. Eroan mentioned you still aren’t sleeping well a few weeks back. I just didn’t realise you still needed the drug to help?”

I felt hot so suddenly, it was as if my blood was Cedarfall rather than Icethorn. “It seems that Eroan needs reminding that gossiping about his king is a punishable offence.” I sounded frigid, just like the element I controlled, hard as ice and as unwelcoming as a winter storm.

“He’s worried about you. Is that worthy of punishment now too?” Erix asked as I stepped back out onto Berrow’s main street. “Overuse of Gardineum can be harmful, not only to your mind but to your body. Although, I’m sure this is nothing Duncan hasn’t already said to you before.”

The Gardineum isn’t for me.

“It sounds like Eroan isn’t the only one who’s worried.” I shot Erix a final look, silently pleading for him to finally tell me the truth so we could shatter this barrier between us.

“I just want you to enjoy the life you sacrificed everything to have.” Erix ran a hand over his chin, fingers tracing the curve of jawline just as I once had. “Just because you dismissed me, doesn’t change what you are. My duty and my–”

“Erix, I’m fine.”

That was just it. Everything I’d sacrificed up until this point had been for nothing. Because the life he believed we had, this new world, was all but an illusion balancing on the edge of a knife.

A knife I held.

And all it would take was for someone to come and look for Duncan to discover why.

Three of the four keys to the demon-god Duwar’s realm had been destroyed, forever closing off our world from his. But the problem was, Duwar wasn’t there like everyone believed. The demon-god was here, in our world, in Wychwood, a stone’s throw away from Berrow itself.

Duwar was Duncan, or Duncan was Duwar. I didn’t know which way round things were. And deep down I believed Erix held answers as to how this transfer between man and demon had happened. Until he was prepared to share, I would deal with this alone. Now was not the time to bring up our last argument when so many others were listening in.

But his inability to be honest with me had led to me grasping at straws. Letters sent to Rafaela went unanswered, books I scoured through for stories on the demon-god who’d seemingly been wiped from our history told me nothing.

“Goodbye, Erix,” I said again, turning my back on him for the last time.

“Wait!” Erix shouted, drawing the attention of the full street of people.

I released a sigh of relief, convincing myself the truth was finally about to come out, that this burden no longer had to be mine to bear alone. But Erix didn’t say anything further before extending a cream envelope with a red-gold wax seal. “This came for you this morning. I was going to give it to Eroan for your next briefing, but I thought I’d do it now. I think it’s the most recent developments from Cassial about his planned celebration.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking the envelope from him, brushing my fingers against his hand. He was so warm, just as I remembered. Against the chill of the street, the falling snow and brisk winds, I craved nothing more than the warmth he could offer – the comfort. “Now, is that all you have to say?”

He withdrew his hand, putting it at his side and flexing his fingers in regret. Or was it disgust? “It is.”

Erix turned and left me. The turmoil inside my body seeped out into the world, encouraging the winter weather to intensify. By the time Maren escorted me to the apothecary, I could hardly see an inch in front of my face. The vendors had closed down their stalls and raced back home to see out the storm of my making.

All the while, the storm I raged within would never calm. Not now, not tomorrow – not whilst I secretly harboured a demon-god of destruction and chaos in my bed, in the body of the man I loved.

This was the life we got after we saved the world from a demon-god. A lie. Where captured fey returned to the Icethorn Court, reclaimed their homes and rebuilt lives in the dawn of a new world – all without knowing that it would come tumbling down if I didn’t find a solution.

I wished, with every fibre of my being, that I could join them. But my world, my life, was left in tatters in my wake. My secrets threatened this very town, court, world – both human and fey.

I collected the bag of dried Gardineum flower, visited the library to find no new tomes had been found or donated about Wychwood’s history, no new stories that could help me understand Duwar. Then I left Berrow, my list of errands barely touched.

Maren did as she was asked, leaving me at the border, not following me any closer to Imeria Castle. Although, from a distance, I certainly felt her eyes trailing me.

Pulling on the reins, I guided Silvia toward my castle’s stables, which had recently been rebuilt outside the half-ruined castle of Imeria. It was a project Eroan kept me informed on, alongside the other rapid changes in the Icethorn Court. He was the only person I allowed to visit me in the ruins of Imeria Castle. He came once a week, with scrolls full of news. Without him, I wouldn’t have known what was happening in the outside world. How the other fey courts were coping after the death of Aldrick – the Hand – and the destruction of Duwar’s gate.

Eroan kept me in touch with reality, while mine was crumbling around me like the ruins of the castle I inhabited.

I hadn’t left the confines of Imeria in almost two months, but today had been different. Eroan had visited me earlier that morning and made mention of a camp of Hunters that had been found on the eastern edge of Icethorn land. I’d sat and listened, fighting to keep my face neutral of my horror as he told me about how the Hunters had claimed an old fey settlement, setting up a base for themselves.

The Hand may’ve been dead, but the poison he left behind would take time to suffocate and shrivel. The Nephilim in Durmain were helping with that, but still more Hunters kept popping up like weeds.

Eroan had been pleased when he confirmed the Hunters been dealt with, the followers of the Hand carted off to Lockinge to await trial by the Nephilim. But that didn’t settle me. Knowledge that they would be punished was not the pleasing news I wanted to hear.

It was what Erix’s – my soldiers – found and collected that had me climbing onto Silvia’s back and heading into the town.

Iron. But returning to Imeria empty handed was terrible. Each inch closer to my horror, and I had to think of more ways to get iron.

I needed it, but I had to be careful with how clear I made that need to others. I couldn’t tell Eroan why without inciting more questions. If that meant I would have to go looking for more iron myself, I would do that. No matter the threat, considering the one I dealt with was more real and dangerous in my eyes.

Iron to keep Duncan powerless.

Gardineum to force him into a sleeping state, all to keep him safe from himself.

I stood before Imeria castle, wishing I could turn away. Run away. All around me, life bloomed. The parts of the castle that had fallen during the Draeic’s attack had been engulfed in life – vines, bright flowers of verdant, purple and yellow – creeping over the ruins.

“ This is what my power can offer you,” Duncan had said when we returned to Imeria, attempting to trick me into trusting the demon inside of him. But no matter how weak I’d become, I wouldn’t listen. But that didn’t mean Duncan’s words didn’t echo in my mind every time I saw what Duwar’s power did to my castle. The life it offered, before I wrapped his body in iron and poisoned his mind with Gardineum.

“ Believe me, Robin .” Duncan had pleaded as I wrapped his body in chains. “You need to listen to me.”

My reply repeated in my mind . “No. This is a trick. You’re playing with me, Duwar. This has nothing to do with listening to Duncan, but listening to you. But I won’t fall for it. Not like Aldrick did. I know what you’re doing, and I refuse to play.”

“Then I will die ,” Duncan had cried . “You’ll kill me, is that what you want?”

There was nothing I could’ve said back to him. Because Duncan was dying. I saw him deteriorate every day. Slowly, as Duwar poisoned him, and there was nothing I could do to save him. Except there was something. I could accept Duwar’s continuous offer. Something that was becoming harder and harder to ignore.