Page 21 of A Game of Monsters (Realm of Fey #4)

I was a weapon. A thoughtless, emotionless void of a creature. I was winter and pain. I might not have held the Icethorn key beneath my bones anymore, my magic could no longer freeze the ocean or turn the sky to ice.

But what I had was enough – I was enough.

And I held nothing back.

It didn’t take much to locate the Nephilim. I followed the raucous sound of laughter, the clinking of tankards and the drunk singing. Seraphine stayed close, her presence my shadow. It was only when we were outside of a door, the room beyond full of off-duty Nephilim, that she finally stopped me.

“Don’t waste your energy on these Nephilim,” she warned. “Because you have an entire guard on deck to deal with next. Be cautious with your attack, stay sensitive to your reserves.”

Hearing her worries aloud only further proved that I wasn’t the powerful wielder of storm and snow that I once was. And yet her concerns were something I’d already contemplated. “I have a plan.”

Seraphine didn’t ask me what it was, but if she had, the answer would’ve been simple.

Revenge. Suffering.

To cause these people the same agony that warred inside of me.

My victims were unaware that death waited outside the door. I was in the lower decks of the ship; and before me was a room occupied by the Nephilim which must’ve been some sort of mess hall. I got a glimpse of the celebration through the circular window in the door. There was a table full of food, tankards full of ale, but more importantly, seats overspilling with winged warriors.

Alcohol tainted the air – lathering my tongue with each inhale.

They celebrated whilst Althea was captured, and Elinor was dead. They drank as though they’d won already.

Oh, how wrong they were.

I grasped the handle of the door. Ice crept over the brass knob, passing up and over the wooden frame until not only the door, but the entire portion of wall was encased in my power. For good measure, I called upon the moisture inside of the lock and froze it solid. Mist hissed into the room, quickly catching my prisoners’ attention. They looked up through frosted glass to see my outline.

That is when their shouts began.

Like living butterflies pinned to cork boards, the Nephilim began to squirm.

Their joyous shouts turned to screams of anger and terror as my winter devoured the room. A carpet of ice swept over the floor, encasing the legs of chairs. Those who were unlucky enough to be standing found themselves frozen up to their waist. The Nephilim in chairs were worse off as flesh and material forged to wood. One of them screamed as they attempted to stand, tearing away the backs of their legs in the process.

I relaxed my power, keeping it to the surface whilst allowing it some rest. Before their shrieks got the attention of the Nephilim above deck, I needed Seraphine to do something.

“Go and free the rest of us who can fight,” I commanded. It was an almost out-of-body experience, to hear the numb emotion in my voice. I imagined what I looked like to Seraphine – someone lost to grief. I wanted to ask who was on that list, which one of my loved ones hung from chains on this very ship – but I feared the answer I would get.

Most of all, I feared that Seraphine would miss out a name from my list.

Knowing Althea was alive was enough, but recognising Elinor Oakstorm – the person that I looked most to as my second chance at having a mother – was dead ruined me.

“I’d prefer to stay with you,” Seraphine said as dust rained down through the panelled ceiling above her. Thunderous footsteps sounded as the Nephilim made their way to us. “It is safer to fight them off before we–”

“Leave,” I replied, managing only one word.

Seraphine regarded me again, looked to the corridor at her back, then back to me. “Are you sure, Robin?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. My body was trembling with unspent desire to cause destruction. I feared if Seraphine stayed close, and the true storm inside of me released, she’d suffer the same fate as the Nephilim.

The part of me I was about to give in to was a place of no control.

“The Nephilim’s strength comes in battle when they’re airborne,” I said, a devious smile pulling at my lips. “What better way to cull the flock, than clipping the little birds’ wings?”

Little bird. Just saying it aloud made me think of Erix. If Elinor died from being crushed by falling stone, how did Erix fare after shielding Duncan and I from the debris?

If I contemplated the outcome too long, I would break apart.

“Survive this first move on the game board, Robin.” Seraphine clutched my arm, drawing me back out of my thoughts. “And good luck.”

My brow furrowed. “I’ll be fine.”

Because no physical pain could compare to the turmoil inside of me.

Seraphine left me, sweeping back into the shadows of the corridor, slithering away to locate my allies. I had just enough time to move myself into a better position to greet the Nephilim. Focusing my intent, I walked carefully to the end of the corridor, nestling myself in the crook beneath the stairs. Just in time, because the door above deck flung open and Nephilim came racing down into the belly of the ship. I counted five of them, and inside of my prison of ice there were almost twenty. That left a handful still unaccounted for, as per Seraphine’s information.

I’d worry about them next.

The Nephilim, wings folded and weapons drawn, turned toward the room of screaming comrades. I slipped from the darkness, following behind them, revealing myself only when they were cornered between the frozen door and me.

In each of them, I saw Cassial. No matter their physical differences, they were all the same. Angelic warriors meant to disarm us, make the world trust them with their ringlet curls, bright eyes, feathered wings and the promise of a new world.

It was all a lie. All of it.

And Elinor Oakstorm was dead because of them.

My power didn’t need encouragement to leave me. Before the first Nephilim could turn around and find me behind them, I released it.

Roaring winds ripped down the corridor, blasting the five warriors in their backs. One was forced into the frozen door, the others smashing into the walls around it. I smiled as one of my enemies yelled out for help as half his face was left stuck to the frozen door, dripping blood quickly crystalising.

I wanted them all to scream.

I searched for moisture, anything I could find. In the air, on their bodies, even liquid inside of them – and whatever my power touched, I turned to solid ice.

Screams died on lips, turning to puffs of mist as my magic reached deep inside of their bodies and overcame them. I forced my way into every possible orifice, filling mouths, ears and eyes. Then, as their skin turned to fragile ice, their veins hardening, I weighed their hearts down with ice, cracking them with my power, just as my own had splintered in my chest.

I grabbed the neck of one of the Nephilim, fragile, glass-like skin beneath my grasp. They looked up at me with haunting fear clinging to wide eyes, face a mess of blood and ruin. One jolt, one harsh squeeze was all it would take for me to kill them. It took effort not to give into that dark desire… not yet at least.

“Answer my question and you will live to see another day,” I spat.

The Nephilim broke into snivels and whimpers, aware that their friends and allies lay around us in chunks of smattered flesh. “Any – anything.”

“Is Althea Cedarfall alive?” I knew the answer but required confirmation from the beast’s mouth. Jesibel, as much as I hoped she’d walked into my dream, it was still up for debate. But this Nephilim beneath my grasp could confirm my hopes and fears with a single word.

My fingers dug deeper, as if clawing the answer out.

“Yes,” they panted. “Althea Cedarfall is – is with the – Saviour.” Their expression changed from fear to hate, lip curling, teeth bared. “And he will destroy–”

Magic burst from beneath my hand, encasing the Nephilim’s head in my power. All it took was one harsh tug, and their neck tore free, the head tumbling off their shoulders from the lack of support. Their spine had become fragile beneath my magic, breaking like a twig to stone as it tumbled onto the death-ridden floor.

“That’s for Althea .” I forced out my words, knowing that the five warriors didn’t hear them because they were already dead.

I turned my back on the corpses, flexing my hand at my side. I left the weakening Nephilim beyond the door to slowly perish in the low temperatures inside the room, with nothing but the view of death outside of their little window. My focus was elsewhere, my power all-consuming, still begging for more torment.

I wouldn’t remember walking to the deck of the ship. My legs moved of their own accord, my mind lost to thoughts of my friend – her poppy-red hair, sarcastic quips, beautiful smile and eyes once full of life.

Such wonderful details now in the hands of someone with the power to ruin them.

Cassial killed Elinor like she was nothing; what was to say Althea’s end would not be the same?

As I stepped out into the bright glare of light, I lifted a hand to my brow. In the shadow my hand made, I made out the remaining winged warriors. Some stood on deck, others flew in the sky as our ship continued its path through the unsettled sea.

All it took was one of them noticing me, covered in the blood of their allies, and they all sprang to action. They called out something, rallying each other for a battle they believed would be easy to win. But what they didn’t account for was my lack of care. I had none of it. There was nothing left inside of me.

I stood still, giving myself to the remaining dregs of my power, trusting it would protect me by instinct.

The first two Nephilim nosedived down, golden blades drawn, reflecting light across my face in attempts to blind me. I closed my eyes, the spray of waves cresting over the ship’s rail and soaking me from my side. As the next wave came, I grasped the salt-spray, froze the water to bullets and cast them skyward.

With my eyes closed, I didn’t see the damage I unleashed as frozen magic sprayed outwards in an arch. But I heard it. Wings tore beneath pelting ice, flesh ripping apart. Then there was the tell-tale thump of two bodies landing on either side of me, cracking wood beneath the force.

I opened my eyes in time to watch the edge of a sword swing toward my neck. I welcomed it, wondering if the blade would hurt as much as the crushing weight of stone. Did Elinor feel pain when she died, or was it instant? Would Althea’s demise be swift, or prolonged to cause those who loved her equal amounts of agony?

No matter the answer, I would make these Nephilim feel her suffering tenfold. My misery alone would kill them.

Sidestepping the blade, I swept my hand, fingers dragging through the thickening air. Spikes of ice and blood rose upwards, piercing through the Nephilim’s side. In through their stomach, then up at an angle, the sharp points revealed themselves through the soft flesh of the Nephilim’s neck.

I lost count of the number of Nephilim I killed. But I knew it wasn’t enough. Just as I quickly gave up the final dregs of energy, my magic was spent. As the final three Nephilim charged toward me, I couldn’t so much as conjure a blast of ice-cold winds.

I bent down, collected the golden blade from the pierced and slumped corpse of the Nephilim. Wielding it high, I faced the onslaught and smiled with blood coating my teeth.

“Come on,” I screamed, like some feral beast, spittle flying past numb lips. “Come get me!”

If this was my end, I would go knowing my loved ones would meet me in the afterlife. But before that, I had a few more people to take with me.

My lessons with Erix came back, my muscle memory overtaking my numb body. I countered the first swing of a blade, knocking it back then sweeping mine outwards. It nicked across armour, the song of metal against metal screeching. I ducked, feet slipping over frozen blood, just in time to miss another jab. That was the thing about the Nephilim: their imposing bodies and proud wings made fighting side by side impossible. They could only attack one at a time, but they did so with honed training.

Heavy, continuous sweeps of their blades kept me on my knees. They were playing with me. Keeping me down, weakening my arms. I had to hold the blade with both hands, the muscles in my shoulders screaming against their force.

A desperate cry ripped out of my throat, all the while I refused to look away. On and on they attacked, smashing the full force of their strength down atop my blade. Each hit reverberated up my arm, making my bones ache. But those attacks suddenly stopped as another sound responded to my cry.

A roar. Deep from the gut of the ship, so powerful it shook the very foundations of the wooden frame.

My mind pieced together exactly what that sound promised, and it was my turn to grin up at the Nephilim, sensing the tides of victory shifting.

Gyah Eldrae was coming.

I knew that was who Seraphine had freed first. Just as she used my reaction to Elinor’s death as a weapon, she must’ve told Gyah about Althea. Whatever the answer, it would not be Gyah who helped finish our enemies.

It would be the monster beneath her skin.

Before the three Nephilim could react, the floor beneath them splintered, and the body of a black-scaled, winged beast thrust skywards. In the jaws of an Eldrae, a Nephilim was dragged upwards. I heard the crunch of bone, the tearing of flesh and snapping of wings. Blood rained from a clear sky as Gyah flew up and up, her serpentine body twisting, talons racking the bodies apart as she devoured the remaining Nephilim one by one.

They attempted to fly away, but no matter how they tried, Gyah was faster.

Intestines fell down, smattering the deck of the ship like sun-bleached ropes. Feathers fell slowly, like snow, covering the death and destruction.

My neck ached as I sat slumped on the deck, looking up as Gyah moved with vicious but organised momentum.

It seemed to last an age before Gyah landed back on the deck of the ship. Her tail flicked back and forth, her gargantuan neck moving side to side, searching for more revenge. Her roars of ferocity became a whimpering sound from within her blood-stained maw. Then she settled two golden eyes on me, bowed her snout and released a world-shattering roar before my face.

As her foul breath washed over me, I dared not move. I faced the Eldrae, recognising her agony as it echoed within me. My adrenaline left me like the racing tide. Gyah’s Eldrae form melted away, black smoke catching in the winds, leaving behind a slumped figure. She was on all fours, back heaving as she panted. Braids whipped in the winds. I almost didn’t hear what she was repeating, until I crawled to her and gathered her in my arms.

“Althea. My Althea.” She cocked her head back. “My wife!”

If I wasn’t broken by the revelation before, I was utterly shattered now. In pieces. Gyah slumped into my arms, each of our bodies holding the other up. I didn’t dare cry as I consoled her. My grief would wait. In this moment, I needed to be her crutch.

“They killed her, Robin!” Gyah screeched to the skies as if she had the power to rip it apart. “They killed my Althea!”

I reached for her, clasping firm hands to her trembling arms.

“Althea is alive, Gyah.” The truth rushed out of me; I only hoped it was strong enough to cut through her grief and make her believe me. “Jesibel… she dream-walked and confirmed. I – the Nephilim confirmed it too. Althea is alive…”

Gyah paused momentarily, looking for someone behind me. “The Asp, she told me that Althea was dead.”

Discomfort twisted in my gut. I knew the reason behind Seraphine’s lie, it was a way to turn Gyah into a weapon, and it had worked.

Althea was in the hands of the enemy. I could only imagine the feeling of losing Duncan and my body would want to implode. Then I thought of Erix, losing him, and the feeling intensified.

“She is not dead, I promise.” I had nothing but the words of Jesibel to believe, and the confirmation of the Nephilim I’d interrogated. That had to account for something. “We will save her.”

Gyah fixed golden eyes on me, boring through my soul. “Captured and held by Cassial is no better than death. It… it is worse.”

“I know,” I said, laying my chin on Gyah’s head as she rocked back and forth in my arms. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

My betrayal, my lies and my deceit, all of it had led to this.

“Althea!” Gyah bellowed, only capable of speaking one word. Then her voice dove to the deepest pits of tone and she growled another name. “Cassial.”

Gyah roared it to the skies, demanding in every syllable of the name, as if she commanded the gods to return her love to her.

No one answered.

“He will suffer for what he has done.” I refused to let her go. I wouldn’t – not now, not ever. I swept my gaze over the ruin around us, the splintered, blood-soaked wood, torn bodies and ice. All of it, and it just wasn’t enough. Whether or not I had the power in me to destroy them all, I would find a way.

Neither of us heard the footsteps until a large shadow passed over us. I looked up into the faces of two men. Bright verdant eyes beside a gaze of polished silver.

For a second, the ability to breathe failed me.

Erix had Duncan held at his side, an arm wrapped around his shoulders. Both men hobbled out of the ship’s belly, squinting against the light, skin coated in dust and wounds. And I wanted nothing more than to turn to them and allow them to console me.

“Oh, my darling,” Duncan said, sorrow painted across his handsome face. He drew away from Erix, his gaze falling on him for a beat longer than normal. Then he slipped to the ground and wrapped his arms around me. As his arms encased me, I didn’t let go of Gyah.

The three of us held one another. Comfort came in the form of our connection, but something was missing – someone was missing. I looked up to Erix who watched on. I could see in the lines of his face that he shared the grief but also something else. Relief. It was relief in finding me alive.

So, I extended my hand to him and gave him a command. “Come.”

And Erix did. He knelt before us, wings shifting to give room. Then he put an arm around Duncan, another around me and lowered his forehead to mine. Erix tensed against the storm of emotion. I could see he was equally as broken over the news about Althea. And still he had it in him to offer me the strength with calm, collected words. “I am here, little bird.”

I closed my eyes as Gyah’s sobs quietened and Duncan’s breathing matched pace with mine.

“You always are,” I replied, aware of the comfort he offered me but also feeling as though I didn’t deserve it.

Erix’s exhalation washed over me. “And I always will be.”

When I heard more footsteps, I lifted my face out of our bundle of bodies to see two more people step out of the stairway. Seraphine came first, hands clasped before her.

“That is everyone accounted for,” Seraphine said, sorrow drawing at her thin brow. “No one else is on board, only the dead.”

I swallowed the bile down, looking around the small band. Someone was missing – a person who had been with us in the church. It wasn’t until the second shadow behind Seraphine parted, and stood in the light, that I saw them.

Rafaela.

Relief rose its head, before shattering like glass to stone as Gyah released a vicious snarl.

Gyah uncoiled from us, standing tall as she cleared the tears from her cheeks with a blood-coated hand. Her gaze settled on Rafaela, and the sound she emitted was a promise from the Eldrae lurking beneath her skin. “ You did this.”

Seraphine positioned her body in front of Rafaela, who stopped her with the sweep of a hand.

“You are right, Gyah,” Rafaela said, refusing to break eye contact with her. “In part, this is my doing. And there will never be enough words to share just how sorry I am for the price paid for my deceptions, but I assure you, I am on your side. I have always been on your side. Everything I have done is to work against the Fallen.”

Rafaela hobbled a step forwards, wincing as the dirty material drew across the twin wounds on her back, where wings once were. She gazed over us, drinking in the weakness and grief.

“I think it is time you tell us everything,” I said, wanting nothing more than to stay in the arms of Duncan and Erix, but knowing that we didn’t have the luxury of time to waste. “And I mean everything, Rafaela.”

She bowed her head, unable to hold my gaze. “I intend to. But first we must ensure the ship stays on course for its destination.”

“What we need to do is turn back,” Gyah growled, the whites of her eyes now stained red.

“Not yet–”

“Cassial has Althea,” Gyah screamed, voice twisted with the creature inside of her. “I will not wait another moment before I skin the fucking flesh off his bones.”

“All in good time, Gyah,” Rafaela said, hands raised before her. “Althea is safe for as long as Cassial believes we have all made it to Irobel and faced the imprisonment he ensured for us. If he catches wind that we are alive, Althea will go from comfortable captive to a tool used to torture us. So, we must gather ourselves beforehand. We are in no state to go against an army of the Fallen. Cassial will face the judgement he deserves, just not yet.”

“I won’t wait…” Gyah bent over, clutching her chest as a wave of physical pain overcame her. Erix released me and moved for her, offering his body as a pillar to lean on. No one spoke until Gyah had the energy to finish her sentence. “I must save her.”

Rafaela took a careful step forwards, a soft hand lying upon Gyah’s back. “I promise, Gyah, you will. But only when we are ready. Cassial is currently the host of Duwar, stand in his way, and he will ruin you before you get the chance to act. It is imperative that we first recoup, gather our numbers and return when we have the strength to go against him.”

“We are alone in this fight,” I reminded her. “The humans hate us. The fey are scattered, and the Nephilim were never on our side–”

Rafaela snapped her eyes to me, the seriousness in them had the power to silence me. “Not all of the Nephilim believed in Cassial’s plans. The Fallen have ruled long enough. I didn’t believe in him, nor did Gabrial. But there are plenty more who have gone against the Creator, just as I once told you. And it is those souls who will help us.”

“Who?” I spat.

“The Faithful,” Rafaela answered. “My sisters and brothers, a slumbering army that we will rally together. But for that, we must reach Irobel. Either we turn back now weak and broken, or return with a power that even Cassial will struggle against.”

Fallen. Faithful. Titles that were new to me and made little sense.

“Why should we trust you?” Erix asked the question we were all likely thinking. “Continuing to Irobel is what Cassial wanted. The land of the Nephilim – home to our enemy.”

“There is much I need to explain,” Rafaela said. “A web of lies and betrayal that must be untangled if we are to hope to put a stop to Cassial’s regime. But for that, you must understand the truth. Starting with Duwar .”

“The demon-god,” I said, looking at Duncan, who had been uncomfortably quiet this entire time. Although his eyes had never left me, his hand never straying far from me. It shocked me when it was Duncan who replied on Rafaela’s behalf.

“Duwar is not a god, nor is it a demon,” Duncan rasped, voice monotone, so weak the winds almost caught it from his lips and snatched it away. I had heard him, we all had, as clear as day.

His forest eyes fixed to mine, a deep-rooting regret lingering behind them.

“Duncan is right,” Rafaela said.

Discomfort bubbled up through me. “Are you saying this to make me feel a type of way about refusing to believe it?”

“No, darling,” Duncan started, but broke into a barrage of coughs.

Rafaela continued for him. “You are not to blame for your disbelief, Robin. We have manipulated your perspective of Duwar to think it was evil, to see it for what we wanted you to see it. That is only something I can take responsibility for.”

I faced Duncan, drinking in his face, his body – aware just how weak he looked because of my treatment of him. “Is this true? I don’t understand.”

He lifted a shaking hand and traced his fingers down the side of my face. There was so much he wanted to say, weeks’ worth of unspoken words. “Yes. Duwar is corrupted, but to no fault of their own. Years of solitude in that realm broke it, twisted it… but at the root… Duwar is power.”

“ I am power ,” I said, drawing on the words that had played over in my mind since Duwar had said them using Duncan’s mouth.

Duncan blinked, and I found myself missing those eyes with fever. “Duwar is a source to be drawn upon. A power that Altar and the Creator warred over, tricked for, played a game to harness and control.”

I shook my head, dragging up the reasons why Duncan was wrong. “But I saw Duwar. Their reflection. Duwar is a demon, and it used you to–”

“Duwar did not use me in the sense you think,” Duncan said, dropping his hand from my face. I found myself leaning into thin air, wishing he would touch me again. It was all I craved – but then I looked to Erix and reminded myself of the line I’d crossed in Lockinge.

Rafaela saved me from my thoughts, by finishing Duncan’s revelation for him. “But Cassial will use Duwar, the source of chaos and power, to bring an end to the fey. He has the power behind him. And Althea will not be the only one to die if we act before we are ready.”

“If Cassial wanted Althea dead, she would be.” I knew it, deep down, as if someone whispered the truth into my ear. “He needs her…”

Gyah’s lips curled over teeth. “Exactly why we must turn back for Wychwood now.”

“We will, I promise.” Rafaela’s eyes turned north, out toward the endless sea. “But Robin is right. Cassial will need a fey once his body is not compatible for the power source. She is safer with him, as much as I know it is hard to believe that, it is true. No harm will come to Althea as long as Cassial wishes to utilise Duwar.”

Duncan nodded to himself as if agreeing. “What is it you… suggest, Rafaela?”

“First, I must return home. There is something I must see through to give us a chance in this battle.”

“Hand us over to the Nephilim waiting there?” Erix asked, a growl edging his words.

Rafaela shook her head, braids catching in the harsh winds, whipping them like snakes around her tired face. “The only Nephilim left on Irobel are those imprisoned in labradorite, which is exactly the reason why you all were being sent there. The same ritual Robin wished for information on…”

“All this because the gods warred for power,” I spoke my thoughts aloud.

“Power that belonged to neither… of them,” Duncan said, still struggling in his weakened state.

“You are both correct. This is a war of the gods’ puppets,” Rafaela said. “One that has been in play for too many years to imagine. A being, like Duwar, is very much determined by perspective. One’s monster is another’s Saviour. Look at Cassial; his actions determine he is the worst of us all, and yet people still follow him.”

“Blindly,” I added, pushing to standing as my thoughts raced with all the half-truths Rafaela had shared previously with me. “You told me that the Nephilim bound in labradorite were there because they believed in Duwar, they wanted to use the demon – the power source. Was that more lies?”

“Lies, yes. But lies to protect you,” Rafaela said. “All said in good faith.”

That was something I could relate to.

“Look how that turned out,” Gyah growled. “With Althea captured, Elinor Oakstorm dead, the world in the hands of your people.”

“The Fallen are not my people. They are Nephilim who forgot their way a long time ago.” A storm passed behind Rafaela’s eyes, and for a moment I saw the power in her again. A focus. A fiery determination that dwindled the light of any belief. When she spoke again, it was with a clear voice of authority, the same that I had last heard when we fought beside each other. “But the Faithful, we will help you, just as Gabrial prophesied. And I swear that I will help right these wrongs. Be it on my life, Cassial will fall.”

“On your life,” Gyah spat, vicious tears streaking down her face. “I will hold you to that.”

“I know, Gyah Eldrae.” Rafaela faced each and every one of us. “Now, shall we take this conversation to more comfortable lodgings? Irobel is a day at most away. Before we reach the boundary of the isles, it is best you understand the truth. All of it. Starting with the previous Game of Monsters and how we will prevent it from occurring again–”

“Not yet,” I interrupted, eyes fixed to my boots.

My distress must have been obvious, because both Duncan and Erix called for me at the same exact moment.

“Darling.”

“Little bird.”

I felt as though I was seconds from combusting.

I lifted my gaze, aware that everyone was looking at me. In the face of chaos and disorder, I found myself most comfortable when taking control. So that is what I did.

“Gyah,” I said, facing my friend, reading the agony in her face like the lines of a recently written obituary. “There is currently a room below full of Nephilim who may be dead, or may still be hanging onto life. If the cold hasn’t killed them, do you feel up to extracting some information from them about the state of Durmain and Wychwood? Maybe insight into Cassial’s immediate plans, knowledge into where he is keeping Althea and for what purpose?”

It was wrong of me to ask Gyah to do anything, but she was not the type to simmer in anxiety and do nothing. She found comfort in action, and the promise of more vengeance. From the spark of light in her eyes, I knew I was right.

“I will not be long,” Gyah said as focus took over her mind. “If you hear screams, ignore them. They won’t belong to me.”

I pitied the Nephilim who may have survived my magic. They wouldn’t be so lucky after facing Gyah.

“Rafaela,” I said, her name lodging in my throat. “You can help clear the ship of the dead. Feed their flesh to the ocean dwellers for all I care.” I found it hard to hold her eyes, knowing that the lies she’d revealed still had more lies beneath them.

Rafaela gritted her teeth. I waited for her refusal, but it never came.

“I will help her,” Seraphine added quickly, which translated to ‘ I don’t trust Rafaela, so I will keep a close eye on her’ .

Not to my surprise, Rafaela agreed.

I looked to Duncan, my heart lodged in my throat. He was alive, freed of Duwar, but the price had been great on him. But after losing Elinor, the raw pain of it, I couldn’t bear to imagine if it was Duncan who’d died.

Or Erix.

I turned to Erix, drinking in his straight posture, his ever-present concern for me evident in the way he winced as if I was glass moments from breaking. And I knew, more than ever before, that I couldn’t live without either of them.

“We need to talk,” I said to them both.

There was guilt I had to bare before we could continue.

“Go and be with Duncan.” Erix bowed out, stepping back as if he hadn’t noticed that the ‘we’ included him too. “I will make sure Gyah is okay with her endeavours.”

I opened my mouth to explain myself further, but Duncan beat me to it.

“Erix,” Duncan said, voice as weak as he looked. “Robin means for you to join us.”

At that, Erix fixed his eyes on Duncan. The muscles in his jaw feathered. Although, I’d be a fool not to notice the softness to Erix’s edges as he took in the man at my side.

“The three of us? Talking?” Erix laughed awkwardly. “What could possibly matter enough when the world is crumbling around us?”

“He does,” Duncan said, nodding at me. “Robin matters, which you agree and cannot dispute. So, we shall talk.”

I swallowed my reservations and panic.

Finding even the open air suffocating, I fought the sudden urge to walk away. But I’d never get far, not with the ties from both these men always anchoring me. “Yes, Erix. It’s time we have the conversation whilst we have the time.”

Erix didn’t ask me what I meant. He knew. We all did.

Perhaps it was Althea’s capture that triggered this confidence in me. It reminded me what I had to lose. And like Gyah, I’d devour the flesh of any being who took either Duncan or Erix from me.

Before our group departed, it was Gyah who added the final sentiment. “And when we are all back together, I would like to know how you are alive.” She pointed to Seraphine, whose lips curled into a smile.

“Once an Asp, always an Asp, Gyah Eldrae,” Seraphine replied. “And by Altar, do I have a story for you.”

Seraphine looked from me to Duncan and back to Gyah. If there was one conversation I dreaded having, it was what happened when Duncan and I returned to Imeria. But it was time for pointless secrets to no longer stay buried.

But first, there was one secret that was eating me alive. And that involved me, Erix, the balcony and a kiss.