Page 25 of A Game of Monsters (Realm of Fey #4)

Even beneath the blanket of night, Irobel’s heavy, warm air was insufferable. I sat upon a wicker chair, digging my fingers into the knots of twine as I looked out across the island void of life. My eyes fixed on the reflection of the moon across the ocean’s calm surface, because looking at anything else made this wait unbearable. No matter where I found my eyes falling, I thought of Duncan. Short storms rolled in quickly but left even quicker. Lightning flashed in the distance, speckled amongst thick clouds, only to pass on. In the moments after the lashing of rain, it gave the air some reprieve. But alas, the comfort didn’t last.

Every now and then I’d catch Erix out the corner of my eye, dressed in a loose linen tunic which hung to his chest, tied over one shoulder. I supposed a positive about being in Irobel was that most of the clothing was made for creatures with wings.

Erix barely removed his attention from me. If it wasn’t for his encouragement, I wouldn’t have drunk the water provided or touched the plate of fresh fruits that had been picked by Seraphine for us to feast on.

Grapes, Seraphine had explained, a strange, small fruit that were sour to chew and coated in a thick skin. Tart orange slices that tasted more savoury than sweet. I could only manage a handful before sickness gripped my stomach.

Without Duncan beside me, I felt so alone. But the reality was I was surrounded by the people I loved.

Gyah was sitting by the door, gaze fixed to the wall, mind lost to her loss. I couldn’t imagine how she felt, waiting for news on Duncan’s second chance at life, while Althea’s life was in the hands of a murderous zealot. Just the thought alone tore me up from the inside.

Seraphine kept herself busy too. A pile of books sat beside her, each ‘borrowed’ from the library she stumbled upon as she mentally mapped out the island and what was on it.

Once an Asp, always an Asp.

The texts were handwritten, likely biased accounts written by Nephilim over the years. I didn’t have it in me to ask what she was researching, or even to care. I did, however, wonder if those texts had been touched by Duncan’s birth mother. Were her stories inked onto those pages?

Every detail led back to him .

I practically held my breath as I waited for Rafaela to return with an update on Duncan’s fate. But as the hours passed, dusk tumbling into the dead of night, I found that the only thing with the power to occupy my mind was home .

What state would the realms be in upon our return? Who else would be taken from this world, joining Althea in capture or Elinor in death?

If I had it in me to sleep, perhaps I would dream of Jesibel and find news. But every time I closed my eyes, I saw Duncan drowning in those cobalt waters.

“ The Transfiguration success rate is rather high,” Seraphine spoke, hardly looking up from the tome in her hand. “And can you believe the Nephilim have been taking humans from Durmain for generations? There is even a section in this book that mentions a festering sickness that swept across Irobel, leading to the demise of multiple Nephilim. With their numbers low, they were desperate for newer recruits – focusing on religious leaders in Durmain who continued the spreading of the Creator’s belief. So the angels from religious stories show up, say that the Creator has a task for them, trick humans into coming here to be ‘changed’ and then ta-da, more winged warriors.”

I hadn’t told them about Duncan’s truth – it wasn’t fair they knew before him. So, I kept my mouth shut, knowing the twisted truth of the prophecy and what it made people like Rafaela and Cassial do.

No one replied to Seraphine. I tried to force up a sound to at least acknowledge I heard her, but my voice cracked and that made Erix jolt toward me as if something was wrong. Seraphine didn’t notice, filling the awkward silence with more findings from her reading.

“I have found some more information about the binding of Nephilim in labradorite as well.” She lifted her gaze and settled it upon me for a beat. “They called it the Severing. Severing a Nephilim from the Creator, by binding them in labradorite stone, and believe it or not, it is our dearest Rafaela who discovered it. No mention of a reversal, but if she is confident that it can be done, she would be the one to know.”

I stretched my gaze out across the ocean again. There was a small island just off the coast of the one we stayed upon. Its jagged rockface was lined with the statues of bound Nephilim. To the naked eye, no one would believe they were anything but figures carved from stone. The truth was darker. And this was the promise of our army, a chance to save the world from Cassial and his use of Duwar. And yet we were wasting time trying to save Duncan – one soul – instead of an entire realm of people. Was that where my priorities lay? My small world, not the one around me?

No one suggested as much, but it was all I thought about.

It went on like this for a while. The room simmering in silence, only broken when Seraphine found something else to share.

“This tome explains that when Altar stole the power source of the realms, which was soon after named Duwar, it left behind an endless black chasm in the far north of what is now Wychwood.” Seraphine turned the book around so we could see the pages, and on it was a sketch of a familiar map of land. “Look here.”

I did, narrowing my eyes on the location. “Is that…”

“The Sleeping Depths,” Gyah answered for me. It was the lake we had visited all those months ago, when Althea’s brother Orion had died at the hands of a Hunter. “That would explain why nothing that enters the waters of that lake survives.”

Because Altar stole the power of the world and used it for his own gain. There had to be a price to pay, and that was what we knew as the Sleeping Depths. I remembered how no light reflected off the waters, and how eerily quiet it was as if the lake repelled anything natural.

“… with desperate hands, Altar took something which never belonged to him. And with it he used the power of chaos and life, weaving it amongst his creations, giving them access to powers that no mortal deserved to hold .” Seraphine paused, her fingers lingering on the sentence she was reading. “There is further comment on how the Creator willed his powerless humans to hunt down any powered fey and cast them into the abyss of nothingness, thus removing them from ever being a threat. But it was years later when the fey moved into the realm now known as Wychwood, but at this time there was no border. Do you see.”

As she turned the book around again, nail pointing toward the map, a sound of footsteps rose beyond the closed door.

Heart in my throat, I stood before it opened. All thoughts of fey, gods and death-filled lakes left my mind in an instant.

Rafaela stood beneath the arched entrance to the room, puffing slightly from her rushed visit. Her eyes found mine and held them. “Duncan lives.”

Something was missing in Rafaela’s admission. Like a ‘but’ or ‘for now’. I sensed it, read it in the silence of her abrupt stop.

I couldn’t move. I didn’t make a sound. I worried it would break this illusion and the real truth would catch up to me.

Erix closed into my side, offering his strong body as a frame for me to lean into. His presence alone gave me the strength to force a few words out.

“Can we… see him?” I asked, knowing I spoke for two people, no longer just one.

“Yes, but only if you are careful. The Transfiguration will still take time to complete. For now, Duncan has spiritually survived the Creator’s will; we must now wait for his body to catch up, so to say.” Rafaela looked exhausted, but even through it she didn’t stop smiling. Hope glimmered in her bright eyes, making them almost shine like they were filled with tears. “I only ask that you allow him to… wake when he is ready.”

“What do you mean?” I said, the question changing Rafaela’s demeanour in a flash. Suddenly her smile faltered. Rafaela’s hands wrung together, eyes downcast to the floor, shoulders hunched. “If he lives, he has been successful, no?”

“It is not as clear cut as that.”

It was Seraphine who added more context. “According to this text, the final step of the Transfiguration is some sort of metamorphosis of the physical body. The Creator accepts the soul as worthy, but the body must always complete the change.”

I knew what she meant. I’d seen and fought against enough Nephilim to know their bodies, and how different they were. I hadn’t contemplated how Duncan would survive this, forever changed.

Would he be the same man I knew, or different in ways that go far beyond his flesh? Either way, it was his soul I loved. Put it in the shell of a beast, and my views of him wouldn’t change.

“We would like to see him,” I said, already taking the necessary steps toward Rafaela, Erix following like a shadow. “If he is going to wake up – when he wakes – I want us to be the people there to greet him.”

“Of course,” Rafaela bowed, clutching the doorframe for support. “Just be cautious, that is all I ask.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to thank her, but until I saw Duncan breathing and the world freed from Cassial and Duwar’s threat, I would keep my lips sealed. Superstition weighed heavy on me, but that didn’t stop Rafaela from recognising my emotions when she caught my eye.

“You have worked valiantly,” Erix said to Rafaela as we passed, his brow softening over tired eyes. “For that there will not be enough thanks that would suffice.”

Rafaela bowed, a sombre smile flickering at the corners of her lips. As I got past her, she grasped my arm, fingers pinching into my skin. “Erix, what you find in that room will be a shock to you both.”

“As long as he survives, I don’t care–”

“No, Robin. I didn’t mean a shock for you,” Rafaela released me, parting from the door to allow room for me to pass. “I’m referring to Duncan. When he wakes, the world will be different for him. I ask that you are careful with him. Give him time to adjust.”

“Time,” I choked on the word. “It’s not exactly a luxury we have.”

When we returned to the ceremony room, Duncan was no longer in the pool of sacred water. The first thing I noticed was that he was missing, and my heart skipped a beat, panic seizing my lungs immediately. If it wasn’t for Erix gesturing away from the pool, I might’ve screamed so loud it would have woken every stone-bound Nephilim on the island.

“It’s okay, little bird. Look. Duncan is still with us.”

I followed Erix’s finger and took in the almost impossible view before me.

Hanging from a gelatinous stem on the ceiling was a pod. It wasn’t the outline of a body, but a shapeless formation of wet yet solid material. My mind went to the cocoon of a caterpillar, except this dripped as though the Creator’s tears had coagulated into a mass that held its shape, whilst dripping pools of bright blue water onto the stone floor.

I stepped free of Erix’s shadow, feet squelching over the thickened liquid. The evening breeze continued to blow against the many brass bells, filling the space with a light tune. But there was another sound to accompany it. The definite thump of a heart.

Duncan’s heart.

To prove my sanity, I laid a hand on the outer shell of the pod, and through it I felt Duncan’s strong beat echo against my palm.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

It was my Duncan, loud and strong – his beat as proud as I remembered it.

I trailed my hand over the wet pod, wondering if Duncan was conscious within. Could he feel me? Sense me? My fingers came back webbed with slime, but I didn’t care.

I leaned in close to the scentless material and whispered. “I’m here, Duncan. And I swear to any god, I won’t leave you again.”

“Rafaela said to wait for him to wake in his own time,” Erix said, closing the door, sealing us in the room together. “I didn’t imagine this was what she was referring to.”

I could barely understand what she meant, and I was stood looking at it. Like the transformation of a weak creature into a beautiful butterfly, I could only imagine what was happening to Duncan. As much as I wanted to claw my way through the pod to reach him, deep down, I knew better than to do that.

I was toying with a pawn of a god, a player on a game board. The unknown was frightening, yes. But when the unknown was in relation to the man you loved, it was world-shattering.

Erix walked in from behind me. His hand found its way atop mine, resting so we were both connected to Duncan’s cocoon. My heart swelled in my chest, so large my ribs ached. Seeing his hand splayed on mine, pressing against the strange shell encasing Duncan, filled my soul with a sense of calm.

“Do you think he knows we’re here?” I asked, the words echoing around the chamber.

“I think he will always know when you are close,” Erix replied. “It is impossible not to.”

I dropped my hand, forcing his to come with me. I turned and faced Erix, leaving my back to the cocoon. “He’ll be happy you’re with me too. Duncan, I mean. Your presence is important to him: I know that, as do you.”

Their private conversation replayed in the back of my mind, warming my soul from the inside out.

Erix swallowed, a smile creeping at the corners of his mouth. “I do.”

We were so close to one another, Erix had to look down at me where he stood. He lifted a finger and traced it down the curve of my cheek, sending shivers across every inch of my skin. “Duncan has two reasons to get better and see this through to the end. Then he can tell us exactly how much he cares for us himself.”

I shivered but the feeling wasn’t unpleasant. My thoughts, although frantic and unorganised, seemed to go back to something I hadn’t had time to think about in the moment. “There is something I need to admit to you.”

I hoped Duncan really could hear me as well.

“Tell me,” Erix encouraged softly.

Stealing myself, I refused to look away when I spoke again. “When you went to check on Duncan, I heard you speaking. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I did, and I admit it.”

“Then you know what we spoke about,” Erix said plainly.

“I know,” I said, hearing the words repeat in my mind. “Me. I mean us, the three of us.”

The kiss of fingers melted into the soft caress of a palm against the side of my face. Erix released a sigh, followed by the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen. “The conversation was brief,” he explained. “Duncan reiterated his reasoning behind wanting me with you. He truly believed his end was near, and he seemed content knowing you would not be alone if death came for him. But that wasn’t all. I think even Duncan sensed a hope that if he was to survive, his desires going forwards would be the same. The three of us. Me, you and him.”

“Together,” I added. “Not just for the present, but for the future too.”

Erix bowed his head. “Duncan has had time to contemplate this path forwards, but I had to ask him why. Why he feels as though he can share you with another person, when the thought of that has never crossed my mind until now. I knew there was a reason, something he wasn’t telling us. And it was because he knew he was dying. I understand now. He loves you so much, he cannot fathom to leave the world knowing you would be alone in it.”

Duncan knew that I had Erix, and that if he were to die, it would be with the peaceful knowledge that Erix would still be by myside. And yet, something still didn’t make sense to me about that.

“Duncan is a man of his word, Erix.”

“As am I,” Erix replied, dropping his hand and stepping back.

“Care to further that statement?”

He lifted his silver eyes over my shoulder and laid them on Duncan’s shell. “I realised that Duncan never planned to share you. That wasn’t what he meant.”

“Because he thought he was dying?”

Erix shook his head, fixing his gaze back to mine. “No. His offer was not solely born from a place of worry that he was going to be taken from you. It was made from the hope that, if given another chance, he simply wishes for the man he loves to be happy. To be whole. At least, those were his words.”

I did want those things. But the same went for Erix. If it was Erix in Duncan’s shoes, taking his path, I would have reacted the same. I knew that. The fear I harboured at the idea of losing either of them made me sick to my core.

“Duncan knows me well,” I said, finding that it was all I could get out. “As well as his own desires. However, this decision must be made with equal power between not two, but three of us. Tell me, Erix, what is it you want? Because if Duncan survives this, we are once again faced with this tug and pull. I love you, and I love Duncan, but I don’t want to be stretched between you.”

“Why choose, hey?” Erix took a step closer until my chest pressed into his.

“Surely it isn’t as simple as that?”

Erix drank me in, all silver eyes full of love, and lips glistening from the trace of his tongue. “We would not be the first in history to fall in love outside the norms of what society dictates. Sometimes love is not as clear cut as we believe it to be. It is as wild as a ravine, and as embracing as the waters within it. So, I ask you, what do you want, little bird?”

I took a deep breath, filling my body with the incense-heavy air of Irobel. “I want to exist between you both comfortably, like a piece of a puzzle finally finding the place it belongs. But that will only work if you are both matching pairs.”

His eyes narrowed, the tension growing thicker between us. “Then it seems our desires are shared. I told you long ago that it is my duty to ensure you are cared for,” Erix added, a single brow lifting over inquisitive eyes. Tired, inquisitive eyes that were haunted by everything we’d been through. “That duty is the same for Duncan. And truthfully, I care deeply for him. On a level I never knew possible. My love for Duncan stems from his love for you. And I understand now, after my conversation with him, those feelings are mutual.”

I longed to touch him, to trace my fingers along his jaw and memorise him for an eternity. “It’s as if life finally makes sense, right?”

“My thoughts exactly.”

I found my gaze drifting to where Duncan lingered inside the strange pod. “When Duncan wakes from this, I will still need you. I can’t explain it in words, not yet. However, I know Duncan is right. I’m only whole when the two halves of my heart are kept together. He holds one half, and you the other.”

Erix shuffled on his feet, turning his body to the side until we both looked to where Duncan rested.

Moonlight swept in through the glassless windows, bathing his profile in an iridescent glow. It caught the single tear that slipped out of his eye, which was strange, because Erix looked the happiest I’d seen him in a long time.

“Are you crying because you are sad?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

He shook his head, lips tugging wider. “Robin, I thought I lost you. I grieved for you after… after what Doran made me do. I accepted my actions and the consequences they led to, and it destroyed me. But it was Duncan who encouraged you to speak to me in Berrow all that time ago. It was Duncan who ensured I stuck around. For you. He recognised, even then, that you needed me, even if neither of us had worked that out. I owe him my life for that.”

I didn’t understand the concept of being with them both, but what I did know was it involved consent. If all parties were not on equal footing, then it would fail before it began.

It was my turn to offer Erix some comfort, for his words sank as deep as a knife inside of me. I lifted my hand up and laid it on his cheek. Erix closed his eyes, his expression soft with relief. He leaned into my touch, quickly covering my hand and holding it in place.

“I never stopped loving you, Erix,” I whispered my admission. “Just as I know I’ll never stop loving Duncan. My heart is big enough for the both of you, equally. I see it now… that it is not about separate halves or sharing. It just simply is .”

“You have no idea how I have needed to hear that, little bird,” Erix smiled, the emotion glittering in twin silver-flamed eyes. “No idea.”

“Then hear it, and take it in,” I said. “Don’t ever forget.”

“I will not, even though I still recognise I’m not worthy of such an answer, not after the pain I have caused you, but I do hear you.”

“Who determines if you are not worthy of my love, but me?” I asked.

The pause stretched between us, a gaping mouth of darkness ready to swallow us up for judgement.

“Perhaps we can continue this conversation when Duncan decides to wake up?” Erix said, putting a halt to the conversation. “I want him to hear my definitive answer. It would be pointless if he wakes and has changed his mind, now he knows that death is behind him.”

“I told you already, Duncan is a man of his word.”

Erix lifted his eyes toward the hanging sack that Duncan dwelled within. “We shall see.”

Then he stepped back, leaving my hand to hover strangely in the air where he’d been. His gaze swept the room, searching for something. “I think it best that we both get some rest. Duncan would also kill me if he knew you hadn’t slept properly whilst in my care.”

I was aware that there was no bed in the room. But I had no plans to leave, and Erix didn’t need to be told that either. I put it down to Erix realising that if the tables were turned, and it was me who’d just faced a death, he’d have to be pried away to leave my side.

I smiled at the unspoken knowledge.

“Come here,” Erix said, taking my hand and leading me off to the side of the room. We stopped before a thick pillar of cool marble. Threads of black veins spread amongst the stone. Erix sat himself against the pillar, spreading his legs out on either side.

He patted the space between them. “Lie down with me.”

Altar, that command almost brought me to my knees.

I tried to find an excuse for him to go find a bed and to leave me. But it would’ve been wasted breath. So I did as he commanded. I nestled myself between Erix’s legs, laying my head on his chest. His body was hard with muscle, and yet I melted into him, feeling at home even surrounded by this strange place. There was no need for bedding in such a hot climate. But Erix rested a wing over us, offering me the cool air in his body-made shadow.

I looked up to where Duncan’s cocoon hung ahead of us. Even from the distance, I could still hear the strong thump of his heart, and how it played in symphony with the chime of bells.

But there was another beat that sang to me too. Erix’s heart echoed through my back, spreading across my chest until I was full of him.

“Erix?” I said, closing my eyes to hide myself away from his reaction.

“Yes, little bird?”

I took a deep breath in, drinking in the scent of him. “Do you remember the dream you had, the one Duncan used Duwar to give you?”

“I could never forget it.” Erix lowered his mouth to my scalp and pressed a kiss to it.

“Can you tell me what you experienced?” I asked.

You called for me, so I came.

“It was of us.” Erix’s wings tightened, holding me close. “The three of us, that is.”

I exhaled a breath full of tension. My mind came up with an answer to Erix’s concern from moments ago. “So, even back then, Duncan was showing us the possibility of a future.”

“I suppose he was.”

In the moment, I thought it was Duwar taunting me, using a weakness I didn’t know I still had against me.

Erix took a moment to pause, thoughts swirling behind those bright eyes of his. “All we can do is wait for him to make it through, and once he is in his right mind, we will see what he says.”

“And if the proposal is the same?” I asked, hope glittering across my words.

I found myself holding my breath for his answer.

“Little bird, I made a promise to never leave you again. I too am a man of my word. I plan to stick to it.”

“Good,” I said, wishing it was physically possible to press into him more.

“Now sleep,” Erix said. “I’ll wake you if anything changes with Duncan.”

“What about you?” I asked. “Surely you are tired too.”

“Exhausted,” Erix answered. “But for just a moment, I would like to enjoy this. Us. The chance of a tomorrow.”

“There is a chance for more than just a tomorrow, Erix. There could be so much more.”

So much more. Me, Erix and Duncan. But first, we had a world to save.

I woke from a dreamless sleep, startled beneath the sky-shattering boom of thunder. My eyes opened to a dark room, but it wasn’t because night still ruled the sky outside. A storm had finally rolled over Irobel, casting the once-blue sky in a blanket of dark cloud. But unlike the others, this was one was here to stay.

“Robin – where?” Erix mumbled frantically, sitting up, jolting me forwards.

“It’s just a storm,” I said, looking back at him. Sleep crusted the corners of my eyes and my mouth had dried. My body was covered in a sticky film of sweat, but it was the best sleep I’d had in a long while. So much so, it took me a moment to work out where we were.

Then I remembered Duncan and turned to his cocoon.

My world shattered at what I found.

The cocoon had broken apart. Half still hung to the ceiling, but the rest lay in dried patches of cracked shell across the floor. Amongst the dried shell and puddles of thick masses of goo, white feathers led like a path toward the window.

And Duncan was nowhere to be seen.

I was up in seconds, standing on trembling knees as I scanned my eyes over the entirety of the room. Erix joined me, sharing in my panic. Lightning cast the room in a stark purple glow. It highlighted the broken shell and missing body.

“I’m sorry,” Erix shouted over another clash of thunder. There was barely a second between the lightning and the world-shattering boom. “I fell asleep when I was supposed to keep watch. I should not have… I–”

As another bolt of bright light cast across the sky, my panic faded to nothingness. I laid a hand on Erix’s arm, wishing he shared the same revelation as I. “Erix,” I said. “This is not a normal storm…”

“What?” His eyes were wide open, fear painted in the bright hues of his irises.

“It’s him.”

Him. Duncan.

Even more snakes of purple light passed over the sky, proud and strong. I knew in the deepest parts of my soul that they belonged to Duncan. For this was his power. I couldn’t explain it, but from the way the panic left Erix’s gaze, he figured it out too. As if the same tether inside of me was also bound around him.

Another unspoken need was my desperation to be taken to him. Erix sensed that. In seconds I was swept up, his muscle-hard arms holding me close to him.

Erix beat his leathery wings against the thick air, the floor falling away from us. Then, with the grace of a dove, we speared out of the window, directly into the sky beyond.

Rain lashed down over Irobel, blinding me. Warm winds whipped at my skin. Erix flew up and up, until the building was nothing but a speck beneath us. But that wasn’t the only thing I noticed.

The sky was full. Not only of thunder and lightning, rain and wind. But of Nephilim. They were everywhere, wings beating, keeping them afloat. My first instinct was to gather my magic, bringing ice to the surface, ready to turn rain to spears that would rip through flesh.

But the Nephilim paid us no mind.

There was a flock of warriors, hundreds of them. No, thousands . Not a single one looked at Erix or me. Their gazes were focused to a spot in the centre of the storm, where another figure hung, white wings beating as purple light sparked and crested around their body.

A body I knew as well as my own, except it was different to the last time I saw it.

“Duncan,” I breathed, almost choking on the name. When I repeated his name, it came out as a desperate scream. “Duncan!”

Perhaps he couldn’t hear me, or maybe he just chose to ignore me. But that didn’t stop me from bellowing for him, over and over, until my throat felt as though it bled.

Erix attempted to fly closer, but the lightning kept us at bay, as did the sky full of Nephilim.

It seemed, with every passing second, more joined the sky.

But from where?

More lightning. More thunder. I watched as the lines of stark light left the white-winged figure. Instead of threading through the clouds, conducting in the warm air and setting the sky on fire, they crashed into the earth, spreading across every island in Irobel – atop statues of stone.

“The Saviour,” I breathed, studying this impossibility. “He really is the Saviour who Gabrial prophesised.”

As Duncan’s lightning struck Irobel, it shattered stone. Not stone, but the statues themselves. And from those statues, more Nephilim flew skyward. An endless stream of bodies. And I watched, from Erix’s arms, as the hope of saving the realms suddenly became a possibility.

Duncan had not only survived the Transfiguration – the Creator’s judgement and the physical change to his body – he was using his fey-given power to free Rafaela’s promised army. And with each strike of burning light, I felt the kindling of hope spark in my chest, growing hotter and hotter until it was impossible not to let it consume me.

Born from two realms. Made, with the blood of the fey threading through his heart.

I smiled, pride beaming from my soul for him. Because Duncan Rackley’s survival had just changed the tide of the future’s fate.