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He pressed a finger to the spot between my eyebrows.“What’s up?”

“Just thinking…”

“Thinking’s good.”He met my gaze.“Feeling’s good as well.”

“Can I can make you feel good?”

“If you let me return the favor.”

I faltered.That would mean letting him touch me.Not just intimately—that part didn’t scare me—but the fleshy parts of my body.The parts I wasn’t impressed with.The parts that made me feel embarrassed.

“Hey, Phillip.”

I blinked.

“We don’t have to do this.I swear.”

Before I could talk myself out of this—whatever this was—I grasped his hand.“You’re going to have to show me.”

His eyes widened.“Are you saying…?”

“Yes.”

“And…?”

I shut my eyes in humiliation.“That I lived with a guy for four years and was never intimate with him?Yes.Did that make us more like roommates?Possibly.But he said he cared about me, and look at the great meal he’d brought home so I wouldn’t be hungry.So I’d never be hungry again.”

“Oh God.”He blinked several times.“Whatever happened before doesn’t matter.You know that, right?I mean, you can always talk about it.Of course you can.But you’re also free to be honest with me.About everything.”He hesitated.“I wondered.Not that it was any of my business…but I wondered.”

“Barely been kissed, but lived in what I believed to be a monogamous relationship for four years.And put on weight with him constantly complimenting me on how good I looked and how attractive he found me.But he never touched me.”I closed my eyes, willing back the tears.

Jeremy pressed a kiss to my nose.“Would you like a hug?”

I appreciated he was willing to offer such kindness and comfort and, more importantly, that he was okay with obtaining consent first.I opened my eyes.“What I want is to bring you pleasure.”

“Yeah, I’d be okay with that.”He grasped my hand.“You’re just going to do with me what I hope you’ve done to yourself.”

I rolled my eyes.“I know how to jerk myself off.I’ve done that a lot over the last six years—since leaving home.I actually like doing it.”

He grinned.“Well, good.So you won’t mind if I do it to you.”

“Uh, no.That sounds—” I found my courage.“—fucking sexy.”

“Oh, it will be.Does…” He gestured toward Wally with his chin.

The dog who continued his light snoring.

“Nah, I think we’re good.”

“Okay then.”He guided my hand toward his crotch.“Are you okay with skin-on-skin contact?”

“Uh…sure.”I imagined the other way was for me to rub him while he wore clothes.That sounded painful to me.“Do we need, you know, something slippery…”

“Sometimes.I’m so close, though, that you won’t have time to hurt me before I go off.”He said the words through gritted teeth as he guided my hand under the waistband of his pajama bottoms.

I’d never felt another guy’s cock before.That thought flitted through my mind as I let my fingers wander down the silky length.In some ways, the slide was familiar—I had the sense memory of doing this to myself.In another way, my tentative strokes were strange.The small part of the puritanical that remained in my mind screamed this was wrong.

That was the only good thing about my relationship with Hank—I never had to work through the feelings of guilt over being with a man.