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“Jeremy.”

“The man whose house you’re staying in.”

“Yes.”

“Ah.And what about him…bothers you?”

“Not bother.”I threaded my hands together and placed them on my lap.“He’s a great guy.I mean super great.And I think I’m attracted to him.”I closed my eyes.“Scratch that.”I opened my eyes.“I really like him.Yeah, he’s older.Like Hank was, so that’s a worry.But he’s nothing like my ex-boyfriend.Jeremy’s a great guy.I already said that.It’s true, though.We talked yesterday morning.While we walked Wally to Nice Buns.I’m walking, Dr.Martin.A lot.And it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.And Wally’s got more stamina than I would’ve thought, and he just keeps going.”

“You spoke to Jeremy?”

“Yeah.I told him…just about everything.I vomited out everything that happened with Hank, and how I hate being unhealthy, and how I know people are judging me, and—” I let out a long breath.“I didn’t tell him about the suicide attempt.Or how my landlady found me.How I’d wanted to die.How I really should’ve died.Except…” I scrubbed my face.“If I had, then Wally wouldn’t be with me.And maybe he would’ve found a better owner?—”

“A better owner doesn’t likely exist.”Dr.Martin offered me a smile.“Anthony says you’re wonderful with Wally.I’d like to meet the little guy.Perhaps next time, if you don’t mind, we might meet in the park.Unless you’re concerned about being seen with me.There’s a little park behind the hospital.It’s pretty deserted most of the time.”

I bit my lower lip.“I’m not embarrassed, Dr.Martin.I need help.I’m getting help.I don’t hide that from people.Jeremy, Marice, and Colin all know.I’m more thinking…do you want to be seen with me?”

He cocked his head.

I pressed my hand to my gut.

“Phillip.”

“Yeah?”

“I would never be embarrassed to be seen with you.I only worry about how you feel.I accept you for who you are.You’ve said you’d like to lose some weight to get healthier.I’m fully supportive of that, as long as it’s what you want, not what other people make you think you should want.Being overweight can cause a myriad of health problems and shortens your life.So why not try to get healthy if that’s a goal for you?Wally was the first step.You said you’ve been watching what you eat?—”

“We had pancakes for breakfast.I had just one, and then we walked the nibblets to school.”

He tilted his head.

“Raphael and Thaddeus.”

He grinned.“That’s great.They’re wonderful children.”

“Marcie said your daughter has babysat them a few times.”

“Ah, yes.”

“She asked me…” I scratched my nose.“Something about…was I getting help or… No, I told her I was seeing you.Because I thought being honest was important.And I didn’t want her to hear from someone else that her brother was living with a guy under psychiatric supervision.”

Slowly, Dr.Martin nodded.“That’s really important to you, right?That you be honest.”

I glanced down at my hands.“Except about the suicide.”

“Phillip, that’s something incredibly personal.Something you never have to share with anyone if you don’t want to.It’s good that Anthony and I know.It’s good that you have the self-awareness and that, hopefully, if you start slipping that you’ll reach out and ask for help.We always have someone on call in town.I gave you that number, right?”

I tapped my phone, still not looking at him.

“Okay…”

Finally, I looked up.

“Why don’t we start by talking about your feelings for Jeremy?I suspect they might be complicated.”

“I like him.I mean Ireallylike him.But I haven’t told him.”

“Telling him would be a big step.Now, let’s go through all the different scenarios of what might happen.”