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“He’s very protective.”

“Ah.Well, that can happen in relationships.Especially if one partner has been in a precarious place.You’ve told him about your relationship with Hank.”

“Yeah.”I winced.“And how I got to be the way I am.”I cleared my throat.“I told himeverything.Like how Hank barely touched me.How he manipulated me emotionally.How I’m a virgin…”

Dr.Martin appeared to consider.“Well, I think those were all really good things to share.You’ll have certain incidents that might trigger you.Not my favorite word, but very to the point.Jeremy might say something or do something that upsets you.If you’ve been honest, he’ll understand what’s happened.Heck, he might even be able to avoid upsetting you in the first place.”

“I don’t want him to censor who he is.I don’t want him to feel that he has to be anyone other than the person I’ve gotten to know.”

“You’re not asking him to.You’re giving him knowledge.Knowledge is power.There might very well be things that set Jeremy off.Like he’s protective of Raphael.Anyone who hurts the child will face his wrath.Hopefully he’d keep it civil, but I don’t blame families who are protective of children.”

“The way my mom should’ve been of me.”

“Precisely.”Dr.Martin stroked down Wally’s back.“But you have people in your life who care.You told me about James taking you shopping yesterday.How Colin has offered you their basement suite.How Marcie trusted you with her kids.”

“Okay, I need to sidetrack us.Do we have time?”

He chuckled.“We have time.”

“So, Marcie brought the nibblets over last night.And Jeremy made the most amazing steaks for the adults and hamburgers for the kids, and he’s teaching me how to cook.Which is awesome.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Yeah.”I drew in a breath.“Marcie wants to go back to work.At least part-time.Possibly full-time.That means evenings and weekends and sometimes days when she doesn’t have Thaddeus in daycare.Darren isn’t always available, and Jeremy’s schedule can sometimes be unpredictable.”Like trips to LA in the middle of the night to help famous clients.Mind still blown on that one.I’d seen the show Andreas had starred in last year.I was bound to silence about Jeremy’s involvement, but I could feel bad for the actor over what he’d been through.

“Sounds like Marcie needs help.”

“Right?And here’s the crazy part…” I scratched my nose again.Damned itchy this morning.“She asked me if I’d consider helping out.And that she’d pay me.Really good money.She says I need to take a childcare class—CPR, nutrition, safety…some basic stuff so I don’t fuck up too badly.”

“Okay.”Neutral.

“I handled everything for the kids the other night.When she had the crisis.I managed with Raphael.And I’ve been reading tons of articles—from reputable journals—and Jeremy shared some blog posts from people who deal with kids like Raphael.I mean, I’d be worried all the time that I might do something wrong.”

“The dilemma of every parent.Or at least the good ones.”Xavier held my gaze.“How do you feel?”

“Honored.Tempted.I really want to find a job.The hours wouldn’t be enough for me to live on my own…but the money would be enough for me to feel less dependent on Jeremy.Like I could contribute, you know?”

“Yes, I do understand.Do you think you could handle the nibblets?”

“It’s an awesome responsibility.”

“There are plenty of jobs like that.We can certainly talk about finding you something less stressful.I think Bales and Bowls is hiring.You clearly love animals and are good with them.The store offers an excellent training program for their employees as well as good benefits after you complete your probationary period.”

I tilted my head.

“Rochelle, my daughter, is trying to convince me to let her work there.She has my husband’s support.I’m wavering between letting her fly and worrying about schoolwork.”He cleared his throat.“But you didn’t need to know that.”

“Being a parent is anawesome responsibility.”

He laughed.“Damn, my own words used against me.”

Panic started to set in.“I didn’t?—”

“I’m teasing, Phillip.Not meaning to be insensitive.I like that you have a bit of wit you’re willing to share with me.”

Heat raced to my cheeks.“I’m not usually like that.”

He grinned.“I suspect you have a wicked sense of humor.And that’s a good thing.I hope you let others see how clever you are.”