Page 5

On the long walk through camp, back to my tent, I passed men. Unfamiliar faces, dressed in lavish furs, likely nobles from one of Rong’s tribute states.

Their eyes went wide when they saw me, or perhaps when they saw the phoenix’s mark between my brows. A swirl of stark red, supposedly in the shape of a phoenix in flight, though I always thought it resembled more a sideways eye.

“The fallen goddess, promised to be the empress of all empresses…,” one whispered behind his hand, though not quietly enough.

“Or a country bumpkin, brought to the court as a child bride,” another said, giggling.

“Amazing how one mark can change someone’s life.????????????????.”I can’t believe even a mountain chicken can fly to a high branch and become a phoenix.

I picked up my pace. I had heard insults like these my whole life. I didn’t need to hear what would follow those words.

How do we know she’s not some peasant with a strange birthmark?

Why would a goddess reincarnate as a peasant girl from the middle of nowhere?

I almost wished I had taken Siwang’s offer to walk me back. At least when he was with me, nobody dared to look at me like this, or to be so careless with their whispers.

When Siwang was around, the girls hid their faces behind fans or handkerchiefs, always too busy looking modestly at the ground to notice me. And the men bowed their heads, as quiet as the girls.

In life, not everyone was created equal. I had known this for as long as I could remember. People were treated differently because of which region of the empire they hailed from, and which family they descended from. It wasn’t until much later, in the imperial classrooms with Siwang and the other noble children, that I learned even children of the same father were not created equal.

Lijian was one of those sons: born of the mistress instead of the official wife, forever treated as an afterthought in his family and by our teachers, despite being the smartest person in every room. For this, people treated him like an outsider.

I guess that gave us something in common.

I liked talking to him. He was nice, funny, and he was patient enough to explain the poetry I didn’t understand in the classroom.

But when Siwang caught Lijian and me sitting beside each other in the corner of the library three years ago, giggling about somethingI can no longer remember, sharing the red bean cakes he had the imperial chefs make for me each morning, it was the first time I realized Siwang had a dark side.

I had never seen him lose his temper like that.

Nobody from the capital had seen Lijian since. And perhaps nobody would again.

This wasn’t the first time that Siwang had punished someone for getting too close to me. However, it was the first time he had banished someone from the capital.

Siwang was like the sun scholars said the continent revolved around. His kindness was light. When he shone upon you, everything waswarm and dripping in gold. The moment that kindness turned away, the absence of him was a bitter darkness unlike anything else.

The court fought for his light. Father said I should curry his favor, too. For the more Siwang cared for me, the easier my life would be…. The easier everyone’s life would be

But what if I didn’t want his light? What if I wanted to be my own light?

When I pushed open the heavy sheepskin of my tent and saw my sister pacing inside with fevered strides, I nearly turned around and offered my body back to the winter wilderness like a sacrifice.

However, Fangyun caught me before I could spin on my heels.

“Fei.” My name rang out in the cold air like a plea.

I turned, saw Fangyun’s fingers clasped in knots. Fear gleamed in her eyes like freshly shed tears.

I let the sheepskin fall behind me, holding in a nervous exhale. I wished I had hidden my hunting manuals better when she visited me. “I have made up my mind; nothing you can say will change it.”

“Not everything needs to be a fight,” my sister hissed under her breath. I flinched, like I’d been struck. “You have a good life, Fei.You are betrothed to agoodprince, who loves you. Sometimes—”

“You are supposed to be on my side, Fangyun.”

While a chasm divided me from my parents, Fangyun was different. She was my sister, was granted special privileges to enter the palace and study alongside me and the noble kids. Though our time together was always too short, it was still more hours than I got with our parents. Even if we spent most of it sitting in silence, listening to the scholars lecture us about the poems of dead men.

“What’s so bad about marrying Siwang?” Fangyun asked. When I didn’t respond, she sighed and reached out so that her warm hands cradled my cold ones, bringing them close to her lips so she could blow warm air on them. “I told you to wear gloves when you go hunting. Your hands are freezing!”