Page 104

“You are awake?” a voice said beside me.

His face came into slow focus. It was Caikun, but he wasn’t looking at me. “Here.” He offered me a sheepskin of water. “You need to drink.”

“Where are we?”

“Siwang told me to take you home.”

A couple of months ago, I would have wanted nothing more than to go home, and stay as far from this war as possible. Not anymore. “How long have I been unconscious?”

“You have been out for two days, and we have been on the road for half of that,” Caikun murmured. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were…Siwang didn’t tell anyone. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you. I thought you looked familiar, but I…I didn’t know until Siwang finally told me. I never would have hit you if I had known you were Lifeng Fei, I—”

“Changchun. Has Siwang attacked Changchun?” I asked, finallytaking the water from him. I didn’t care if he knew who I was when he attacked me. I didn’t even care that he’d attacked me. I just cared about the people of that city, the innocent civilians who were locked inside.

Yexue had told the truth. Those were damages inflicted by Siwang, not by Yexue and his men when they claimed the surrendered cities.

I should have believed him sooner.

“It happened last night.”

No.“We have to turn back.”

“It’s already happened, there is nothing—”

“Yexue is going to attack in retaliation, and he is going to kill Siwang.”

For the first time, Caikun looked at me, his eyes wide with disbelief.

I could tell him about the vision, but what was the point? I had cried out the truth in camp, and no one had batted an eye. I might see the future, but men would never choose my words over those of a prince. I could scream prophecies of warning from the rooftops, and they would not listen. “Yexue said he would kill Siwang himself if he didn’t sign the treaty,” I lied. “We have to go back and warn him.”

“Why didn’t you tell Siwang this?”

I wanted to laugh. “Do you think Siwang listens to me? Has anyoneeverlistened to me?”

This was the way of men. They heard what they wanted to hear and buried what they did not. My words of warning were useless unless they fell on willing ears.

I waited for Caikun to say something, but he just looked at the floor of the carriage in silence.

I sighed. “Stop the carriage! We need to turn back!” I cried.

To my surprise, the carriage stopped.

“Are you all right, Little Li?” Luyao asked from the driver’s seat outside the carriage.

“Siwang wanted you to be with familiar faces when you woke up,” Caikun explained. He did not tell Luyao to whip the horses back into motion. Instead, he just sat there, staring at nothing.

He was still wearing the bone-white clothes of mourning. My heart throbbed for him. Even if my face still ached, I couldn’t blame him. Not after everything this war had put him through—after everythingSiwanghad put him through.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I whispered. “I don’t remember much about your father, but I know he was a good man. Everyone from my father to the palace servants to the emperor knew this.”

Caikun’s eyes welled. “Thank you.”

“Siwang is going to die if we don’t go back,” I said, my voice soft and luring. And I hated myself when I added, “Your father would want us to go back and save Siwang. If Siwang dies, we willalldie. The emperor will kill every one of us who could have stopped Siwang from riding into battle against Yexue, but didn’t.”

I leaned a little closer, my eyes staring hard, willing him to look at me. “We both want what is the best for him, don’t we?”

Caikun didn’t turn my way. “I wish you had died in the mountains that day.”

I flinched, my hand reaching for the blade that was no longer there. “What?”