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He frowned. “What for?”

“For forcing you and Mama and Fangyun into exile, for acting so recklessly without stopping to think how my actions could affect my family.” The words poured out as tears continued to sting and well and roll down my face. “I don’t regret what I did a year ago. I don’t regret breaking Siwang’s heart. But I do regret how it punished the three of you….”

Father pulled me into a tight hug. “We don’t blame you. In fact, we aresoproud of you. The courage it took to break your betrothal,and the selfless filiality when you enlisted in my place. You are everything your name prophesized you to be. An extraordinary woman full of courage to defy the world’s expectations and stand for the things you believe in. Fei, I am so proud of you. We all are. I’ve said this before: if I wanted you to obey and be ordinary, I never would have named youFei.”

“I love you, Father.”

“I love you, too, child.” He sighed. “I just wish the world knew it was you who brought peace to our empire. That a girl was the real hero of this war, not the prince whose name they’ve already etched into history.”

I smiled. However, the water clock in the corner was close to midnight. “I have to go, Father. Before the gates close.”

The peace between Rong and Lan was conditioned on my presence at the border at all times. Though Yexue allowed me to leave from time to time, his kindness had its limits.

With a heavy breath, my father nodded, placed one last kiss on my forehead. “Be safe.”

“You, too.”

We didn’t say goodbye.

I didn’t turn back to look at him when I walked away, afraid that if I saw tears in his eyes, I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to take anotherstep.

The border was far from the capital. With this parting, I had no idea when I’d see Father or the rest of my family again. I had no idea when I’d see Siwang again.

If ever.

Be safe,I thought to the star-strewn sky.Be happy.

58

In the stables, the music quieted to a hum. I took Beifeng from his stall. Siwang would miss his favorite steed, but Beifeng would enjoy a life running free in the southern fields.

One last act of defiance. And something to remember him by.

The prince trapped behind palace walls, groomed to become the emperor of all emperors. And me, bound to the borders by the treaty of my choosing.

Maybe this was the best ending for both of us. Maybe the two of us were never meant to be.

I’d always love him. And I hoped that when his harem was filled with beautiful faces from across the land, he would remember the girl he’d once promised to make not his empress, but his wife.

Maybe in another life, another story, one where my hands weren’t tied by my stubborn will and he wasn’t drunk on ambition and greed.

“Are you stealing my horse?” His sudden voice from the entrance startled a gasp from me. “Are you going to leave without saying goodbye, again?”

I swallowed. “I am.”

He knew.

I knew.

There was no point in lying.

“Because of what I did to Changchun?”

“Because of what you did and how you tried to justify it.” My voice grew harder with each word, anger straining.

I felt his warmth coming up behind me. His hand grazed my arm, and I should have pushed him away….

I didn’t.