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“It is not your responsibility to teach men how to live with bruised egos,” my sister said. I waited for judgment to show in her tone: it never did. “What have you done in the past months besides hunting? And don’t give me the same lies you tell Mother and Father. It is winter; what scenery is there to see when everything is covered in ice and snow? I know you hate the cold.”

I’m trying to undo my prophecy,I wanted to tell her, yet feared she wouldn’t understand. Or worse, finally see me for what I was: Not a good omen but a curse upon the land. The reason young men like Lu Bao were forced onto the battlefields, to fight for the pride of an emperor who would never know their names.

Before I could, a thunderous tempest of horses’ hooves made everyone in the market go silent. Soon, a parade of red-bannered soldiers rode through the streets, stirring up a maelstrom of slush and mud.

I recognized the rider at the front before I recognized the imperial banner.

Caikun. Armored and stoic, a golden scroll in hand.

“By the Mandate of Heaven and in the name of the emperor, I hereby announce that all able-bodied men over the age of eighteen will be conscripted into the army in our fight against the demons ofLan….”

Just like that, my heart dropped, and the whole world crumbled to dust around me.

Father.

24

The cottage was nothing like I remembered. With each visit, it felt more and more like a home. Far from nosy neighbors, this was a quiet piece of the world that belonged only to our family.

By the time Fangyun and I raced home, the envoys had already been. Father’s conscription letter sat at the center of the table. The house smelled of familiar sweetness. A ceramic pot sat over the crackling fire.

Sweet-and-sour pork. Father’s favorite.

“Father!” Fangyun was the first to rush into the room and fall at Father’s knees while I lingered in the doorway, unsure. “Please don’t go, Father!”

“My daughter, I have to. It is the law,” he replied without looking up. “I am of able body, and the only man from this house. If I don’t go, who will?”

“You’ve already given half your life to the empire,” I grumbled. Father’s eyes shot up at the sound of my voice. His entire face tensedwhen he saw me. “Twenty-three years as a minister, and fifteen more years as the emperor’s advisor. You’ve given enough,Baba.”

“Fei?” Father’s voice trembled when he said my name.

My chest ached, a lump of grief and happiness clotted in my throat. “I…I’m home, F—”

Before I could finish, he grabbed the yellowed broom leaning against the table and immediately chased me into the snowy yard withit.

“Six months! You didn’t come home for six months! Your mother and I thought you were dead!”

“Father, I’m sorry!”

“Did you know you still had a home to come back to? Why didn’t you write? That was our agreement! You would write every week and let us know you were safe! You said you would come back every two moons! Y—”

Father’s voice broke. Hand clutching chest, he sank to his knees, heaving for breath.

“Father!” Fangyun and I rushed to his side. Fangyun rubbed his back and I helped him into a crouching position, just like the doctor had told us.

Don’t let him get angry or stressed.Things I always failed at.

When I was around, I always did things that made him angry. And when I wasn’t around, it only made him angrier. Nothing I did was ever right when it came to my parents.

“I’m sorry. I know I should have come home sooner. But if I came home before midwinter, you would never have let me go out to hunt again until spring.”

“Hunt?” Father rasped, his voice barely louder than a breath, hisface still red and angry. “Why would a girl want to hunt? That’s the job of men, Fei!” His voice cracked again, a sob bubbling in his throat. I watched, helpless, as tears welled in my father’s eyes, his brows knotted in anger, frustration, regret. “I never should have let you go. I should have made you stay home, where it’s safe! There is a war going on, Fei! What if something happened to you!”

“????,?????????.”It is unfilial of me, unable to be at Mother and Father’s side.I lowered myself to my knees, then handed him my pouch of gold and the pelt of snow fox. “I know money is tight, Father. I’m no scholar like you, no good at embroidery like Mother. I couldn’t even help Fangyun with the stall. This is the only thing I’m good at.”

I closed my eyes and pushed away memories of the better days. Regret sank its fangs again.

Father sighed, covered my hand with his. “Silly girl. Nothing is more important than you coming home, safe and well. Let me worry about money.” He patted my knee. “Come, help me up. Your mother is going to be so happy when she sees you.”