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My stomach rumbled. A fire lit up across my cheeks, and Siwang smiled.

He let me go. “I suspect you haven’t eaten lunch yet?”

I ignored the ache in my chest when he walked to the entrance of the tent and said something to the guards outside.

A minute or two later, two servants entered bearing two ceramic bowls. Lamb and potato stew, I knew without having to look. They also brought a side dish of fermented vegetables and two bowls of rice. Not watery congee, but realrice.

My mouth watered. I hadn’t had anything this good since I left home.

“You didn’t think I’d let you go hungry, did you? Sit, we will catchup over food.” He guided me toward the silk cushions around a low table, then proceeded to pour jasmine tea into small teacups. “I try to be frugal with my meals and eat the same as my men. But I want to treat you to something nice for our reunion. I assume lamb stew is still your favorite?”

Warm broth poured down my throat, fragrant and delicious. Ginger, star anise, garlic, salt, and the tender chunks of lamb that were falling off the bone, cooked to perfection. I closed my eyes and relished the taste.

“You used to bring this stew to me whenever I was sick,” I said.

“Yes. Stew for when you are sick, andtang hulusfor when you’re upset or angry with me.”

“My forgiveness is a master that can be bought only with candied hawthorn berries. Nothing else.”I repeated the words I used to tease himwith.

Memories of childhoods long past fell like dusted sugar around us. Deliciously sweet. Just like his eyes as he watched me, so intently and with so much unspoken longing. “I’ve missed you, Fei.”

I lowered my gaze as a warm flush crept up my cheeks. Such simple words, yet capable of making my flesh burn and my bones sing: a haunting symphony of memories and nostalgia, mixed with something else.

In the palace, I had heard stories of how the concubines would paint their bodies with shimmer and wear immodest dresses, then wander the gardens frequented by the emperor even on the coldest of nights in hope of being seen by him. And that their soft flesh and wanton eyes could coax his hands into touching them.

It seemed that all anyone wanted in the inner palace was for the emperor to touch them, to kiss them, to part their legs and bear hisweight and let him give them the pleasures that apparently only he could give them.

As a child, I was always curious about what happened at night between two people, wondered what sort of pleasure could be so consuming. How could the touch of a single man devour those beautiful concubines to a point where they devoted their days to scheme ways to seduce the emperor and make him touch them?

As Siwang’s betrothed, the only person who could touch me was him. And if he ever touched me, then it would mean I would be forever trapped in that palace.

But this wasn’t the palace, and I was no longer his betrothed. Since leaving the palace, I had heard more rumors of the pleasures that conspired at night. Some of the cheapest lodgings in a village were often rented out by brothels, where I may or may not have heard some things that made my toes curl.

I’ve missed you, too.Four words at the tip of my tongue, yet I couldn’t bring myself to say them.

Instead, I asked, “How bad is it?” The question snipped the humming melodies in my bones, and from the way Siwang’s face fell, it did the same to his. “I’ve heard the stories of Lan Yexue’s army.”

“Everybody on the continent has heard the stories by now.”

“Should I be scared that your father sent you, his favorite son, to train recruits? This might not be the front lines, but it is close.”

If the First Army, kept for war, and the Second Army, kept for border protection, lost their strongholds, we—the Third Army—would be the reinforcements and the last hope. As the chief general of the Third Army, it was Siwang’s duty to lead us into battlegrounds if the moment ever called for it.

A bunch of ragtag farmers and boys too young to be sent to war,facing enemies as vicious as Lan? The thought was profoundly unsettling.

“This isn’t a fun little exercise for you to exert your military skills, is it?”

I waited for Siwang to smile and tell me I was being ridiculous.

He didn’t. “Nothing I say can leave the room.”

It’s a little late for that.“Do you trust me?” I asked.

“With my life.”

Something in me fluttered. Just a little.

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