Page 64

I had nothing to do with anyone. I had become a version of Ula.
But a part of my brain was still functioning just about enough that I had begun hatching a plan.
Ula and I had been spending most days together now; I was as much an outsider as she was.
Avril emerged into camp later and later each morning. She had begun to relieve herself of some of her duties and spent most days down at the shore sorting through the stores, tinkering with the boats with Kali, Mary and a burly woman who was sometimes here, other times not. There were more of them now, the boats, I noted, which stayed here. Usually only twowere moored. Now there are five, sometimes six boats. The sight of them made me uneasy. Did Avril have a plan, I wondered? She seemed edgy as though she were making things up as she went along. So far away from what her life had been for the last few years, where she had been able to live carefree and day to day. I wondered about all the other women – Mary, Kali, Precious, the mothers – where would all these women go? How could you leave somewhere like here and then carry on with normal life afterwards?
That night, I immersed myself in camp life by cooking. But even now, I could feel the change of atmosphere. Where before there was any reason to celebrate, now meals were taken without much conversation. The kava was rarely sent around, and most retired to their cabins by eight.
I then had to take the leftovers to Camp Z the next morning. No more fruit and bread. Avril commented that she didn’t know why she was even bothering anymore and I felt a weight in my stomach that hadn’t been there before. But what I now knew was that I had blood on my hands; I could have saved James and his friend’s lives.
I was dealing with a cold-hearted killer, and I had to watch and plan my every move around her from now on.
‘Tomorrow Hester, Star and the children will leave the island,’ Avril said with a tone of despondency.
‘Okay,’ I said. ‘Will we talk about protocol? About Camp Z?’
She looked at me nonchalantly. ‘What about Camp Z?’
‘Well, what we are going to do? I mean the women are beginning to be shipped out, what will happen to the men?’
‘They will end their days on Totini Island as per the agreement.’
Panic rose in my throat. I had initially thought she was going to abandon them. But now I realised she was going to kill them all.
55
THEN
I knew I needed to find that key and I had very little time to do so. Avril had not left it anywhere where I could find it, and she had not given me any idea where it might be. It was hidden. She was the only one who had it.
The only way I could think to get Avril to tell me where the key was, was to get her drunk.
‘I’m cooking a stew tonight?’ I said. ‘I think we should drink kava and not worry about the future. This has been a beautiful experience; we need to be thankful. Some of the women go tomorrow, so let’s drink?’
Avril smiled, and part of me felt like it was the old Avril I knew, when things were sweet and perfect and no one had been murdered.
I handed her a cup of kava. ‘A pre-dinner drink.’ I laughed and she laughed with me, which was a relief.
‘Thank you.’ She took the cup. ‘I’ve been distracted recently. There is a lot of stress here. I need to make sure all these women leave and then, after that you know, we must go too. It’s time to say goodbye. It’s been a long period of my life.’
‘Any idea what you’ll do?’ I asked, topping up her kava without her noticing or paying much attention.
‘I have no idea. I have some friends in New Zealand,’ she said vaguely.
‘Sounds like a good plan.’
‘You?’
‘I’ll go home to England.’
‘And never speak of your time here,’ she said with a stony expression. I went to laugh then I realised she was of course deadly serious.
‘There’s nothing to tell. I was on the mainland selling chocolate. That’s all anyone needs to know.’
‘You’re a good woman, Sadie.’ But there was something in the way she spoke, in the way she said my name. Nothing felt sincere. Nothing felt right. She did not hold my gaze. She could not look me in the eye. I could feel the building of something. I had been here such a short amount of time, but it felt like years. Avril had seen my concern for Ula, then Clara, then Camp Z. She knew I was the weak link.
For the first time in weeks I now knew that my own life was in danger. I was never going to leave this island alive, not if Avril had her way.