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‘Thanks for letting me come and see you. Would you mind if I visited again?’ I got up from the chair, my foot brushing against something that was half tucked under the rolled-out mattress. It was a notebook of some sort.
‘It’s such a lovely day isn’t it?’ I pointed to the door and Ula looked that way as I quickly bent down and scooped up the notebook, stuffing it into the back of my trousers. Ula turned back around and I didn’t think that she had seen me swipe her property. I would just look at the book, see what it contained and then return it. My stomach lurched as I thought about what might happen if Ula caught me. But something had made me pick up the book and maybe it would give me some answers about what had happened to Ula and why she was here. I had an inkling that it was a diary of sorts. Either way, I would find out tonight. Then I would bring it back the next time I visitedher. I walked to the doorway, hoping she would let me out. Again, her height intimidated me; she could easily knock me down. I smiled at her, not letting my eyes rest on her.
She didn’t move from where she was standing, still by the table of collectibles and the small camping gas hob.
I stepped outside the door and relief washed over me, alerting me to how tense I had been in the hut.
I waited to see if she would say anything more, if I could work out anything from just being here with her. I could feel the presence of the notebook tucked into my trousers and I knew there must be some answers here.
‘What’s a nice girl like you doing here? She’ll get you mixed up in all sorts,’ Ula said. I presumed she was referring to Avril.
‘Is that why you told me to run the other night?’ I asked, and waited for Ula’s response, knowing it might not come. ‘I’m here to help. In any way I can. Including you, Ula. If you need help, just ask. I’ll help you,’ I said, and then we locked eyes for a second before all the light seemed to vanish from her eyes as though she had fallen asleep with her eyes open.
‘I’ll come back,’ I said as I stepped away from the door.
As light as it was, I could feel the notebook pressing against my skin, urging me to open it yet also taunting me with the notion that I had done a terrible act taking it from Ula. It might offer nothing but a bunch of blank pages or some seriously bad poetry or prose, perhaps the beginnings of a novel. ‘Bye Ula.’
As I arrived closer to camp, an unusual sound drifted towards me. For a moment I thought someone had acquired a TV and was playing it very loudly. But as I approached the clearing, I could hear shouting. Two women’s voices, high-pitched and both clearly enraged. I dared to walk into camp not knowingwhat I was about to come across and I was not surprised when I saw Avril standing in front of a woman, their heads almost touching. Avril seemed ready to launch herself at the other woman whom I recognised as one of the other mothers, not Star; this woman was known as Hester. I hadn’t had much to do with either of the mothers; maybe if I was a lot more maternal myself, then I might have got to know them better. They seemed to have their own little clan and were quite content as they were with the two children.
I stayed back for a moment just to gauge the extent of the argument, to try and ascertain who was blaming whom for what before I stepped in.
It took me a moment to try and break down what it was they were saying, shouting, at one another and then put it in some sort of context.
‘He took my stuff and I want it back.’ Hester sounded petulant.
‘Why would he take it? Why? And even if he did, which I highly doubt, why would that give you the right to act that way towards him? Like some savage beast? Is that how you treat one of your own, is it? How would you like it if someone were to threaten your daughter that way?’ Avril was practically seething as she spat her words at Hester.
‘I have used discipline on my own daughter when it is needed, but that boy is feral. He is an animal and deserves to be treated like one.’ Hester was still shouting.
‘You’re an animal and deserve to be treated like one. How dare you treat an innocent boy like that!’
Hester let out a loud, fake laugh. ‘Innocent boy, you don’t know shit. You don’t notice anything. You’ve been so wrappedup in Lola and now Sadie. And you think you know everything. I’ve been here. I know. That boy needs discipline and there isn’t no one here to give it to him but me.’ Hester was pushing her luck by all accounts. A few inches shorter than Avril, I was sure she would be the one to come out worse, but then I wasn’t sure what had happened. I presumed they were talking about Adi who had obviously stepped over some invisible line and Avril was there to stand up for him. I would stand up for him too, if I only knew what he had done.
‘Hey,’ I called before I had properly thought about what I was going to say. Both women and the small crowd that had formed around them looked over at me. I saw Avril’s body language change. She seemed to recoil slightly, and Hester sensed her backing down and relaxed her stance.
‘What’s the lad done that’s got you all riled up like this?’
Hester spoke up first. ‘Stole a freshly baked sourdough loaf.’
I nodded as though I understood. Then I took a few steps closer.
‘And it isn’t the first time he’s done it neither,’ Hester went on. ‘He was at it last week with the sugar buns, and he took my favourite scarf.’
‘And does he do this a lot?’ I quizzed. I could sense Avril shuffling uncomfortably next to me. I wasn’t sure if she was okay with me stepping in, but if she wanted me as her new assistant, maybe this was a good way to show her I was willing, even if it was just so she didn’t see through me straight away. Anyway, I wanted to stand up for Adi. He was a sweet child.
Hester snarled as though she were already defeated. ‘No. Only recently.’
‘Well maybe he feels threatened?’ I suggested.
‘I feel threatened! We give him plenty. He has enough food, and he still takes more. It’s only him who eats it. He chooses not to live among us. I don’t feel safe,’ she cried.
It was Avril’s turn to laugh loudly this time. ‘Ha! He’s a six-year-old boy. What have you to feel scared of?’
Hester kissed her teeth, making a lip-smacking sound.
I was practically between the two women now.
‘I don’t think we should be showing any anger towards a small boy whatever his crimes. This is not the Dark Ages. We may live in a place where we make our own rules, but this is one area where I suggest we tread very carefully,’ I said, realising that all eyes were on me.