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A few glances came my way as I sunk into the cushion, which was surprisingly yielding and encasing around my rear end. I was handed my bowl of food, and I felt humble, suddenly smaller somehow, that this community had existed all this time without me. Now I had wandered into it, and I was welcomed without any questions.
‘Everyone,’ Avril spoke loudly and the group fell silent. ‘I want you all to welcome our new campmate. This is Sadie and she is going to be staying with us. I hope you will all give her a warm Totini welcome and help her get settled.’ Avril began clapping her hands and suddenly the whole group was clapping. I felt a rush of joy. I don’t think I had ever heard an applause like that, which was just for me, before. The applause fell into a beat and then I realised they were chanting. I couldn’t make it out, a three-syllable word that sounded like coowee nee. Finally it faded and spoons were picked up and the women began eating.
There was a hushed conversation around the campfire as everyone ate, politely. Avril was sitting opposite me and now and then our eyes would meet, and she seemed to be checking in with me. She looked about the circle often as she ate, rarely letting her eyes drop down to her lap where her food was. And I realised after some time that she was surveying the whole group. She was watching over them, these twenty-nine other women, as though she were the teacher and they were her students. I had often wondered how such a commune would operate and now I knew the answer. I was suddenly part of one, thrust into a new way of life overnight. It was obvious that Avril was the leader. I was in awe of what I was a part of here. So many women, all living seemingly in harmony. Was that possible?
I was handed a cup of kava, the drink of Fiji, which if drunk in excess could cause you to become quite drunk, or even lead to hallucinations. I wasn’t ready for that on my first night on the island. I had drunk kava before but never went overboard. I took a few sips and passed the cup on.
‘So you’re new,’ a girl to my right began. She had dark skin and an Australian accent.
I smiled wearily. The kava had given my travel tiredness a little kick.
‘I am. How long have you been here?’
‘Six months.’ She squinted as she thought. ‘Seven months, yes seven months.’
Seven months was a long time. I hadn’t considered how long I was going to stay or even how long I was welcome.
‘So what brought you here? I mean, I’m trying to get my head around this being an all-women commune.’
‘It is pretty mad, right?’
I laughed. ‘Yeah, like we have to come all the way here to get away from them.’ I laughed a little harder and then I noticed that the woman wasn’t laughing, only smiling at me.
‘I’m Sofia,’ she offered and I wondered if she would do the same thing that had happened to me with Kali and Mary and press her head against mine, but she didn’t even offer her hand.
I glanced over at Avril then, as though I could sense that she might be watching my interaction. And she was. I looked away and back at Sofia.
‘It is nice to meet you. I’m Sadie.’
‘Oh, this is nice; our names, they’re similar.’
I smiled. ‘Yes, they both begin with S,’ I agreed.
Sofia was sweet. She seemed quite naive, and I wondered if this was why she had been brought under the wing of Avril here on the island of Totini. It would be nice to get some sort of clarity about the roots of this island, and I was sure tomorrow would bring just that. For now, I was just going to sit back, take it all in and go to bed tired, full of stew and kava.
I listened to Sofia chat with me about her life here on the island and her interaction with some turtles yesterday, and I was soothed into a lulling state. When dinner was over, more kava arrived, and this time, I didn’t hesitate. A few women came and said hello to me, they must have mentioned their names but I was far too drunk to remember. The day had well and truly taken its toll. Finally, a woman bent down in front of me. She had blonde hair tied into a ponytail, and she wore a Nike sports vest and shorts. Even through my drunken and tired haze, I recognised her as the woman who had been shouting and then crying with Avril outside my cabin earlier.
‘Hi, I’m Clara.’ She looked at me curiously. ‘Let’s get you to the cabin.’
‘Clara!’ I grinned. Now I could hear I was drunk, I had already sensed it in my body.
This was Clara, with whom I would be sharing a cabin. She was young and very pretty and, wow, so very strong. She pulled me up from my sitting position, where I had feared I would end up staying the whole night, and then cradled my arm through hers as we began walking back to the cabin.
‘The first day is exhausting. I remember getting here, and it took it out of me; I slept solidly for, like, two days.’ Clara had a strong American accent; from the way she looked, all sporty and tanned, and her accent, which I recognised from spending time in LA, I presumed she was from somewhere in California.
We reached the cabin and Clara helped me up the steps.
‘This is so kind of you,’ I said and I realised I was slurring my words now. I had drunk more than I realised when the kava was passed round a second and third time.
‘That’s why we have cabin buddies,’ she said.
‘That’s nice,’ I said as I fell towards my bed, Clara holding me a little to help break the fall.
She looked over me. ‘Okay, you’ll be good.’
She left the hut. I must have fallen into some sort of slumber, because a little while later I heard the cabin door creak open and Clara came in. I saw her strip down to her underwear. She took three long gulps from a bottle of Fijian water and then climbed under her thin sheet.
I was falling back to sleep when I thought about what Clara had said and how everyone had a room buddy. Who was Clara’s room buddy before me, and where was she now?