Page 52

As awkward as I feel on the inside, I don’t mind spending time with them. I like Matt. I like Xia. Olive and Lena are by far the most tolerable children I’ve ever been around, and baby Bruno is fine when he’s not shitting himself.

Mostly, I like that they let me talk about sports all the time. Soccer mainly, because Matt is almost as obsessed with the game as I am, but I sprinkle in some baseball talk and even MMA.

It’s a Friday, so the place is busy. We wait fifteen minutes for a five-top table and high chair, then it’s a bit of a wait to get everyone’s special orders in. I realize before our food arrives that I need to text Tommy and let him know I’m hung up. Part of me thinks I should just postpone tonight’s training, sinceDominico’s nights on Matt’s dime are nights I stuff my face. But I want to see Tommy. Even if we’re not training. Even if we’re not messing around. I just like seeing him when I don’t have to pretend he’sjustmy friend.

Me

Out to dinner rn. Don’t know if I can train tonight

“Ah, ah, ah!” Xia chides me with her cat eyes and a manicured nail pointed at me from across the table. “Phones away. You know the rules.”

I hit send before shrugging. “I was gonna work out with a buddy before tonight became family night. Just gotta let him know.”

“Mm,” she hums, lowering her lined lids in her perpetually suspicious way. Xia may not be my mom, but the way she treats me, I swear she’s convinced she gave birth to me. She would’ve been sixteen at the time if so, but she looks younger than her thirty-eight years. Everyone always says so. “All you do is work out. You need to relax sometimes.”

I smirk a little at the irony of Xia telling me to relax while bringing me to a noisy family restaurant with three kids under ten.

“This that Tommy kid?” Matt asks, one hand holding a crayon he uses to help color in Lena’s illustrated paper placemat.

“Yeah.”

Xia shoots me a glare when my phone vibrates, and I just chuckle at her intensity. She might be the only person I know more intense than I am, but she’s also the kindest person I’ve ever met. Even kinder than Matt, since there’s no way Mattwould’ve done everything he’s done for me if Xia weren’t egging him on in the background.

Tommy

Out to dinner? Damn ok meanwhile I had hotdogs and Kraft

Me

Rest assured, I’d much rather be eating your hotdog rn

I’m either blushing while typing or smirking like a fiend, because as soon as I hit send, I look up to find Xia’s suspicious expression has only grown more suspicious. Lips pursed, brow ticked up, and a subtle bob of her head like she knows something she’s not supposed to. Xia always thinks she knows everything, and unfortunately, she’s usually right. Seems I can lie to everyone in the world, but never to Xia. The mom instinct, she calls it. For a long time, I thought that didn’t apply to me, but I guess it does.

“How’s he doing?” Matt asks, still keeping his eyes on his and Lena’s artwork.

I haven’t told him much about Tommy. Just that he’s some kid I was helping make the team. I showed Matt a few videos of Tommy’s playing time at Johnson, and Matt agreed Tommy was talented and that it was a shame he quit.

“Got bumped up to second string,” I tell Matt, flipping my phone screen-down on the table. “So he’s practicing on the big boy field now. Just have to prove to McDonough he can hold his own competitively.”

“He hasn’t played in a long time,” Matt answers, sounding like McDonough.

“I train with him nearly every day. I see him at practice. He does well when we scrimmage. Defense is great. Working on offense. He has what it takes, and he loves the sport. He just needs to keep working hard and believe in himself more.”

Matt exhales a chuckle. “Well, if you think he’s got what it takes, he must be the greatest thing walking.”

“He’s good, and he’s cool to train with. Doesn’t complain. Well, sometimes he does, but he doesn’t quit.”

“Sounds like you really like him,” Xia says while tearing up bits of soft breadsticks for Bruno to nom on. Her knowing suspicion is replaced by a knowing smile—soft and accepting in a way that darkens my mood like rain clouds opening up over my head.

“Xiamara,” Matt mouths to his wife, but his warning reaches just close enough to a whisper that I hear it.

“What?” she asks him at full volume, animatedly tossing up her bread filled hands. “I think it’s nice. He needs a good friend. Everyone does.” She turns her rounded eyes to me. “Do you two do anything together besides train?”

Well, there’s Sonic, Dairy Queen and In-N-Out. There’s the party where Tommy fractured my soul by tongue kissing that chick, Eve. There’s the horticulture garden where Tommy goes when he’s depressed. I don’t ever want him to be depressed, though. I don’t know why he ever would be, unless he’s struggling more with the gay thing than he lets on. Then, of course, there’s all the gay shit we do that’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been. Not just the sexting, the handjobs and the way I take him in my lying mouth whenever I can, but the soft stuff I let Tommy do to me sometimes. Like when he put his hand on mine and kissed my cheek with milkshake lips.

“No,” I lie. “We just train.”

Xia doesn’t believe me. I can tell because when my phone buzzes, she doesn’t make a single grunt of objection when I check Tommy’s text.