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“You won’t,” I rasp, though the inside of my head knows I’m lying. I think I want it to hurt, just a little. What is Rowan always saying?It hurts so good.Will it hurt as good as when Rowan drills me on the soccer field or pushes me to run harder and faster and longer, even when I feel about ready to crumble?“Please,sweetheart. I want you to feel what I feel when I make love to you.”

A devious smirk crawls across Rowan’s face, his cock still mashing against mine in an agonizing rhythm. “That’s beautiful, baby,” he teases.

Tugging a hand out of his shorts, I skate it up the valley of his back and thread my fingers in his short hair. He’s been letting it grow out, just an inch or so on top, but it’s enough to show off a curl pattern and natural color. Not black, but arich brown that looks like molasses in the sunlight. I rake my fingertips through the soft thicket and draw his mouth toward mine.

“Spoil me,” I dare him softly before kissing at his bottom lip. “You can punish me later, but right now, I want all of you. Every last inch.”

A low, rumbling moan accepts my terms, and his mouth seals the deal with an open-mouthed kiss like he’s trying to suck the lips right off my face. Without unlocking our mouths, Rowan’s body shifts and I hear my nightstand drawer slide open. Then, a cap pops.

“Take your fucking boxers off,” Rowan grits.

Shit…What’s that saying about being careful what you wish for? But as anxious as I am, I’m rock fucking solid, tenting my boxers and wetting the fabric with pre-cum. I can’t get them off me fast enough.

By the time I’m naked for him like a damn offering, Rowan’s fingers are wet with lube. My pouty eyes and weeping cock beg him to take all of me in a way he never has before. When I grab my dick, he swats my hand away and tugs on my thighs to pry them apart.

“Put your feet on my shoulders,” he says, hunkering down between my legs like he’s going to give me head.

The position exposes me, terrifies me, and comforts me all at once. Rowan’s slick fingers massage my rim while his tongue tastes my inner thigh down to my balls. He’s touched my ass before, but never with the intention of entering me until now. Now, I bite down on my bottom lip and will my body to relax.

“If you ever need to stop, let me know,” Rowan whispers up at me, his grey eyes glinting like silver.

“Mhm,” I nod, and in that moment, with Rowan’s gaze synced with mine, he drives one finger through me with moreease than I imagined. Still, it feels like so much more than it is. Stretching, pinching, pushing on my walls and reaching somewhere deep within them.

I’m trembling, eyelids fluttering, and I can’t tell whether I hate this feeling or love it, but I decide to roll with it for now either way.

Hissing a breath in through his teeth, Rowan croons, “So tight, baby. You’ve really never tried this alone? Just to see if you’d like it?”

My head shakes, my back and forehead percolating with sweat. I watch in wonderment as Rowan skims the tip of his nose along the underside of my cock before touching a kiss to my tip, dispelling a fresh bead of pre-cum onto his upper lip. His lubed up finger drags inside my ass mischievously slow. All the way in, then a little bit out. All the way in, then a little bit out. And while it still feels like an intrusion, the way Rowan worships my cock with gentle kisses and a dancing tongue has my hips rocking between his finger and mouth.

“Oh my God,” I sigh, combing both my hands through his hair now. “You love my cock, don’t you?”

The eyes that flicker up to mine are darker than they were a minute ago, and the finger inside me drags out completely. “I love every part of you,” Rowan murmurs as two fingers pry my hole open and fill me to the last knuckle.

Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck.

“Holy fuck,” I whine, squeezing my eyes shut.

“You okay, baby boy? Is this too much?”

“Huh uh.” I shake my head, but I know my face is a picture of pain. It does hurt, but the pain is nothing compared to the strangeness of it. The‘I can’t believe Rowan enjoys this shit’confusion mixed with the‘holy hell, Rowan is inside me’excitement. And this is just two fingers, andwhile Rowan’s hands are big, they aren’t as big as mine. His dick isn’t as big as mine either, but it’s big enough that I can’t fathom expanding enough to take it.

Oh, but I’m dying to try.

Rowan takes his time with me, though, fingering me in languid motions while his mouth continues to pleasure my dick just enough to keep it aching, but not enough to get me to the edge. That is, until Rowan hits a pressure point inside me that shoots a spark of electricity up my spine. I hop up onto my elbows in shock as my body quakes with what feels like a spontaneous climax.

“I’m coming,” I warn him breathlessly, eyes wide with concern as my cock drools clear fluid into my navel.

“You’re not coming,” Rowan says, squeezing my thigh and standing up onto his knees. “Not yet. Not til daddy pops your cherry for real.”

I whimper submissively as Rowan massages what I can only assume is my prostate until I’m pleading for an orgasm that will end this euphoric torture. “Please, Row. Fuck, I need you. Ineedyou. Fuck me, please.”

The consequence of my request is that Rowan’s fingers leave my body and that delicious spot inside me. My anxious excitement returns when he shimmies out of his shorts, wets his cock with lube, and presses his tip to my hole.

Wearing a breathtaking look of determination, Rowan takes my ankles and plants my feet on his chest as he grinds his hips forward. One hand lifts my balls while the other grips his shaft. A firm push pops the top of his cock inside. My back arches, and I slap a palm over my mouth to keep from crying out in a mix of overwhelming fear and pleasure.

This is how Rowan felt the first time, in that hotel room in Utah. He’d told me afterward that it was as if his wholelife flashed before his eyes in a split second until his body understood that the pain was the good sort, not the bad.

I feel it. Exactly that.