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“I hope all soup isn’t off the menu,” I replied. “Because the first thing I’m asking for is that chicken and gnocchi soup.”
She laughed. “I don’t know how you can even think about soup after we’ve only eaten that and muffins.”
“Then we can have something else—as long as you made it. I’ll eat your cooking every damn day if I can, Stella.”
“I’m still out of practice. What if I burn things?”
“Then I’ll eat that too.”
NINETEEN
The next morning,I woke up and quickly realized how every inch of me was wrapped around Alden. I grimaced, remembering when Reed would say I was cutting off his circulation and tried to pull away.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He pulled me in tighter.
“I’m suffocating you.”
“You’re absolutely not. Stay in my arms, Stella. It’s right where I want you.”
Cheeks heating, I did as I was told.
I didn’t want to move anyway. Alden was more comfortable than the most expensive pillow I owned. The fact that he wanted me as close as I wanted him sent butterflies into my stomach.
All I could do was nuzzle my face into his neck and let his beard tickle my cheek.
I was gone.Sogone. Nothing would compare to this.
Alden’s hand traced lazy circles on my back, and I lost myself to the quiet peace of the moment. I don’t know how long we sat there simply enjoying each other’s company.
“I can’t believe Christmas is over,” I eventually said.
“I think it’s extended for this year, especially since we spent most of the day without the Christmas tree even on.”
I thought of the multicolored lights and the tacky decorations. They’d twinkled innocently in the corner of the living room, and Amma’s icicle lights outside glowed in the snow now that the power was back on.
“Still,” I said, sighing. “I spent the beginning of the season as someone else. I feel like I missed out on everything I loved. The tree, the music, the traditions.”
“We have time now,” he replied. “Come on.”
I slowly stood, my body finally feeling rested after spending the night on a mattress and not a pullout couch. I followed Alden as he went to Amma’s old record player, which was built into one of her tables. She had tons of classic Christmas vinyls, and in the rare times she hosted the holiday, they would be playing in the background.
The sound of an old record filled the space, mixed with crooning lyrics about the season.
“May I have this dance?” he asked.
I couldn’t help but blush. “I haven’t danced since high school.”
“Yes, but you once mentioned you thought dancing toChristmas music was one of the most romantic things you could imagine.”
I swallowed. We’d been young when I’d said that. I still believed it, but as I got older, the idea seemed more and more like a childlike dream.
“I said that a long time ago.”
“I always listened, Stella. Come on.”
He spun me to the music, and a smile broke out on my face. I didn’t know what it would feel like to finally get everything I wanted, but it was a warm glow, one that rivaled the tree.
I’d missed these records. I’d missed the fairy lights. I’d missed all of it over the two years I’d lost myself. And now I was whole again.