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Emotion was taking over, filling me with a despair that had no outlet. I couldn’t tell her about this. Shedidn’t get why Nick was overprotective, and I couldn’t hide it from her if I tried. Nick wanted nothing to do with me, and I had no one else.
So, I ran.
Ran to the quiet of a nearby park, where I sat in my truck and regretted all of the choices I’d made that night.
Silence was my only companion for hours, and eventually, I calmed down enough to send a text.
Alden
This can’t happen again. I’m sorry, but we won’t work out.
I hated myself for it. I wished I could take it back the moment I hit send.
But I couldn’t lose my best friend. I couldn’t take one more person walking away.
It didn’t mean it was easier to be the onepushingsomeone away, though.
ONE
STELLA
I tookanother sip of my drink, cringing at the bitter taste. My boyfriend, Reed, made this hot chocolate, and like most of the things he concocted, it was disgusting.
It was possible that the only ingredients were water and cocoa powder since he didn’t believe in using sugar.
I stood in the corner of his high-rise apartment, wearing heels that dug into my feet. Reed asked me to dress up for this in the same muted colors he’d been begging me to wear since last year. This time it was a mauve that high-school me wouldn’t have been caught dead in.
He’d told me it was because there would be a lot of photos, and it was best not to outshine his mother, Patricia, who was in a tight, candy-red dress. But I wouldn’t beinthe photos, considering I was also the photographer of the evening.
I didn’t think I would celebrate Christmas with hisfamily by working, but they insisted I take their portraits. Instead of mingling, I’d been running around getting shots of everyone.
Reed said it was because I was good at my job, but I knew it was because he wanted me to be busy. Last Christmas, I’d been too boisterous after having spiked hot chocolate. Patriciastillreferred to me as the girl with the guffaw.
After that, I learned to stay quiet. But doing so burned me in a way I wasn’t used to. There was a quiet resentment at Reed and Patricia that I couldn’t fight. And it was getting harder to ignore.
Winnie told me I shouldn’t have to change at all. I wanted to agree with her, but after a line of men telling me they either didn’t feel a spark or that I wasn’t their type, landing Reed felt like a win. He was my first serious adult relationship. I wanted this to work.
So here I was, in a mauve dress, keeping my mouth shut.
I fucking hated it.
I felt as bitter as the hot chocolate in my hand, but today, I had to put on a brave face since all of his family was here. This was the one night they were in the city before they went to the Florida Keys for Christmas. Reed invited me on the trip, but I turned him down, knowing I couldn’t be away from my family for the holiday.
He’d planned this party instead. It said a lot that I was hoping that he would tell me he was going to the Keys instead of staying with me in town.
If he did, I didn’t have to bring him to my own family’s holiday party. He’d only met them once, and it was at Christmas last year. If anyone in my circle saw what I was wearing, they’d do the dumping for me.
I knew what was happening here. This relationship, like all of my others, wouldn’t work. I’d have to break it to him soon.
Maybe I should say it was the hot chocolate. The abysmal drink was enough to breakanyoneup.
I checked my watch. If he didn’t say he was going with his family, maybe I would tell him tonight that heshouldgo to the Keys and I’d stay here.
I’d pack up my stuff and be gone by the time he got back.
“There you are!” Reed’s sister, Lacy, said, popping up in front of me with a smile on her face. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“Looking for me? Really?” I asked. Lacy rarely talked to me and chose to whisper in the corner with Patricia at every family gathering.