Page 81

She took the mug with a smile. “I’ll deal with bad hot chocolate for you.” She lifted it and took a sip, and her eyes went wide.
“What’s the verdict?”
“Holyshit,”she said. “This is the best I’ve ever had.”
“Is it? It’s better with regular milk.”
“I’m coming off from two years of nearly no sugar and powdered hot chocolate.” She shrugged before her smile returned. “Seems like you’re the best I’ve had in multiple ways.”
“You’re shameless.”
“And you’re blushing.”
I rubbed my warm cheek. “Before we get too off track, we should finish our conversation.”
She blew out a breath. “I know. I’m just stalling alittle.” She took another long drink before gesturing to the living room.
I took a second to put the bed back into the couch so we could sit comfortably.
Stella wasted no time once she sat. “Nick shouldn’t have done what he did. I stand by it, but I don’t get why you went along with it for so long.”
“Sometimes friendship means suffering.”
She blinked and shook her head. “What? No, it doesn’t.”
“We all have to sacrifice things to be around others. Hasn’t there been something Winnie has asked of you that hurts?”
“No. Winnie knows I’m my own person. Even when I was being an idiot with Reed, she told me her opinions, but she never forced my hand like Nick did yours. The only time that could be justified is if there was some sort of abuse involved, but that’s not what happened with you and me.”
“There’s really nothing?”
“No. Why do you think that it’s okay for friends to dictate how we live our lives?”
“I either be what they want, or they leave.” I shrugged, trying to ignore the pain in my chest as I thought about my past. “It’s life for me.”
“First of all, anyone who leaves you has something wrong withthem.It’s never your fault. And second of all, we choose our friends. If they hurt you, then something is wrong.”
“But I owe Nick for saving my ass as a kid.”
“Friendships don’t come with IOUs, not healthy ones, at least.”
“So, you don’t feel like you owe Winnie for anything?”
“No. I’m grateful for a lot of the things she’s done, but at the end of the day, I just like being around her.”
“I can’t imagine a friendship like that. There’s no disagreements?”
“There are, but there’s never a thing that we’ve been unable to figure out. Love doesn’t have to hurt.”
“I don’t think I know how to love someone without hurting.”
“Okay, what about this, then? Us? Does it hurt?”
“The guilt does.”
“Take that out since we’re working on it right now. HaveI,not Nick, asked you to do anything that hurts?”
“No.”