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“No.”
“Then explain it to me like I’m five. Because I don’t get it. And leave out any misguided notions that my brother needs to protect me. I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”
I didn’t have an answer for it. Over the years, I never questioned Nick’s reasoning for wanting me away from his sister.
But in the face of Stella, I was starting to.
“That’s what I thought,” she said. “God, I can’t believe him. I can’t believeyoulet him talk to you like that.”
“He had good points.”
“Oh, what were they? That I’m too fragile or delicate?”
“That the justifications I used to sleep with you were the same ones my dad used when talking about his new wife.”
She blinked, obviously not expecting that answer. “Wh-what?”
“You’re the same age as her, you know. And I knew it was different. I’m his son, and I’m nowhere near his age.But I told Nick you were an adult. That you consented, and you were fine with it. Then he said I sounded a lot like my dad. And he was right. I did.”
“You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”
“It’s not exactly the same, but you were off-limits, and I broke his trust. Nick made it clear. If I went after you, he and I wouldn’t be friends.”
“He threatened to drop you?”
“Yes.”
“No fucking way. Why would he—you’re hisbest friend.”
“Which makes it worse that I went after you.”
“We were friends too!” she said. “I don’t ... Why would he get in the middle of something like that? Why would he threaten you? This isn’t okay.”
“It’s not . . . He wasn’t?—”
“Andyou!You didn’t call him out or findanythingwrong with that? You just did what he said, no questions asked?”
“I thought it was the right thing. He told me to choose between you or him and?—”
Stella huffed out a humorless laugh. “You chose him.”
“I—” I couldn’t say anything else. The words killed me. She was right. In the end, I chose my friend over her.
I knew what it was like not to be chosen. It had happened too many times in my life, and as I saw my own pain echoing in her, I regretted my choice more than I thought possible.
I deserved for her to hate me. It would kill me to seeit, especially after we’d gotten along over the last few days, but it was what I deserved.
“I’m sorry, Stella.”
She shook her head, her anger dissipating. “I don’t want to hear sorry right now. I’m gonna go back in the bedroom.”
“It’s freezing in there.”
“The heat is on. I need a minute to think.”
“I’ll go outside.”
“Stop it. I don’t want you going out there to suffer because you think you have to. Just give me a minute.” She gathered a blanket and went to the back room, slamming the door behind her.