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He stuck to the sidewalk that ran alongside the parking lot, since it allowed him an overview of the mowed field that sloped off to the right. People were playing frisbee and dogs were galloping across the grass in wild abandon, but he still didn’t see anything unusual.

Someone honked, drawing his attention back to the parking lot. Many of the cars were occupied despite being stationary. In fact, it was mostly solitary men behind the wheel, each with the window rolled down. He began focusing on them. The men stared back. That alone was enough to make him nervous, so he began walking again, setting his sights on a park bench, where he sat and refused to look at anything but his bouncing knee. When he finally got up the courage…

He saw an old grandpa grinning at him from a minivan. Anthony quickly looked away. He was hoping to meet someone his own age. Why would someone old enough to get into a gay bar come here anyway? He didn’t get it. Each time he worked up the courage, he looked at a different car and away again. It wasn’t until he saw a cherry-red sports car that he allowed himself to stare. The guy behind the wheel had dark hair beneath a baseball cap and a five o’clock shadow on his strong chin. He was probably in his early twenties. He wore sunglasses that were currently pointed in his direction. Anthony quickly turned away when the man nodded at him, but then forced himself to look again. The man nodded. Then he smiled.

Anthony felt his cheeks burning as he smiled back. His palms were sweaty where they gripped the edge of the wooden bench, his heart thudding so hard that he could hear the rhythm in his ears. He kept waiting for the man to get out of the car and come talk to him, but he never did. They both stayed where they were while exchanging little signals, Anthony laughing at one pointbecause he felt so ridiculous. The man smiled again. He sure seemed nice.

Unsure what to do, Anthony stared at him and shrugged. The man moved his arm, resting it on the rolled down window. So subtle that it could’ve been missed, he gestured with his finger, like Anthony should come over. Taking a deep breath and hoping his legs wouldn’t shake along the way, he got up and walked toward the sports car. Anthony stopped while still a few paces away.

“Hey,” the man said.

“Hi,” Anthony replied, his voice sounding strangled.

“You’re cute.”

He felt a thrill at the confirmation. Not about his appearance, but that this was the right place. Straight guys didn’t say such things to each other so casually. Or at all. “Thanks,” he replied, his mouth strangely dry. “You’re really hot.”

The man flashed perfect teeth. “Come here. I won’t bite.”

Anthony walked over to the car window. The first thing he noticed was how much older the guy looked up-close. He wasn’t ancient or anything, but the skin of his face was rough, and he had crinkles around his eyes that the sunglasses didn’t manage to hide. He was probably in his forties. He was still handsome and had a nice body. That was what Anthony noticed next. The man adjusted his seat and leaned back, just a few inches, as if to give him a better view.

Anthony’s eyes moved over the strong chest covered by a skin-tight T-shirt down to jeans that were already undone. The guy had his cock out and was waving it back and forth. It looked massive, like a miniature version of the memorial tower that ended in a nest of dark hair. As often as Anthony had fantasized about seeing another guy naked, he was beginning to panic.

“Hop in,” the man said. “We can go back to my place.”

“Uh…” Anthony said as he backed away. “I have to um… I really gotta pee.”

It was the only thing he could think to say. He turned around and started walking away on stiff legs. He felt like running, but he managed to resist the urge until he was on the grass that led downward into the rest of the park. When he saw a jogger cutting across the field, he decided it wouldn’t look so out of place if he did the same. Anthony ran until the parking lot was lost fromview and he’d reached one of the paths. Then he began walking along it while his anger at himself steadily grew.

He felt so stupid! And grossed out. When would he ever have another chance like that? Then again, the dude had been around the same age as his father! And who the hell sat in a car with their dick out? Is this what it meant to be gay? Would he end up doing the same thing, honking and leering at any cute guy he saw? For now, he was disappointed. In both the situation and his reaction to it. He felt childish. If the same thing had happened to Omar, and some older woman had lured him to her car window so she could flash her beaver, his best friend would have gone home with her. Probably. Anthony tried to imagine what would have happened if he’d gotten in the car. The guy had only seemed to have one thing in mind. Wasn’t that what he also wanted?

He thought about the date with Mindy, erasing her and Silvia from the day’s events. It would’ve just been him and Omar, running around Westport, shopping together, eating, seeing a movie, buying silly rings, and kissing while wearing them. Afterwards, when they returned home, only then would they have slept together. Maybe that wasn’t possible for gay people. Anthony sure as hell didn’t see anyone living such a life. And yet, it was what he wanted.

“Skylar?”

Anthony looked up and felt the blood drain from his face. A guy was standing a couple paces away and peering at him with earnest blue eyes. They both went to Pride High. Anthony didn’t know his name, but the friendly face and bright smile had caught his eye in the halls before. And it was only a matter of time before the other guy recognized him too. He was already trying to figure it out.

“Is your name Skylar?” he repeated.

Anthony shook his head and looked farther down the path. He could feel his cheeks burning and imagined how red they must be.

“Are you sure?” the guy asked, “because you—”

“Yes I’m fucking sure!” Anthony snarled before standing and striding away. He cut across the grass again, not stopping until he reached a road. He didn’t know where it led, but he continued to follow it until certain that he’d put miles between him and the stupid cruise park.

CHAPTER 16

October 5th, 1992

The first thing Ricky did when he got home from school on Monday was to rush upstairs and turn on his computer. He did a pee-pee dance while it was booting up, despite not needing to go. A split second after the command prompt had appeared on the screen, he typed everything necessary to call Side Streets BBS and discovered that two other people were online. He hurried to the chat room, but Cameron wasn’t there. Just like he hadn’t been the day before. Or on Saturday, when they were supposed to meet.

Sighing, Ricky went downstairs and got a drink. He trudged back up to his room and plopped down in front of the computer, swiveling back and forth in his chair while ignoring the attempts other users made to interact with him. He was about to give up when someone new appeared. It was Cameron!

Ricky instantly sent him a request for a private chat session. A minute passed. Then another before Cameron finally accepted. He didn’t bother with pleasantries, desperate to finally explain himself.

SKYLAR99: Hey! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t able to make it.

CAMERONX: I noticed.