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“Fine! Whatever!”

They glowered at each other, but anger was a frequent guest star in their lives as of late, and neither was shaken by its sudden appearance.

“My brother mentioned a clinic once,” Anthony said. “He was scared that he’d gotten his girlfriend pregnant and— You didn’t dothat, right?”

Omar shook his head. “It didn’t go that far.”

“Okay, well, Mike was worried about our parents finding out. The clinic was anonymous. I remember because I tried getting him in trouble for it, but he was bulletproof. There wasn’t any evidence.”

“Perfect! Can you find out from him where it is?”

“Yeah,” Anthony said with a sigh. Mike would probably make him beg for the information. And he’d want to know why.Anthony would need a good cover story. Maybe he’d let Mike think it was him that had potentially knocked up some girl, just so his family didn’t get any other ideas. “You probably don’t have anything to worry about. How many people at our school have AIDS? Are there any?”

“Better safe than sorry,” Omar said. “I’d hate to give it to someone else. Are you uh… still okay with sleeping over?”

Anthony made a face and laughed. “Oh please! I’m not worried about sleeping next to you.” No more than usual anyway.

Omar breathed out in relief. “Crazy times, huh?”

For one of them. Anthony felt like he was being left behind in the game of love. The solution was obvious. Omar had already suggested it. He just wasn’t sure if he could make himself go through with dating someone he didn’t actually like.

They continued walking and had looped around to the playground when someone jumped off the swings and headed straight toward them.

Yasmin looked an awful lot like her brother. She shared his raven black hair—although hers was pulled back into a ponytail—and had the same thick eyebrows. Three years younger than them, she had just begun junior high.

“Mom sent me to look for you.” Yasmin said this like it gave her authority over him. “You have to come home.”

“Why?” Omar asked while attempting to get her into a headlock.

She deftly ducked out from under his grip. “Because we’re going out to eat.”

“Nice!” Omar said. “I hope it isn’t the seafood place again.”

“I want pizza,” his sister replied, “but I don’t think we get a vote.”

Anthony fell in line beside them as they began the walk home. He didn’t have to ask if he was invited, having dined at restaurants with Omar’s family more than his own. Only a special occasion could make Anthony’s parents spend that kind of dough. He didn’t have much of an appetite at the moment, although he did feel a strange sort of hunger. He tried not to dwell on the reason why, but he noticed—to his dismay—that it seemed to increase each time he looked at Omar.

CHAPTER 8

September 12th, 1992

The morning sun was bleeding in from around the edges of the black curtains, providing just enough soft gray light to see by. Anthony yawned and was momentarily confused before recognizing where he was. Omar’s room. They were still in bed. He could hear his friend’s slow breathing from next to him and knew he wouldn’t stir. Not until Anthony got bored and woke him up. That’s how it always went.

He rolled over onto his back and thought about the events of the night before, the memories making him smile. After eating at a steakhouse, Omar had insisted they film a comedy sketch. He’d been inspired by an annoying customer at the restaurant who had loudly complained, “This steak isn’t raw enough!” They recreated the scenario once home, filming at the dining room table downstairs. Omar had played the angry customer. His sister Yasmin was the waiter, complete with a drawn-on mustache. As for Anthony… When the waiter returned with a steak that was supposed to be rawer, it was actually a living cow. That was his role. They had drawn cow spots on a plain white T-shirt and gelled his hair into two bull horns. They’d even found a small bell and ribbon to tie around his neck. The customer still wasn’t happy, even as he pretended to cut into Anthony’s stomach, which involved a lot of ketchup as fake blood.

“This steak isn’t raw enough!” Omar had shouted.

“Moo!” Anthony kept replying.

Maybe it wasn’t that funny, but it sure made him laugh. Especially when he had to wash all that ketchup off his stomach afterwards. It felt like old times, the concerns of the day forgotten. Until they went to Omar’s room. He insisted on playing some of the new music Silvia had turned him onto, a dreamy expression on his face the entire time. Maybe he was thinking of how good the blowjob had felt. Did it happen while they were listening to Mr. Bungle? Is that why Omar was so into the album?

Anthony felt the same confusing mixture of emotions. Anger, disgust, fear… He swallowed against the bitterness and tried to make sense of the feelings, one by one. Fear was the easiest. Anthony spent so much time with fear these days that they might as well move in together and make it official. He blamed high school, which was all about status. The only winning strategy was not to care, and man did he try, but he still worried about keeping up. Omar was probably on the verge of losing his virginity. Anthony might not ever have sex with another person. Although the fear went deeper than that.

I don’t want to lose him.

To what? A girlfriend? Anthony’s parents still had a social life despite being married. At most, he’d spend a little less time with his best friend than he preferred, which wasn’t a big deal. And yet it sure felt like one. What if Omar decided he liked her more than him? Then they’d never see each other, except at school. He hated the idea of giving up any of the fun they had together for some random girl. Especially one who sucked off complete strangers while at work.

Disgust knocked on the door, demanding to be let in. That was a tougher one to figure out. The idea of Omar getting a blowjob wasn’t gross exactly. The opposite in fact, but it bugged Anthony regardless. Why? He took a deep breath and searched inside himself, uneasy with the answer he found: Omar deserved better. Having sex for the first time, even it wasn’t all the way, was still a major milestone. It should have happened with someone who actually loved Omar as much as…