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“Hey, it’s alright, man. Calm down,” Hunter said, rubbing Sinner’s shoulders. “We’ll get through this.”
“Get through this? I don’t want to get through this!” he cried, almost a little too much like a woman. “I want my dick back. I want my muscular body and my devilishly good looks!”
“Is this some kind of sick joke?” Lola asked, her arms crossed over her chest. “Why are you doing this?”
“We just woke up like this!” I insisted.
“And you,” she turned on Ryan. “Why are you going along with this?”
“Going along with what? You don’t see them?”
“Of course I see them! I see three women.”
“I see three men!” he countered.
“And you don’t think it’s weird that one of them’s pregnant?” she retorted.
Ryan’s brows furrowed as he thought about this. “I guess you’re right. Maybe it’s something I drank.”
“You think? Because there is no way that three grown men would be sitting in our kitchen—one of them pregnant—and all of them wearing women’s clothing with tits hanging out!”
I dropped my head in my hands and sighed. “I really need to blow something up.”
“See?” Lola pointed at me. “Now, if anyone is going to say that, is it Maggie or Cap?”
Ryan nodded. “You’re right.” Shaking his head, he sat down on a stool. “I don’t feel so well. I think I should go to the doctor.”
“No kidding,” Lola snapped.
Sinner snorted. “If he needs to go to the doctor, then so do we. Maybe a psychiatrist or a psychologist?” He turned to Hunter. “Which one is the head shrink?”
“They’re both head shrinks,” he mumbled. “A psychiatrist might have us locked up though.”
I felt pressure in my belly and a tightening that felt like that weird labor pain test we did back in Colorado. “Oh shit.”
“What’s wrong?” Lola asked.
“I really do need a doctor.”
“Get in line,” Hunter grumbled.
“No, I mean I need a doctor because I’m going into labor.”
I looked up at Sinner and Hunter, all of us staring at each other with terrified expressions. If we didn’t figure this out fast, I was going to be giving birth to a kid through my vagina that shouldn’t be there.
“Okay,” Hunter said, his voice laced with panic. He started flapping his hands like a girl, his distress greater than mine. “Don’t panic. Don’t panic.”
“Don’t panic?” I screamed incredulously. “I’m about to have a baby, and I’m a man!”
“What are you talking about?” Lola asked. Shaking her head, she walked toward me like a scared cat. “Maggie, you’ve been through this so many times before. You’re going to be fine.”
“Stop calling me Maggie,” I snapped. “I’m Cap. I run Reed Security. I have a wife and a shit ton of kids, but I am not about to give birth to one!” Turning to Hunter pleadingly, I cried, “You gotta help me, man.”
“I don’t know what to do!”
“You’ve done this a million times before.”
“No,” he shook his head rapidly. “Hunter’s done this a million times before.”