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“What are you talking about?” I asked irritatedly.
“Think about it…All the times we’ve wanted to touch our wives but they wouldn’t let us. We have free rein to do it now.”
I stared at him for a moment and then slapped him upside the head. “That’s what you’re thinking about now? We’re in bodies that don’t belong to us and you’re thinking about sex?”
“Hey, Mark is very talented with his hands.” He slapped his hand over his mouth, shaking his head. “Did I just say Mark?” I nodded, confused as hell. “Oh my God. It’s like I’m turning into her. Is my hair still the same? Please tell me it’s not long.”
“No, but you still have a vagina and boobs,” Hunter pointed out.
“What are we going to do, Cap?” Sinner asked. Then he winced. “Please tell me you’re not going to make me help deliver that baby. I can’t handle seeing a man’s vagina.”
I suddenly felt very dizzy. If I didn’t figure out what was going on soon, I was going to end up delivering this kid. I wasn’t cut out for that kind of pain. Was this some kind of fucked up universal payback for the meeting yesterday about Maggie? It was meant with the best of intentions. I just wanted her to be safe for her delivery—not take on her body and do the job myself!
As the three of us stood in my driveway staring at each other, I knew nothing would ever be the same.
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath and pressing my hand to my chest. God, it felt like I could barely breathe. “Okay, what would old us do? Let’s think about this.”
I started pacing, but it didn’t last long before I was out of breath again. I started fanning myself as a heat wave washed over me. Was this really what it was like to be pregnant? Thank God it happened to women and not men. We were built for war and hunting, not birthing babies and carrying around extra weight—unless it was from carrying someone out of a war zone.
“Cap,” Hunter said, his voice pitching. He cleared his throat and tried to lower it. “It occurs to me that if we’re in the wrong bodies, then so are other men on the property.”
“Yes!” Sinner shouted, jumping up and down and clapping.
I slammed my hand down on his shoulder and glared at him. “Remember, deep down you’re still a man.”
“I can’t help it, Cap,” he whined. “Cara’s taken over. I can hardly see a glimpse of the man I was.”
“But we’re going to fix that,” I reassured him…her. “Okay, Hunter’s right. There have to be others like this. We just have to figure this out.” I glanced around the property, wondering who to go to. “Cazzo!”
Hunter’s shoulders sagged and he kicked his foot at the ground. “But that’s all the way at the other end of the property. I don’t want to go that far.”
“Wolf,” Sinner pointed to Craig’s house.
“Seriously?” I stared at him. “You want to go to the man who stalked his wife, tricked her into marrying him, and then kidnapped her to marry her?” I said, thrusting my hand on my hip. When I saw it, I pulled my hand away and tried to take a more manly stance, but it was hard with this huge belly.
“He’s right,” Hunter sighed. “Honestly, I think we should go see Ryan,” Hunter griped. “I know it’s far, but Ryan has enough manliness to be like Oh my gosh, this is really horrible, but also Lola’s there.”
“Oh my gosh, this is really horrible?” I asked, my voice pitching high to mimic him.
“Hey, I can’t help it. I’m in a woman’s body! Deal with it!”
She…He stomped off toward Ryan’s house. Sinner and I followed, not really knowing what else to do. I watched in fascination as Sinner tiptoed through the tree line, wincing and crying out when he stepped on a twig. “That really hurt! And I just had a pedicure. This is not how you take care of your feet!”
Hunter spun around and glared at Sinner, throwing his hands on his hips. “Oh yeah? I just had my hair done. Do you have any idea what it’s like to wake up to this,” he gestured to his hair, “and have no idea how to take care of it? I look like…like a man tried to do my hair!”
“A man did try to do your hair,” I said, trying to calm him down. “We have to remember, we’re still Hunter, Sinner, and Cap. We just…Fuck, I don’t know. This is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened. We just need to figure this out.”
“And if we can’t?” Sinner asked, a hint of fear in his voice.
Standing tall, I put on my bravest face, though my chin wobbled slightly. “Then I know where the grenades are. Come on. Let’s get in the car. I’m freezing my tushy off in this nightie.”
A chuckle came from behind me and I spun around as best I could. Hunter and Sinner were staring at me appreciatively.
“What are you staring at?”
“You really know how to pick out clothes for Maggie. Damn, Cap. You look hot in that nightie.”
I marched over to Sinner and slugged him across the jaw. “Don’t talk about my wife that way!”