Page 2
Story: Playing With Fire
“I know!”
“Excuse me,” I interrupted again. My target was growing smaller in the distance. “I really need to get past you.”
“So, I sat in the bathroom and cried for half the night, hence the bags under my eyes. Ugh, I hate it when men make me look like a marshmallow.”
Having had enough, I shoved between them, ready to set things straight. “Alright, as much as I agree with you on all of this, you’re completely missing the point.”
“Excuse me?” the woman scoffed. “This is a private conversation!”
“Then you shouldn’t be having it on a public sidewalk where anyone can hear you. Look, if you want your husband to really get irritated, the key is to act like nothing is wrong. When he starts getting mad at you, you chuckle and say, Okay, you be mad about that.”
“But I was mad at him.”
“Right, and that gets women so far in life,” I scoffed. “Men’s brains are like sieves. They filter the information they want, which usually includes football and sex. Anything else is completely unimportant to them. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.”
I shoved past them, ignoring their snide remarks about how rude I was. Maybe they were right, but I didn’t have time for them when a man was on the run. I barely caught a glimpse of him turning the corner, but he was almost half a block ahead of me now. I speed-walked down the sidewalk, pushing people out of my way, completely ignoring my training. I couldn’t lose him.
I rushed to the end of the block and searched down the side street, but he was nowhere to be seen. Damn those women. I headed down the sidewalk, searching for him everywhere, but he was gone. Admitting defeat, I leaned against the building and sighed, closing my eyes as I caught my breath.
“Looking for me?”
I jumped, nearly having a heart attack. Damn, being pregnant was really throwing me off my game. I turned around and punched Sinner in the shoulder.
“What the hell was that for?”
“Why were you following me?”
“Because you’re planning something.”
“Aren’t I always?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.
“Yes, but this time, I know it’s about me.”
“And why would you say that?”
“Because you’re avoiding me like the plague.”
“I always avoid you when you’re pregnant. I’ve seen that coochie a few too many times for comfort.”
“Yes, but this time, you’re whispering in corners with your boyfriend.”
He rolled his eyes, leaning against the building. “Your husband is not my boyfriend.”
“No, but he might as well be. So, what is it this time?”
“Who said there’s anything being planned? Maybe we’re just making sure everything’s ready for your impending delivery.”
“You’re trying to escape. Do you really think you can pull something on me?”
He sighed heavily. “Look, this has nothing to do with you. We’re just making sure things are in place for when you blow.”
“I’m not Mount Vesuvius.”
“No, more like the Yellowstone supervolcano that hasn’t erupted yet. Trust me, we all want to be as far away from you as possible when this explosion happens.”
I narrowed my eyes at my friend, ready to kick his ass. If only I could lift my foot that high. “You know, I could just as easily tell Cara that you want more kids.”
“Yeah, she wouldn’t believe you. Besides, that train has left the station. Remember? I got the snip.”
“Excuse me,” I interrupted again. My target was growing smaller in the distance. “I really need to get past you.”
“So, I sat in the bathroom and cried for half the night, hence the bags under my eyes. Ugh, I hate it when men make me look like a marshmallow.”
Having had enough, I shoved between them, ready to set things straight. “Alright, as much as I agree with you on all of this, you’re completely missing the point.”
“Excuse me?” the woman scoffed. “This is a private conversation!”
“Then you shouldn’t be having it on a public sidewalk where anyone can hear you. Look, if you want your husband to really get irritated, the key is to act like nothing is wrong. When he starts getting mad at you, you chuckle and say, Okay, you be mad about that.”
“But I was mad at him.”
“Right, and that gets women so far in life,” I scoffed. “Men’s brains are like sieves. They filter the information they want, which usually includes football and sex. Anything else is completely unimportant to them. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.”
I shoved past them, ignoring their snide remarks about how rude I was. Maybe they were right, but I didn’t have time for them when a man was on the run. I barely caught a glimpse of him turning the corner, but he was almost half a block ahead of me now. I speed-walked down the sidewalk, pushing people out of my way, completely ignoring my training. I couldn’t lose him.
I rushed to the end of the block and searched down the side street, but he was nowhere to be seen. Damn those women. I headed down the sidewalk, searching for him everywhere, but he was gone. Admitting defeat, I leaned against the building and sighed, closing my eyes as I caught my breath.
“Looking for me?”
I jumped, nearly having a heart attack. Damn, being pregnant was really throwing me off my game. I turned around and punched Sinner in the shoulder.
“What the hell was that for?”
“Why were you following me?”
“Because you’re planning something.”
“Aren’t I always?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.
“Yes, but this time, I know it’s about me.”
“And why would you say that?”
“Because you’re avoiding me like the plague.”
“I always avoid you when you’re pregnant. I’ve seen that coochie a few too many times for comfort.”
“Yes, but this time, you’re whispering in corners with your boyfriend.”
He rolled his eyes, leaning against the building. “Your husband is not my boyfriend.”
“No, but he might as well be. So, what is it this time?”
“Who said there’s anything being planned? Maybe we’re just making sure everything’s ready for your impending delivery.”
“You’re trying to escape. Do you really think you can pull something on me?”
He sighed heavily. “Look, this has nothing to do with you. We’re just making sure things are in place for when you blow.”
“I’m not Mount Vesuvius.”
“No, more like the Yellowstone supervolcano that hasn’t erupted yet. Trust me, we all want to be as far away from you as possible when this explosion happens.”
I narrowed my eyes at my friend, ready to kick his ass. If only I could lift my foot that high. “You know, I could just as easily tell Cara that you want more kids.”
“Yeah, she wouldn’t believe you. Besides, that train has left the station. Remember? I got the snip.”
Table of Contents
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