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I quickly looked over my body. I was me—not in Giulia’s book. I laughed to myself, even though I was naked. It seemed not everything came back with me to this reality. Clearing my throat, I covered my junk. “I, uh…was about to get laid.”
“And you left?” Maggie asked. “I thought you wanted that?”
“I did,” I said urgently, “but she was dragging me out of bed to fight. I knew she was going to kill…Francesca.”
“Francesca?” Cap asked.
“Well, I don’t actually know her name. Giulia hasn’t given her one yet.”
“What happens now?” Ice asked.
I turned to the screen and nodded to Knight. “Let’s fight back.” With a final look at me, Knight hit the delete button erasing the words on the screen. The others gasped, covering their mouths as we waited for retribution.
“I can’t believe you just did that,” Gabe said in horror.
“Someone had to stand up to her. Have you forgotten about all the things she’s made you all do? Have you forgotten about the waxings and the tantric yoga? Is this really the way you want to continue living your lives?”
While I was making my speech, Giulia started to write again. She was back to the gunfight, but dammit, I wanted to get laid. Nudging Knight aside, I took his place at the keyboard. I was a slow typer, but I would get my point across.
“Are you ready for my seed? I’m gonna fill you up and make babies with you.”
“Wow,” Maggie nodded. “That’s the worst line ever.”
“I know,” I said, turning with a grin. “The point isn’t to write something better than her. It’s to let her know I’m here and I’m not leaving anytime soon.”
I waited with bated breath, but nothing happened. The cursor blinked over and over, never giving us new words.
“Maybe you scared the crap out of her,” Chance snorted. “She probably thinks she’s hallucinating.”
“Possibly,” I answered, cocking my head to the side as I waited.
“Should we take a different approach?” Burg asked. “Maybe we should write something really outlandish.”
I rolled my eyes as I looked at him. “I just talked about my gigantic pole. I’m pretty sure she knows I’m here.”
As ever, Cap was the voice of reason. “What if instead of writing, she checks herself into an insane asylum? What if you’re driving her mad?”
It wasn’t possible. There was no way I’d freak her out that much. “No, Giulia’s a fighter. There’s no way she’ll give in just from this.”
“She’s not responding,” Knight said. “I think she gave up.”
“I’m telling you?—”
Bullets flew outside and I dove for Maude…
“Maude?” I reared back in disgust. “She thinks she’s going to name my love interest Maude?”
“She’s screwing with you,” Knight said, jerking his head at the screen. “You have to change it.”
Taking a deep breath, I steeled my spine and deleted her words, replacing them with my own. I sank inside her and called out her name. “Penelope!”
“Penelope?” Cap snorted. “I would have gone with something more realistic than that. You could never get a Penelope.”
“I could get a Penelope,” I argued.
Sinner shook his head in disagreement. “Dude, I could get a Penelope. You could get a…” He looked me up and down, then shrugged. “Maybe a Susan.”
“Susan?” I shrieked. “Are you freaking kidding me? I’m way better than Susan.”