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Just as I’m right about there, the goddamn dog I never wanted jumps right on my back and barks in my ear. I hate this dog.
“Goddamn it.” I sigh, rolling to the side and pushing the dog on the floor. With my arms resting on my stomach, I move them to my face, exhaling heavily, scrubbing them over my tired eyes. “At some point, I’m going to have sex with you again without all these distractions.”
Madison laughs, her hand resting on my stomach. God, I wish she’d put her hand lower and rid me of this need I know is going to drive me crazy all day long.
I peek one eye open at her. “I’d settle for a hand job at this point.”
She laughs and removes her hand. “We can’t. It’s already almost seven. We’re gonna be late.”
Fuck.
“You go take a shower,” I tell her, sighing. “I’ll get the kids ready.”
I wait for my hard-on to go away, which is depressing as shit because why waste a hard-on? I then go downstairs to see Callan putting Evie in her high chair and Noah getting cereal off the floor. At least he put it in a bowl this time.
Rowdy’s right next to him eating Captain Crunch with him.
Smiling at them, I turn to Callan and Evie. He’s now reading a book on nuclear bombs to her.
I scratch the side of my head and reach for the coffee filters in the cupboard. We moved into the new house right before Evie was born in November. We’ve been here about six months now, and I can honestly say, it’s a lot more comfortable than our old house.
“Should you be reading that to her?” I ask Callan when I sit down with a cup of coffee at the table.
He shrugs and continues to read. “This is information she needs to know.”
Noah gags on what I think is dog hair in his mouth and then goes back to eating his cereal. I nudge his butt with my foot and he sits up to look at me. “Don’t drink from the toilet anymore.” We have to tell him this like twice a week. His doctor says it’s not horrible, but he shouldn’t be doing it. If you ask me, it’s worse than gamma radiation.
“Why?” he asks, staring at me with a look of complete confusion.
I can’t believe I’m having to explain why toilet water is disgusting. “Because it’s gross.”
Rowdy licks the side of Noah’s face. “No, it not. Rowdy do it.”
“He’s a dog though. He licks his own ass and doesn’t know the difference.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have said the last part?
Undeterred by anything I’m saying, Noah points to his chest. “I Wolverine.”
And we’re back to that. He’s four now but still hasn’t outgrown the Wolverine stage. He might be going to college someday and asking girls out by growling and telling them he’s Wolverine. And you know what, they’ll probably buy it and be all over him.
Madison comes downstairs, her hands on my shoulders. “Do you want to take a shower before work?”
I nod, standing up to drag my body against hers. She sighs, her lashes lowering as her lips part carefully. It’s a shame we didn’t get to finish because all I can think about is those lips wrapping around my dick. “You could join me.”
She kisses me, once, and then pulls back. “I can’t. I have to get these kids fed and the boys to school.”
Noah started pre-school and if we thought Callan’s tactics to display his annoyance for school were creative, Noah’s pretty simple. He bites everyone. We’re thinking of home schooling him until we can, you know, get him to stop. But let’s look on the bright side here, at least he never draws blood.
Did you notice Madison didn’t mention needing to get to work herself?
We both agreed, mostly me, she didn’t need to be massaging and waxing nut sacs anymore. And the new house was an hour drive from the salon, so that solved that problem. And you know, three kids are a handful, especially when one’s a baby. Don’t believe me, you can watch all three of mine for a night and I’ll take my wife out.
And I know what you’re thinking, I had her quit her job because I didn’t want her cradling dicks all day. Well there’s that, but no, I didn’t have her quit her job. She did that one on her own.
Judging by the look on your face, you’re also thinking, what did her quitting solve? She was upset you were never around.
Well guess what? I work less these days.