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“It’s for prostate orgasms,” Steve repeats, with absolutely no regard for the fact that Jason didn’t need for him to repeat his words. “A what?” is code for him simply saying, what the fuck? But nicely. But Steve doesn’t get code. Or sarcasm.
You knew it was going there, didn’t you? Admit it. I won’t think anything less of you. No judgment here. Hell, I don’t even care that Steve stuck a vibrator up his ass. Sorry, a prostate stimulator. I guess there’s a difference—per Bonner. Not sure what, but I do not care. This will not be something I try. I swear. It’s not like him handing me a little blue pill and saying trust me, it’s for your wife. If anything is going up my ass, it’s… well, fucking nothing.
Landon stands on the other side of me. He sighs, his brow furrowing. “What the fuck is he talking about?”
I eye him, unsure if he’s actually talking to me. The quarterback to the Seattle Seahawks is talking to me. Can I sell myself on eBay?
“Uh, yeah, well,” I shift my weight and try to act as cool as I possibly can next to him. “That’s Steve so yeah, probably serious.”
He shrugs and lifts the beer in his hand to his lips, smirking. “Jesus Christ.”
“Pretty much.”
Kelly makes her way over to me, her hand snaking around my waist, her cheeks red when she realizes who’s standing near us. I laugh. “You nervous, honey?”
She hushes me by putting her hand over my mouth. “No.”
Landon reaches for her hand. “I’m Landon.”
My wife practically jumps on top of him. “I’m Kelly.”
“She’s my wife,” I feel the need to add. He smirks. Kelly glares. “I’m just pointing that out in case you find the need to leave with him.”
Landon laughs as he shakes her hand. “I have a girlfriend.”
I’m not completely sure on this one, but I think my wife frowns. I let it go because Revel introduces himself next and if I think my wife is into football players, I’m wrong. She’s clearly a fucking groupie.
She giggles like a goddamn teenager. “I’m Kerly… I meanKelly. I… uh….” She’s stammering over her words and fidgeting. “I love your song “Roses of Revenge” you did with Taylan Ash.”
And that’s where Revel crumbles again. His posture changes at her name. I know why. I watched the YouTube videos on him destroying a stage in front of thousands. Let’s just say, I’d never mess with this guy.
Kelly notices and smiles, her chest pushed out like she’s trying to show her tits. I’m no longer paying much attention to them because Steve is demonstrating what he means by a prostate orgasm in hand movements. I know, what the fuck, right?
Oliver makes his way over to me, ketchup all over his cheeks and a football in hand. He tosses it in the air and smiles. “Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s a prostate?”
My eyes shift to his. “No idea.”
Eventually I pull my wife with Revel stars in her eyes away. I take her face in my hands. “You stop looking at him like that.”
Kelly laughs. “You don’t really think I’m into a rock star, do you?”
I smile. “I wouldn’t let you.”
Her eyes find mine, and only mine. “I loveyou.”
“You better because the only reason I’m friends with Steve is because of you.”
She bursts out laughing. “Is he really talking about butt plugs?”
I shudder. “I don’t want to talk about it. But Sevi just peed on a little girl’s like so we should go deal with that.” She looks back at Revel who’s standing next to Landon, talking. I pull her toward me. “Together.”
No way am I leaving her alone with them.