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“No, honey.” I wink at her, my eyes drifting back to Madison.That’s right, I called another woman honey. How does it feel?“I’m good.” And then I smile at Thomas. “Hope you had a nice time with my wife.”
Yeah, I throw in my wife because it’s a title I’m sure as shit confident he’ll never hold with her. But then again, am I?
Thomas clears his throat. “Ridley, honestly, it’s my fault. I was just telling—”
I shoot him a murderous glare and cut him off. “Was I talking to you?”
His jaw tightens, working back and forth as he keeps one hand on his beer. “I think you’re overreacting.”
I slam both my hands down on the table in front of them, leaning in. “Am I?” I look at Madison. “Am I?”
Madison’s head jerks back in disgust, completely appalled at my behavior. “Ridley, stop it. You don’t have to be such a jerk. I was just catching up with him.”
Standing up straight, my eyes drift to her wedding ring, and then to her eyes again. “So spending time with him is better than trying to make our marriage work? I waitedthirtyminutes before the counselor, who I might add is a bitch, told me we had to reschedule tomorrow.” The thought that I’m not good enough for her to rememberwhywe’re here in the first place punches my heart, gives my blood a rush as it pumps through my veins.
Madison doesn’t say anything. She just stares at me with these wide glassy eyes that scream she’s sorry only I’m so pissed I don’t see the apology in them. I see her choosing him over me.
I’m pretty good at digging the knife in and twisting. Just watch. It gets worse.
I hold her weary stare for a long beat. “What? Nothing to say now?” I nod once, and then shrug, but my shoulders feel so heavy it’s hard to do. My whole body is rigid and stuck in a moment I can’t escape, one where I’m not even sure about the words coming out of my mouth except that they are and I can’t stop them. “You know,never mind. I’m not even sure why I came looking for you because it’s clear you never had any intention of making this work.”
I can’t tell you why Thomas is my breaking point, he just is. Or maybe it’s the fact that I keep trying to fix this and she’s not doing a goddamn thing to help me out.
Turning around, I draw in a heavy breath and then begin walking back to the hotel. I’m not sticking around for this crap. Why am I the only one trying? If she’s not going to make an effort at all, why am I continuing to put myself through this bullshit?
Here’s another buffalo fun fact for you. When hunted by humans, cape buffalo have a reputation for circling back on the hunter and attacking them. They attack with their heads up and at the last minute, lower their head to deliver a bone-crunching crash.
Where’s a fucking buffalo when you need one.
“Goddamn it, Ridley, slow down!”
I don’t.
I can’t.
I won’t anymore.
The sky is restless above us, thick black clouds dragged down by heavy rain. I feel exactly like those clouds, sick of trying, wanting to let go. I stare at the sky hoping maybe by some chance a bolt of lightning will hit me in the fucking heart and put me out of my goddamn misery.
It’s then the sky opens and dumps two inches of rain in a matter of minutes as we’re crossing the courtyard to the hotel lobby. Maybe not two inches but with the amount of water coming down, I can barely make out the hotel doors.
“Ridley,” Madison yells from behind me, her footsteps splashing in the puddles against the stone courtyard. She reaches out to grab my arm to whirl me to face her, but I resist and keep walking. “Will you please stop?”
I turn around once we’re in the lobby, both of us soaking wet, water dripping from every part of our body. People around us gasp, some stare, but they haven’t seen anything yet.
Look at us, both of us drenched, clothes clinging to our bodies, hair matted to our heads, but it’s the look in our eyes that should shock most. Mine one of confusion and anger, hers of desperation, finally. It’s a look I haven’t seen in a while.
She steps in front of me, but I look past her, through her, like she’s not even there. She opens her mouth to try to say something, but I ask, “Why?Whydo you want me to stop and listen? I mean seriously, what the fuck? You missed the appointment to have drinks with your ex?”
“It wasn’t like that. I was coming back from my spa appointment and ran into him. He asked if I wanted to have a drink and catch up, so I did, thinking I had some extra time. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
I laugh. Not because what she’s saying is funny. I laugh mostly because I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “Are you fucking him?” Maybe I shouldn’t have asked that. The look on her face tells me I shouldn’t have, but to be honest, I’m so far gone at this point there could be a neon sign blinking in my face telling me TURN BACK and WRONG WAY yet I wouldn’t have noticed. “Did you tellThomas Deanthe reason you dumped his ass in the first place was because you were fucking me? Does he know that?”
Her cheeks flush and maybe, and this is a strong maybe, she wants to kill me for asking that. “Go to hell, Ridley.”
I laugh, again. But it’s more like a hard chuckle, and I fight the urge to clap slowly. “You filed for divorce. Pretty sure I’m already there.”
She stiffens. “Just because I forget one appointment doesn’t give you the right to treat me like this when you’ve basically been absent these last five years working and forgetting you had a family at home who loves and needs you.”