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Story: Kiln Me Softly

This work began as a traditional Nordic-patterned tea set made from porcelain that I destroyed in a moment of despair. I had tried too hard to design something I believed other people wanted to see, and had failed my own individuality and passion for the craft in the process. So, when I picked up the pieces, it became a symbol of so much more, and wouldn’t have existed if I didn’t have a network of people who have supported me through a difficult time. That’s why, beyond fixing the cracks with the Japanese arts of kintsugi and yobitsugi, I incorporated pieces of them into my work. The rough, textured coils of my vessels represent yarn as a tribute to my best friend’s passion for crochet. The flowing shapes and vibrant greens of my linked set of vases show a place a dear friend told me about once: a waterfall in France where they feel most at peace. The bookends,one a hamster and one a toadstool, are inspired by my own small pet, who has made my journey a less lonely one. And my bowl has been placed inside two sculpted pairs of overlapping clay hands as a symbol of my healing process. Putting myself back together has been a group effort, but I have found an intimate, supportive love to lean on through it all – even when I’ve been reluctant to let it in.

As Aiden tried to process the words, Luc ran a gentle finger over the red bridge that linked together a pair of vases. ‘This looks just like Buttes Chaumont,’ they whispered.

Juniper nodded with a wobbly smile. ‘You told me in Stoke-on-Trent that it was the place you used to visit to escape the city, something that’s hard to do here, so…’

‘Juni.’ Tears shimmered in Tilly’s dark eyes as she admired the yarn-like textures of her candle holders. They’d been glazed in sunset yellows and oranges, mimicking the brightness Tilly radiated as well as the colours she wore most often. ‘These are so beautiful.’

‘You’ve been such a good friend to me, Till,’ Juni replied. ‘Even when I snotted all over your clothes and broke your plates.’

‘I forgave you for that almost right away, you plonker.’ Tilly hugged her, then went back to admiring Juniper’s work.

She looked at Aiden expectantly, and he wished he could find something to say that would convey just how beautiful the hands moulding the bowl were. She’d even added a freckle of brown on one of the knuckles, just like his. It reminded him immediately of the first time they’d thrown together, hands intertwining so that he hadn’t been able to tell which belonged to him and which belonged to her.That moment had changed so much between them.

‘I couldn’t think of a better way to tell you,’ she said, dipping her chin nervously.

‘Tell me what?’

‘That I love you, too. That I couldn’t have done any of this without you. That I’m sorry I’m stubborn and difficult and—’

He didn’t ever want to hear her put herself down again, but especially not after what she’d just said, so he cut her off with his mouth on hers, kissing her softly. Their fingers laced together just like their clay hands, and he smiled to think there would always be a version of them entwined now. She’d made them a little part of pottery history.

When he pulled away, she was rosy and wide-eyed, the most vibrant piece of art in the room. ‘Stubborn, yes, but not difficult. In fact, I find it pretty fucking easy to love you, Juni. And it’s not just us who have put you back together. You did the same for me, too. I don’t think I knew who I was until you showed me again. Everything that I lost during the hardest time of my life, I found again with you – and so much more.’

She rested her head against his thundering chest, arms snaking around his waist. Tilly and Luc had disappeared to let them have their moment, and even Coco had joined them, which meant the former had shrunk into her coat.

‘Well, well, well,’ came a voice behind them. Aiden turned with Juniper still at his side to find Chris beaming proudly. ‘I had a feeling you might rustle something together in the end.’

Juniper’s face darkened a hair, but she smiled back. ‘Fancy seeing you here. Did you come to see my boring piece lose?’

Aiden squeezed her waist in reassurance, a reminder he was there if she needed him, though he knew she was more than capable of handling the tension herself.

‘I came to see you what you’re capable of when you’re not trying to fit the mould,’ said Chris.

Juniper hummed, but softened. ‘You were right. That last piece wasn’t me. I realised I’d rather lose with something I’ve put my heart and soul into than try to win by being like everyone else.’

‘Everyone else is boring.’ He inched forward, observing the display from a new angle. ‘This is outstanding work. Your tutor must be great at his job.’

‘Unfortunately, he is. Even if he’s mean sometimes.’

‘Perhaps he could learn to deliver criticism a little more gently.’ He patted Juniper’s shoulder. ‘You’ve done RACA proud today, Juniper. Well done.’

The compliment clearly meant a lot to her, because that crinkle of worry at the corner of her mouth finally ironed itself out. Just in time, too. Delia, the grey-haired woman who had become familiar after watching her as a guest judge onThrow Downtook to the stage, asking the contestants to gather around for the winner’s announcement. Aiden’s grip moved back to her hand as they inched closer to the small stage, his stomach fluttering with anticipation. She had to win. While there was some real talent in this room, he hadn’t seen anybody pour their heart into this the way she had. Perhaps he was biased, but still.

‘Every year,’ said the judge, ‘we see more and more talent emerge from this competition, and while that’s wonderful, it also makes my job very difficult.’

Everybody laughed, minus Juniper, who was gripping Aiden’s hand hard enough that he could feel his knuckles beginning to crunch together.

He gritted his teeth and whispered, ‘I sort of need my hands, sweetheart. Y’know for pottery. And other things you seem to enjoy.’

‘Sorry.’ She let go, shifting on her feet. Her grown out fringe danced across her forehead as she blew out a long breath, and all he could do was draw soothing circles at the bottom of her spine as Delia continued.

‘All of these pieces will remain on display for the next month,’ she said, ‘and while everybody has done such a wonderful job, it’s time to announce the runners up, each of whom will win a brand-new throwing wheel and set of ceramic paints.’

Third and second place went to two worthy contestants, one of whom had made a collection much like Juniper’s pre-smash, and the other a coffee set inspired by the seasons.

Juniper picked at the skin on her lip. ‘They were way better than me. There’s no way I have a chance.’

Aiden shook his head. ‘I can’t wait to sayI told you sowhen you win.’