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Story: Kiln Me Softly

‘Is probably broken. Like my plates.’ Tilly didn’t sound angry, just devastated. Somehow, that made it worse.

‘Tilly, I’m so sorry,’ Juniper whispered.

‘I know. You’re going through a lot. I just wish…’ Tilly shook her head and closed her eyes. ‘Never mind. Go home. Get some rest. I’ll watch the pit and pray to the kiln goddesses for us both.’

‘They might be fine,’ Aiden provided, but he didn’t sound sure.

Juniper hadn’t been joking about falling into the pit before. She would have quite happily stepped in and let the fire ruin her like it was their pieces if she thought it might make things right. Tilly had worked hard on those plates, and she’d been so excited to see what would happen with her copper wiring and recycled yarn.She didn’t deserve this. She’d been nothing but wonderful to Juniper.

‘C’mon, Juni. Let’s get you home.’ Aiden nudged her, grabbing her backpack from Tilly and slinging it over his shoulder. Juniper didn’t know what to say.

I’m sorrydidn’t feel like enough. She walked away from the fires feeling even worse than she had before.

25

‘I’m a shitty friend,’ Juniper murmured as they zig-zagged across campus. Well, Aiden zigged while she zagged, barely able to walk in a straight line. Her wan complexion broke up the darkness of the evening, and her breath fell from her in visible, jagged clouds that made Aiden anxious. He was sure it was just a cold, a virus at worst, but with the disaster of the pit-fire, he wasn’t sure if she was completely okay – or, really, if she had been at all since she’d gotten back to London.

He didn’t know how to help her, either, not when she kept tearing her arm away and snapping that she was fine.

‘Don’t say that,’ he said, a little sterner than intended. ‘It was an accident. We’ve all made mistakes like that.’

She scoffed. ‘Yeah, right. Except you don’t. Nobody else, either. It’s always me who fucks everything up.’

He sighed, helping her up the steps as they reached Chaplin House. It had a more Victorian air compared to the rest of campus, with red brick walls and a chimney rising from the second storey. The door was a solid black arch, one Juniper struggled to open after scanning the ID on her lanyard, so he grabbed it for her quickly. ‘Again, not true.’

Though he could admit, disaster did seem to follow her wherever she went. It was usually outweighed by other things, though: her humour, her rough edges and soft centre, her brilliant light. He couldn’t quite describe it, which was probably why he sometimes tried to put it on paper instead. She wasn’t necessarily warm or friendly like the people he’d dated before, but she didn’t need to be. She was far more interesting, and far more frustrating, as she was. Far more beautiful, too, at least until she sneezed into her sleeve.

No,hissleeve, because she was still wearing his coat. It hung off her shoulders and fell past her wrists, making her look even smaller than he was used to, and for a moment, he could almost convince himself that it meant something. That, the way he was hers, she was also his.

‘Remind me to burn that coat in the pit later.’ He followed her up the steps to the first floor. As far as uni halls went, this place was pretty standard. He’d stayed in something similar at Elmington in an attempt to make friends, and the echoing, narrow corridors and tiny ensuites had driven him mad.

‘Sorry,’ she said, sounding more congested than ever. Her teeth still chattered. ‘I’ll wash it at the laundrette.’

‘I was joking, Juni.’ When she wouldn’t look at him, he took her wrist and tugged her to face him. ‘Oi.’

‘What?’ she groaned, all glassy-eyed and hoarse.

‘It’s okay to fuck up. Cut yourself some slack. Tilly will forgive you.’

‘I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t.’ But he could tell her resolve had weakened by the way her eyes glistened as though she was about to cry. He hoped she didn’t. He wouldn’t know what to do,how to make it better, and hewantedto make it better.

She turned away from him and continued down the corridor, right to the end. ‘You can go back to your pit-fire now, anyway.’

‘No chance. Not until I know you’re all right.’

She huffed, rooting for her keys, and then stopped dead at her door. A yellow sign had been tacked there with a handwritten note.

Please report to the accommodations office at your earliest convenience.

‘Oh, god, no.’

‘That’s a bit ominous.’ He ripped the sign off to get a closer look, but all he could find was a strange illustration of what might have been a dog or a horse. ‘What’s this supposed to be? Is someone messing around with you?’

‘No. Maybe. I think that might be a hamster.’ Her hands shook as she turned the key, and Aiden frowned.

‘Why would someone draw a picture of a hamster?’

The door swung open, revealing a messy room strewn with clothes and textbooks on every available surface: navy carpet, the desk chair, the nightstands.