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Aiden yanked his hand away, shaking off the sting. The thing had razor-sharp teeth for such a tiny animal. ‘He’s almost as violent as you.’

He almost won a smile with that. Almost. She sank back on her heels and finally looked at him. ‘Thank you, Aiden. I don’t know what I would have done with him otherwise. It really means a lot, that you’d take care of him.’

His heart stuttered with something warm and hopeful. ‘Of course. Anything, Juni. Really.’

‘I’ll miss not having him in my room.’ She slumped into the nearest seat on the couch, adding life to the cream furniture even with her dark clothes. Her hair, knotted from the wind, cascaded over one shoulder as she rubbed her eyes tiredly. ‘Gets lonely in there, even with Tilly next door. Then again…’ Sadness flickered on her features.

‘Then again, what?’

She shook her head. ‘Nothing.’

‘You can talk to me, y’know.’ He sat beside her, finger twirling through her hair softly. The smoky scent of the fire clung to her, to them both, along with the fresh damp of outside. She leaned into his touch, a revelation in itself.

‘I can’t.’ It was whispered, but it still stabbed through him like needles. Her voice was thick, close to tears again.

‘Why? Why can’t you?’

‘I’m just so sick of fucking everything up all the time. Even when I think I’m doing something right, it still all falls apart around me. And I can’t keep blaming my ADHD for the fact that everything is such a fucking mess. And I can’t keep blamingyoufor it, either, because it turns out you’re actually not the devil’s spawn after all, which is highly inconvenient, by the way.’

‘Um, sorry, I think.’ Aiden arched a brow, trying to piece it all together. He might have been offended, but he was more focused on the other thing.

ADHD. He supposed it made sense. At the exhibition, she’d gotten distracted by each new piece of art to the point of interrupting one sentence to start another, and it was no secret that she wasn’t the best at managing her time. He couldn’t remember knowing that about her in high school, but when he’d been researching his mental health problems, he’d read that symptoms manifested differently in women for all sorts of things, neurodivergence included. Perhaps focusing on her art and keeping that ferocity intact had been her way of masking.

‘And also, I feel like shit,’ she continued, words merging together in a rush now. ‘My head hurts, and I can’t feel my legs, and everything is just bad, Aiden. I think this has actually been the worst day of my life, and I’m only being a smidge dramatic about it. And you know what’s fucked up?’ Her eyes locked on his. ‘You’re the only one who makes me feel okay about it.You. It was never supposed to be you!’

It was everything he’d ever wanted to hear, but now he didn’t know how to respond. Could only sit in silence, heart pounding, as he tried to resist kissing her until her tears stopped.

She threw her head down to her knees – then paused when she got close to the coffee table. He’d left his sketchbook there, open on the page she’d seen the other day. The page of her. It wasn’t the only one, either. Beneath, he’d started painting the same figure, her, her back turned with a piece of art framed in front of her the way it had been at the museum. He’d wanted to remember that evening, the way she’d absorbed herself completely in it all. Problem was, he could never get her shape right. She wasn’t someone who belonged on a page. She was too alive for it. A sculpture might have been better, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever be talented enough for that.

‘And you’ve been drawing me,’ she said quietly after moments of suffocating silence. ‘Why have you been drawing me?’

‘I told you. I’ve been feeling inspired.’

She closed her eyes, sucked in a deep breath. ‘Aiden, you’re not my boyfriend.’

It hurt, but he’d been waiting for it. ‘Do I need to be?’

‘You’re buying me concert tickets, and drawing me, and looking after my hamster, and taking me home when I’m sick.’

‘And are those somehow defining factors of a relationship? Should I change my Facebook status toit’s complicatedor will that come during the inevitable custody battle for Cerberus?’

She slapped his chest playfully, then leaned back on the couch with her head twisted to look at him. Her lids were heavy, face still far paler than he liked. ‘Stop.’

He leaned back, too, faces inches apart. ‘No. I don’t care what I am to you, Juniper, as long as I get to be something.’

Her mouth downturned as though it wasn’t a suitable answer, and yet she didn’t fight it. Didn’t say anything.

He couldn’t help but feather his fingers across her scalp gently, smiling when her lids fluttered shut. ‘I’ve felt like you do now before. At Elmington.’

‘When you weren’t well.’

It wasn’t a question, but he nodded anyway, though she wasn’t looking at him. It was only right to be honest with her, now that she was being honest with him.

‘I struggled there. With my mental health. I was miserable. Studying a course I didn’t want to because I thought it would make my dad happy. Pretending to be friends with people who only cared about me because of my last name. I was so fucking alone, Juni. I didn’t have anyone, and I was so depressed that I didn’t even make it to class most days.’ He dragged his ring up and down his thumb anxiously. ‘It was like I couldn’t get a full breath, couldn’t keep going, even when I tried to force myself to. And I didn’t know what was wrong with me,which made it scarier. I couldn’t trust anything I knew anymore. Not my body, definitely not my mind. When I fell behind…’ A thick swallow. ‘My dad found out, and he said things like you’re saying to yourself now. And it took me a long time to convince myself they weren’t true. In fact, I’m still working on it. Even with therapy and medication and every coping mechanism under the sun, I can still feel it surfacing in me every now and again.’

Her hand found his chest, like she was trying to heal the part where it hurt most. He covered it with his own, feeling light-headed and strange – but free, somehow. He’d never told anybody but his therapist just how deep he’d sunk. But seeing the way Juniper was tonight, the way she beat herself up, he trusted her. Hoped maybe he could help her to feel less alone. Be the person he’d needed back then.

‘I had no idea you went through something like that,’ she admitted.