Page 57

Story: Kiln Me Softly

He shrugged. ‘Didn’t want you to. Didn’t want anyone to.’

‘When Owen was questioning you about your dad at the museum…’

‘My anxiety isn’t always predictable, but I feel worse when I’m around people who want to talk about my dad, who seem to have already put me in a box. I feel suffocated, like I’m back there, at Elmington, with people who don’t really see me, and… it’s terrifying. I never want to go back to that place.’

‘I’m so sorry that you suffered that way.’ She traced his jaw gently. ‘But I see you, Aiden.’

He knew. He could feel it, like light flooding through areas that had only ever been in shadow before. He leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead,glad when she sunk into him, head against his chest. ‘You always have. Even my shitty parts.’

‘Especially your shitty parts.’ She pulled away, and he had to restrain himself from tugging her back. For once, he wished they could just stay slotted in place. ‘You’re going to catch my cold.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘You will when you can’t remember what it feels like to breathe through your nostrils.’ She yawned, covering her mouth. ‘I should go.’

‘Or you could stay,’ he suggested. ‘You’re exhausted, and I’m pretty sure I saw books all over your bed, whereas my bed is comfortable and bookless.’

‘Show off.’ But she didn’t need telling twice, grabbing the fleecy throw from the back of his couch. ‘I’m not staying in your bed, though.’

‘Because I’m not your boyfriend?’ he teased, helping her spread the blanket over her curled, clammy body.

She nodded, getting comfortable against him again. His arms curled around her waist on instinct, frightened she might disappear if he didn’t hold on.

‘But this couch is quite comfy,’ she murmured finally.

It wasn’t for him, the arm digging into his back and her thigh pinning his knee in an awkward position, but he didn’t care.

As long as she was here and okay, he would endure the rest.

Even if he wasn’t her bloody boyfriend.

26

Since Juniper still felt awful about the pit-firing disaster, she snuck into the cooling room and stole Tilly’s cracked pottery during her free period that Friday. Tilly had another job interview at a vintage clothes shop she was desperate to get, so Juniper knew she wouldn’t be caught.

By her, at least. She’d only just gotten comfortable on her usual stool in the workshop when Chris sauntered through the door whistling a tune that could have been ‘The Wheels on the Bus’ or ‘Dancing Queen’ by Abba. Or neither.

He stopped short at the sight of Juniper and her glue, quick to cover his mouth with his sleeve. ‘Is it safe in here, or are you still contagious?’

‘If I say I’m still ill, will you leave me alone?’ She was still distracted by all things funding, made worse by the fact that she’d been too sick to work her last two shifts. Finally, the cold was shifting, but it had wiped her out good and proper. Enough that she’d fallen asleep at Aiden’s again last night after cleaning Cerberus and making sure he was fed. She wasn’t sure she could trust him to remember, but the hamster had seemed happy enough. Perhaps it would be just another thing she was wrong about when it came to him.

‘You’re meaner than usual,’ Chris pointed out,approaching her desk with narrowed eyes. ‘I don’t like it.’

‘Well, lucky for you, you may not have to put up with me much longer.’ The words slipped from her before she could stop them, just like the super glue from the nozzle, which she was currently using to fix Tilly’s plates.

Above the thick frame of his glasses, his bushy brows pinched. ‘You’re not dropping out.’ He said it like it was a fact; like Juniper couldn’t possibly.

She supposed there was no harm in telling him. Perhaps he’d surprise her the way Aiden had and at least offer some advice. Maybe he knew about different, cheaper courses she could take next year, or better yet, perhaps he could have a word with the finance team.

Or maybe he would dance up and down with glee at the prospect of her leaving, and that would at least make it easier to say goodbye.

‘I might not have a choice. They’ve frozen my bursary, and without it, I can’t afford to stay for the final term. I’ve been taking as many extra work shifts as I can, but waitressing isn’t exactly going to cover my tuition.’

‘I heard about that. It was a shitty move to pull, even if the college is having money problems.’ He shook his head, surprising her with his sour words. ‘What? I do have some human empathy. Not a lot, but some.’

Maybe they were more alike than Juniper had realised, with their bluntness and dry sense of humour. Juniper shuddered to think it,but the feeling of missing something she hadn’t yet lost left her gut sinking. This course was hard, and she wasn’t sure she was cut out for it, but she’d wanted to try. She’d wanted to prove to her mum, to anyone who had ever mocked her or belittled her, that she was capable of the same achievements people like Aiden and Tom were. That people without money behind them could do the things they loved, too.

Now, it felt like her best days at RACA were already over, and all of them had involved Aiden and their project. Even at the exhibit, she hadn’t been able to completely enjoy herself, and Mum hadn’t cared about the brilliant grade she’d strived to achieve, just for her.