Page 71
Story: Kiln Me Softly
‘It isn’t about my feelings for her,’ he gritted out, though it was only half the truth. Of course he wouldn’t go to these lengths for a stranger. But even if he’d never kissed her, never fallen for her, he was certain he would want to help her anyway. She was too talented, too good of a person, to not deserve it. He would have done it for Luc if they’d needed it. Tilly. Any of his classmates, bar perhaps Tom. ‘I’m trying to make something right.’
Jonathan’s eyes rolled as though he couldn’t possibly believe Aiden. Bitterness flooded Aiden’s tongue. The man sitting in front of him had no idea who he was. He had no idea why Aiden had dropped out of Elmington, or that he wasn’t a fickle child anymore. Even when Juniper had seen the worst in him, it had never been to this extent.
He’d never felt more hated than when he was in front of Jonathan, not even by himself. And, fuck, he had hated himself plenty.
There must have been something in Aiden’s gaze that called to Jonathan, because his resolve melted away, drip by drip,until the creases in his forehead finally smoothed. He adjusted his tie, scraping his tongue across his teeth. ‘All right. I’ll make a few calls. But you’re correct in thinking that I expect something from you in return.’
Aiden scraped at the scab on the edge of his thumbnail, pink and peeling from months of picking. ‘What?’
‘You’ll come back to work with me next summer,’ Jonathan said. ‘Remind our clientele that this is a family business. That I raised my son properly.’
It was ridiculous, and the thought alone left him nauseous, but…
But he had to. For Juniper. He could survive one more summer with his father, couldn’t he? ‘If that’s what you want.’
‘It should be whatyouwant. This is your last chance to prove yourself, Aiden.’ Jonathan’s nostrils flared. ‘If your venture into pottery, of all things, turns out to be just another failed whimsy of yours, I refuse to be embarrassed by you again. My support isn’t unconditional, and it’smyname you drag through the mud when you lark around in London.’
Aiden’s tucked his fists under the table to hide his white knuckles, working to keep his breaths even.My support isn’t unconditional.Wasn’t it supposed to be? Wasn’t that what family was?
Not his.
He would just have to take the win, even if it meant enduring this humiliation.
‘I understand, Dad,’ he uttered tightly, each word feeling like another serrated slice against his tongue. ‘Thank you.’
He hoped to god it was all worth it.
33
‘See? Told you he’d love it.’ Juniper watched Aiden dust off his hands, both delighted and slightly annoyed that he’d been right about Cerberus’s new toadstool home. Putting it in his cage was the first thing they’d done upon arriving back in London, and Cerberus had wriggled straight through the ceramic arch to get comfortable inside.
His cage was spotless, food and water supply topped up generously. Clearly, Alfred Pet Sitter was a very goodfriend.
She perched on the edge of Aiden’s couch as an intense wave of gratitude washed over her. Gratitude, and something she didn’t want to name, even if it was the strongest emotion she’d ever felt: a thrum she couldn’t tune out, reverberating deep in the very pit of her. It was stronger when she looked at him, saw his lopsided smile, mussed hair, and unshaven jaw. Stronger still when she saw the way his throat bobbed and his eyes faded, like he was holding back something that hurt.
He’d been quiet on the train home; she could only assume lunch with his dad hadn’t gone well. Not wanting to bring it up in front of their friends, she’d held his hand under the table instead,and then went back to helping Luc with their crossword book.
But now they were alone, and she didn’t know how else to be there for him than to simply ask what he needed.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘About what?’ He closed Cerberus’s cage and looked anywhere but at her – until she pinched the hem of his hoodie and dragged him closer.
‘About your dad. About what he did to make you sad.’
‘I’m not sad, Juni.’ He cupped her face as delicately as he might porcelain, clearing the errant wisps of hair from her face so he could see her better. ‘How could I be sad when I’ve finally got you alone?’
The obvious attempt at distraction almost worked, especially when he kissed her with none of his usual hunger. A kiss that saidI don’t want anything but this, here, now.
She curled a leg around his waist, looping her arms around his neck. She shouldn’t have been here, wasting precious time that might have been spent on her contest project, but god, she was exhausted, and the warm, spiced citrus scent of his living room suddenly felt like the safest place in the world. She was running out of reasons to push him away, worried Tilly had been right: their differences meant nothing when they were together like this. If he needed her, and she suspected he did, she would just have to stay.
‘You can talk to me, Aiden,’ she reminded him when he drew away. ‘Was he shitty to you? Do you want me to fight him?’
‘That, I would like to see.’ He laughed, but it soon ebbed. ‘I’m just coming to terms with the fact that nothing I do will make him love me.I went along with everything he asked of me for the first nineteen years of my life. It got me his approval, but not much more, and it made me miserable in the long run. Now, I’m doing something that feels right, that feels true to me, and all he sees is all the ways I’ve failed.’
She knew the feeling. Her own failures chased her around in everything she did, and they were currently nipping at her ankles. Sometimes, a person just needed to be told they were doing a good job, especially from their parents. She couldn’t imagine a father not being proud of someone like Aiden. He poured more and more care into his art every day, and beyond that, he was a pillar for the people around him. Someone she was learning to trust, even if she was reluctant about it.
‘Maybe he doesn’t deserve to see you succeed, then,’ she suggested gently. ‘You shouldn’t have to do anything to be loved by him. It’s kind of what parents are supposed to do, without conditions attached.’
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