Page 48
Story: Kiln Me Softly
Shewasthat oblivious. They’d agreed that they were just two students forced to partner up, prone to accidental sex now and then. Sure, that sex was the best Juniper had ever had, and maybe they did have fun together even outside of it, but a part of her had suspected that she’d been more of a convenience for him. He could get anybody he wanted, and they no longer had an excuse to keep at it.
She wiped the sleep from her eyes as she tried to conjure a reply. Her mind was blank, heart doing all the talking with its thuds against her ribs.
‘Still with me?’ Aiden murmured after long moments of silence.
‘Barely,’ she admitted. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘You could just say,Thank you, Aiden. I’d love to see my favourite band with you.’
She could say that, but it felt like admitting defeat. All this time she’d spent fighting her better instincts, fighting her feelings for him, trying to convince herself that their connection meant nothing… If she went back on that, what did it say about her? That her instincts were wrong? That she could push all of her standards and morals aside for a man if he was nice enough to her?
But maybe he’s different now,an annoying voice in her head niggled.Maybe you should let the past go.
Even so, summer was months away. ‘Isn’t it a bit presumptuous of you, to plan so far ahead?’ It was difficult to imagine him still liking her next week, never mind in six months’ time.
‘I’m committed to the cause,’ he replied without missing a beat. Almost like he’d expected her to say it.
She took a deep breath. This was too much, too fast, and there would always be that siren in the back of her mind warning her not to get so close. He was still his father’s son. Still capable of trampling all over her little life like he had two years ago. ‘I’ll think about it.’
Aiden hummed in amusement. ‘Is it my turn to beg?’
The space between her thighs tingled. She imagined him in front of her, fingers roving her bare shoulders the way they always did, like he never got bored of exploring her skin. Maybe she was right. Maybe she should just give in. She couldn’t imagine what it might be like to let him in in more ways than just physical. Would he like her, underneath all of the snark and barriers, or would he see her for what she really was: lost, afraid, bitter?
And what about him? Who would he be if she stopped finding all the bad in him? If she saw the good instead? She’d seen glimpses of it: in their project, in the way he respected her, listened to her, when they were together.
‘It always was,’ she said finally, softly. ‘I told you I don’t beg.’
‘Liar. I’ve heard plenty of begging from you.’
‘I hope you’re not trying to initiate phone sex at’ – she checked the time on her phone – ‘ten o’clock in the morning.’
His laughter echoed down the line, making her smile, too. ‘No, but I’m glad that’s where your mind went.’
A knock sounded at her door, likely Mum letting her know she was heading out for a shift or groceries. Juniper grabbed her jumper from the corner of the bed and said to Aiden, ‘I’ve got to go.’
‘Of course you do.’ He sounded as disappointed as she felt, enough that she wondered if he really did like spending time with her. She hadn’t taken him seriously when he’d said it before, convinced he’d just wanted to have the freedom to touch her without prying eyes.
It was that that left her to quietly say, ‘Thank you, Aiden. For the tickets.’
‘Is that a yes, then?’
‘It’s a maybe.’ She smiled into her hand. ‘Have a good Christmas, okay?’
A pause. And then: ‘You, too, Juni. Call me when you’re home.’
The call cut off, but his words still floated in the air around her.Home. London wasn’t home. For either of them. Yet he’d stayed, claiming that there was no reason for him to head up north for the holidays. Avoiding his dad, still?
At least it put some space between them. Juniper needed it to sort out her messy brain. Make a real decision about whether she’d be willing to give Aiden a fair chance, even if her heart had already tried to do it for her.
Another, louder knock sounded at the door, and she huffed.
Juniper yanked her fleecy pyjama jumper on to contain her vest escapees. ‘Come in!’
When Mum stepped in, Juniper smiled and re-opened her laptop to show her the news. ‘Guess what? We got a high mark for the exhibit project!’
She didn’t know what she’d expected. In an ideal world, maybe an apology for not believing in her, or a teary-eyed,I’m proud of you, love.Mum offered neither, instead giving a pleased,vague nod. ‘Very good. This came in the post for you. Doesn’t look very festive.’
She handed over a white envelope Juniper didn’t like the look of with her name and address printed on the front. Juniper used her nail to peel the envelope open, groaning at the formal format. It was likely phone bills or…
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