Page 90

Story: Hold Me

“I need to go to the restroom,” I say, barely able to keep myself upright, while stumbling downstairs. My heart beats so fast, it makes my head dizzy and my chest tight. It’s hard to breathe, so hard to breathe. Everything around me seems to look dimmed all of a sudden, while spinning around me all the same time. It’s getting so fucking hard to breathe.

I need some fresh air!

*ADEN*

There is much more stuff to go through in my desk’s drawers than I thought. I am just glad Lynn and Noel took over in the attic. On my own, this would have taken me days. While I am sorting through some papers, my phone vibrates. It’s a message from Oliver, which reminds me it has been a while since he wrote to me.

Hi Aden, just wanted to check in with you, to see how you are doing. Everything well? Hope Noel is well too.

Wow! Who would have thought, Noel telling him off, would be the one thing finally making Oliver rebuild some bridges. It’s the first time in ages that he isn’t trying to pressure me into meeting him or Kayden or one of the others.

And now?

Do I want to remain distant?

I sigh. If I wanted to completely cut them off, I would have done that already. I have never blocked them.

I am fine, thank you for asking.

I wonder if I should ask something in return, but I don’t truly feel like it. To me, it’s already quite a big step to reply at all. Putting my phone aside, I dive right back into my paperwork. The amount of stuff I have collected in the drawers is insane. For someone who is so nitpicky and organized at his work, I do have quite a chaotic, personal research table. I guess I have always worked differently as an artist than I did as a gallerist.

“Aden?”

I look up to see Lynn, her eyes are clouded in worry. “Did something happen?” I gaze outside, noticing the sun is setting. “Matao said he’d come around, didn’t he?” Hopefully, he didn’t cancel. I know she has high hopes for this relationship, and I do too. Mateo seems to be a good guy and a much better fit for Lynn than any of the other guys she dated during the last couple of years.

Also, Mateo is a better fit than Oliver was, and to be fair, he wasn’t too bad as her boyfriend. It means that Mateo might actually be the right guy for her.

“Mateo is on his way. He sent me a message a couple of minutes ago.” Lynn pauses. “It might be nothing, Aden, but… I… fuck, I don’t know.”

Now she certainly has my attention. “Where is Noel?” I ask.

“How did you know that’s what this is about?” she exclaims.

“A feeling. Where is he?”

“I don’t know. He went to the restroom an hour ago,” she explains. “I am sorry, I was so deep into the work that I didn’t notice how much time passed. Then I thought he might be with you, but—”

“He isn’t,” I say. A weird sense of deep calm fills me. It’s not a good feeling, though, it’s the type of calm that I usually forced forward when something in my life was going awry and I needed to cover it. “Tell me what happened, please.”

“We were going through your paintings and chatting. Maybe I talked too much, Aden. I if I did, fuck, I am sorry. I had no idea.”

“Why, what did you tell him?”

“About Oliver and me, and how much better you are today in comparison to back then, and especially in comparison to your time with Emil.”

“You talked about Emil with him?” I ask.

“Shouldn’t I have?” she asks, sudden panic on her face. “He knew his name, so I thought… Oh fuck! He had no clue, did he? I swear, I didn’t say anything bad about you, and we just talked about Emil briefly.”

“Lynn,” I put the papers in my hand away and grab her hands. “Don’t panic. I can’t have you lose your nerve now. You did nothing wrong. You couldn’t have known. Just tell me exactly what you said about him, okay?”

Lynn does, telling me step by step what they talked about. She was right when she said it wasn’t an awful lot. Just my best friend being happy that I am so much better in this relationship and have picked up drawing again. She probably thought Noel knew more than he did. It’s my fucking fault that he was unaware about everything, I probably should have been open with him much sooner.

“I am not even the gossiping type usually,” she exclaims. “I just wanted to show Noel how well the two of you fit together. I am so sorry, Aden. I didn’t mean to gossip about you or anything.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I mutter. “You just chatted with my boyfriend. What you said isn’t even anything big, just the basics.”

Something triggered Noel, I just know it.