Page 19

Story: Hold Me

“I just don’t think I have much to offer.”

“Why do you say that?”

“My debt, my lack of time because of two awful jobs, I have roommates despite not being a student anymore, the sleazy bars I am working at, my shady past. And—”

“Noel, you are overthinking this. You have a lot to offer. Instead of shooting down the possibility of a hot, decent guy being into you, why not just message him and give him a chance? Get to know the dude! You always complain how everyone justwants to get you into bed. Now there is a guy who actually wants to know more about you. That’s what you were always waiting for.”

I take Aden’s card in my hand, looking at it. It doesn’t help that he is the guy who saved my life. He can’t remember, so maybe that’s good. But I have definitely put him on a pedestal, and now I am supposed to reach out and sully this perfect person with my presence and with my shitty problems.

“You will regret it forever if you don’t do it,” Emma adds. “You are into him. Anyone with a brain can tell. It doesn’t matter if you are insecure or not. Give yourself a chance. Talk to him, meet him, see where it leads you. Maybe your feelings were wrong, maybe he just wants to be friends. No one can tell that. But if you won’t even try, you will have to live with that forever.”

*ADEN*

I guess I have the ball now.

I look at the message, my amusement growing when Noel sends a GIF, immediately afterwards, with a little animated blob hitting a tennis ball.

“What are you grinning at?” Lynn asks.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? You are staring at your private phone. You never grin when you receive a message there.”

“Yes, because usually it’s family.”

Originally, only Mom had my private number, but eventually my brothers got it too. I guess it was inevitable. The only other person who has this number is Lynn, and now Noel.

“Exactly! Which makes me wonder what it is that makes you grin like an idiot. Can’t be me, because I am sitting here, and unless you haven’t handed out your number.” She pauses. “Wait a moment, you did!”

“Lynn—”

“You gave someone your number, and it can’t be one of your shallow affair partners, because you never give them your private number.” She gapes. “Unless you are sick, and this is your doctor writing to you.”

“Would I grin then?”

“If he has good news, maybe.”

“It’s fucking weird how your brain works, yet somehow it makes sense. But I am not ill, and this is not a doctor.” I pause. “It’s a guy.”

Lynn stares at me. “No way!”

“It is.”

“I don’t believe you,” she says. “It’s been years since you let anyone sneak into your phone. You are absolutely anal about your phone number. The only two people you handed it to are your mom and me, and then your mom spilled it to one of your brothers, and you got even more private with it. You are the only person I know who usually handles everything via work phone.”

“Maybe you are right,” I hear myself say.

“About what? You being anal about your phone number?”

“That too, but maybe also about what you said the other day. Me and my dating, and how I don’t seriously try for a relationship, but just go for men who I know won’t interest me enough to give them a real chance. Shallow relationships, you know?”

“And this guy is different?”

“He definitely is different.”

“But?”

“I don’t know yet,” I say. “I don’t know if I want to pursue him. He is interesting, though.”