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“What?! I am nothing like the guy in the picture! You and Ster need to get your eyes tested, or you are completely delusional.”

I snort. “Argue all you want, but what Ster sees when drawing you, it’s there. But it’s not all there is to you.”

Noel has opened his mouth, probably to argue some more. But, he just looks at me, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just part of you that he draws, not all of you. You are still a whole person. There clearly is more to you than Sterling draws.”

“And that’s bad, right?”

His words take me by surprise. “Why do you think that?”

“Because you are only interested in me due to the drawing. Meeting me in person must be a huge disappointment.”

My God. I pinch the bridge of my nose, wondering once more what I got myself into. For a moment, I see Emil through my inner eye; he had a similar sass, but was much meeker. Something about that realization puts me at ease.

“See, I annoy you already?” Noel mutters.

“A little,” I admit. “But that’s what makes it interesting.”

“Me being a pain in the ass is interesting?”

“Yes,” I say. “For years I have only dated guys…” I pause. “Guys like me, I guess. Obviously, I wasn’t interested in any of them. Until my best friend pointed out I was just running in circles.”

“So, that’s why you are here?”

“No, it’s just what made me brave enough to finally escape the loop I am in.” I pause. “And to answer your previous question: Just being my artist’s model would not be enough for me to meet you in private. I was intrigued by ‘Shades of Blue’ because Sterling captured something deep and real. It’s not been you who pulled me in, but his raw talent.”

“Really?” Noel asks curiously. “He is good, isn’t he?”

“He is fantastic. An unpolished diamond with lots of potential.”

“So, if it’s not because of the drawing… and not just because of your friend’s comment…” He frowns.

“I approached you in the gallery because I was curious about the man Sterling drew. I gave you my number because you are the first person, in a long while, who I find interesting enough to engage with. I agreed to this date because I wanted to get to know the real you, and I am still here because you showed some honest vulnerability with me.” I pause. “There is just something about you that makes me throw all reason aside.”

I almost expect him to get upset. I am very much aware that not everything I said is a compliment, however, Noel surprisesme by nodding thoughtfully. “I guess I am throwing away a lot of reason, too.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” He pauses. “Maybe part of me wanted you to run tonight.”

I figured that much. Tests like these are usually a way to keep their distance. “You wanted me to be the one to run and prove to you that no guy will stick around.”

“Maybe. But then you came and stuck around, and fuck, suddenly I felt so stupid. And weird, like I wasn’t sure anymore what the fuck I am even doing. Does that make sense?”

“It does.”

“Why did you run in circles?” he suddenly asks. “What you said earlier, about always dating the same type of guys…”

“I had an ex-boyfriend years ago, who…” My voice trails off while the usual whirlwind of emotions and anxiety grasp me whenever I think of Emil.

“Sorry for asking,” Noel says. “I didn't tell you all my secrets either. It’s okay. You don’t need to answer.”

“Maybe when I know you better,” I muse.

His head perks up, hope in his eyes, as he widens them and smiles nervously. Suddenly, he looks so incredibly adorable. I didn’t know he could look like that. “Does that mean you want to meet me again?”

“There is an exhibition next Saturday,” I say.