Page 64

Story: Hold Me

“I have never thought about that.” I muse. “I could talk to DeeDee.“ I stop, thinking. “Wait a moment! I could actually talk to DeeDee and ask if she can recommend a place. I’d love to work at a drag queen bar! It could be fun.”

It’s only when I say it that I realize I am actually considering changing my workplace. Yes, I do earn well right now, because I work more hours than I should, and because I work two jobs, but if my debt can truly be taken care of, I will be able to actually pick a job I like.

“Yes, exactly. And they probably pay better, and you would have the option to attend some courses like you planned to.” He pauses. “What did the lawyer say? You met yesterday, right?”

“He took a look at everything and told me to leave it to him,” I say. “He thinks I have a good chance.”

“Of course you have,” he points out. “It’s fraud. You are a victim.” He gazes at me. “You look conflicted. Does it not make you happy that you can finally get rid of this debt?”

“I am happy, but I also feel guilty,” I admit. “Does that make sense?”

“It does,” Aden says quietly. “I know the feeling.”

“It means going against my mom. But at the same time, it’s… I just want to be free, you know? I want to be free, so much!”

“Her mistakes are not your fault,” he says. “She used you and took advantage of you, and now it’s time she pays for what she did. Listen, Noel, I know it’s hard, and I know part of you might be hoping to get your mom back, but—”

“But it doesn’t work like that,” I finish. “I know it. She has been gone for many years. In fact, I only remember a very short time when she was truly a mom. I need to let go. I also know I need to show some backbone finally. I… I might feel guilty, but I can promise you that my wish for freedom is greater than my feeling of guilt,” I admit. “I want a new start, a new beginning, and I am ready.”

I haven’t had a mom for many years.

It’s time to face the truth and take charge of my life.

“You are much stronger than you think you are,” Aden says, much to my surprise. “The way you lived your life up to now,how you took charge of it and broke out of your toxic family. It showed a lot of strength.”

“You think so?” I let his words sink in. No one has ever told me I am strong, not even Mateo or Ster. Or maybe they have, and it just didn’t strike something in me. Somehow, when Aden says it, it’s like a warm blanket that protects me. His opinion really matters to me. I don’t know when it started to but I know it does.

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” he says.

And that’s exactly why his opinion matters to me. He is very kind and treats me well, but he doesn’t toss around compliments. So, when he compliments me, it always means something.

Maybe I should take him at face value about his comment on my singing voice, too.

A bar with live music, huh? DeeDee surely could recommend me to someone. She always hated where I work and has constantly told me to change jobs. I stick in these jobs for the money, but now I might not need to do that anymore.

“Almost there.”

Aden successfully pulls me out of my thoughts, making my head snap up to check our surroundings. “I didn’t even realize we arrived! Felt shorter than it was.”

“I take that as a compliment,” Aden smiles. “As in, you enjoy my company.”

“I do! We should do this more often.” I scrunch my nose. “Well, not visit your hometown, but go on a trip.”

Aden looks surprised before a warm smile curls his lips. “I actually think that’s a great idea. Let’s plan something for the next holiday. What’s something you have always wanted to do?”

“Go skiing,” I tell him. “I never went skiing. Do you know how to?”

“Yes, it’s almost mandatory if you grow up in a village close to the mountains.” He chuckles. “We can certainly do that.”

“You know what else would be great?”

“Tell me.”

“Well, just the two of us in a cottage by a lake or the ocean. Nothing touristy, but a place where we could relax, just come down from the whole buzzing city, and have plenty of sex.”

Aden looks thoughtful. “You mentioned that a while ago. Actually, that sounds exactly like something I need occasionally. I have always loved the calm of the water. It inspires me.”

I don’t say anything, not sure if this is something I am allowed to comment on or not. I know that Aden is barely drawing anymore. I saw some of his work when I was stalking his social media accounts, right before we started dating, and I wanted to check on what I was getting into. I don’t know much about art, but I can tell that he is very good. I wonder why he stopped.