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Oh, damn it! Why couldn’t he just say it?

I am not any better, though. I just nod and smile like a dumbass and find my way out of his room, down the corridor and to the vast bathroom. It’s… amazing! Beautiful tiles, simple decoration, tasteful furniture. There are tiles in a colorful mosaic on one wall of the bathroom, and the bathtub looks old-fashioned, like from an old movie. He also has a walk-in shower. Everything in this house seems to be intriguing, a mix between a modern style and a very individual one. I tend to forget thatAden is an artist too, but it’s very obvious now that I see how he lives.

I wonder if he has an atelier.

He for sure does.

But will he show it to me?

I step into the shower, letting warm water dribble down on me. An atelier is very private. I know that from Ster. He is very particular about who he invites in and who he shows his drafts and private paintings to.

Will Aden let me in?

I don’t know how long I spend in the shower, but when I finally step out of it again, my skin is warm, the stickiness washed away, and the soreness smoothed away. I feel a bit sad with the latter gone. There was something about feeling sore after Aden had fucked me that made me feel like I belong, like this is real.

And now it just feels like it was all in my head.

For a moment, I consider putting on my clothes from yesterday, but I am too grossed out to do that, so I grab a set of the spare clothes Aden mentioned. It must be his, because they are too large for me, especially around the arms and legs. Yet, it somehow feels comforting to wear them.

Comforting… and terrifying.

I slap my face a few times to wake myself up from whatever shitshow of an anxiety attack I am in. I just had an awesome evening with Aden, which ended in the best sex I’ve ever had. And I don’t even know his body and preferences properly yet. How mind-blowing will it be once we have discovered each other’s sensitive spots?

That is, if Aden even wants me for more than one night.

My head is going down the path of doom, as Matteo calls it. I thought he was exaggerating, but now I think he has a point. I feel I will have to knock myself out to stop fromthinking.

I don’t know how long I have been in the bathroom, but something tells me, if I stay any longer, Aden might come looking for me, and I really don’t want to inconvenience him. Well, here goes nothing. The bathroom door opens and closes silently while I pat down the corridor back to the bedroom. It’s still dark outside, but not pitch-black. Is dawn approaching?

I am about to open the bedroom door when I can hear Aden’s voice inside, surprisingly loud and surprisingly angry.

“Kayden, why did you call so late if it’s not an emergency?! It’s far past midnight!”

For a while, it’s silent.

“I am not avoiding you. Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t believe you are calling me so late. I thought it would be something with Mom!”

It might be something with Mom. Mom needs you. Do better for Mom.

Don’t be so useless!

I shake my head to will the thoughts away. The last thing I need now is to slip into an actual panic attack. Fuck, why did my mother have to reach out to me again? She fucked with my brain, like she always does when she finds my whereabouts and tries to drag me down with her.

“Kayden, I truly don’t want to talk about it now. You are drunk, I am not arguing with you.”

Drunk…

Again, I shake my head, deciding I need to stop lingering in front of the door and step inside. My chest clenches, and I don’t understand why. I don’t know what’s fucking me over so much now. It doesn’t make sense!

“I am going to hang up on you now.” He says, when I step inside. Aden is leaning against the window, his phone in his hand. “Oliver, is it you now? What is going on?”

To my surprise, Aden’s expression is upset. I thought he would be angry, but he actually looks hurt.

“I know, I figured he had one drink too many. Please leave me alone for now.”

Aden hangs up and puts his phone aside. He rests his hands on the windowsill, his face turned away from me, while he takes a couple of deep breaths.

“Aden,” I whisper. “Is everything alright?”