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Anything deeper.
But there was her.
And she made the life he’d built for himself feel inadequate. He had been certain that he’d built up a kingdom, he had accomplished great things. He had made all he did well so big that his inadequacies would seem like nothing, and yet.
There was her.
She made him feel like he had to find a different way to be. A different way to feel, to breathe. She made him feel like he needed to be new, so that he could have her.
Her.
He had her now. She was his wife.
Dammit all, she was his wife. Not his assistant. She couldn’t simply quit. She was having his baby.
And he needed her.
And so he kissed her. Lifted her up and set her down on the edge of his desk.
And then, in a wild fury, he stepped away from her, went to his door and locked it securely. Her eyes widened.
“I need you,” he said.
“Okay,” she said.
He wanted her to say that she needed him too, but hadn’t she already said the most?
Hadn’t she already said that she loved him?
“Tell me,” he said. “Tell me that you need me too.” It wasn’t fair. He needed it all the same.
“Of course I need you,” she said.
He was... He could see through her eyes. How little he made sense. Asking her if she wished that she could leave, and then locking the door, putting her up on the edge of the desk. Demanding that she tell him how much she needed him. Of course. He made no sense at all.
Not even to himself.
But he couldn’t stop himself now.
So he claimed her mouth again, and again. Stood between her thighs and pushed her skirt further and further up her legs. He pressed his hand to her slick flesh, teased her until she was gasping with pleasure. Until she cried out for more. More of his touch, more of him.
And he gave it to her.
He undid his belt, the closure on his pants, and claimed her in one decisive thrust.
He hadn’t believed her the first time she had told him that he had forgotten a condom.
Such foolishness now. He couldn’t even imagine the man that he had been then. The one who had been so convinced he could never lose control.
A loss of control was life with Polly.
It was just life.
And so he took her. Over and over again. Letting himself feel everything.
The tight, hot clasp of her body. Her hot breath in his ear as her pleasure grew. As she began to whimper with need.
Yes. He needed her.