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He would never use his power against her.
Not the power of his mind, not his heart, not his body. He was exacting, and he was demanding, but there was always him right at the center of it.
And he was a very good man. That was what it came down to. Everything else they could learn to navigate. But he was good.
She had never known what it was like to love somebody who was good.
That realization broke her open, and when her orgasm struck her like a wave, it broke something inside of her. Then she began to weep. She clung to his shoulders, as she cried out his name.
Because she was all in on this. All in on him.
It was everything. So was he.
They were everything.
She clung to him. And then she whispered in his ear. “I love you.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HE PULLED AWAY from her, his dark gaze fierce. “I don’t know that I can say that to you.”
She wanted to weep. Not because she was heartbroken. Because he was everything she had believed him to be. “You don’t need to. A dishonest man would say it to keep me happy. To keep me doing what he wanted. But you’re not a dishonest man. That’s why I know that I can love you. It’s why... It’s why it doesn’t scare me. Well, that’s a lie. And I want to be honest. It scares me, Luca. But I have been falling in love with you by inches all these years. When I left as your assistant, it wasn’t because I found it difficult to keep up with your demands, even though I said that it was. Even though I wanted to believe that it was.
“I wanted to be singular to you. Not just an employee. And the fact that I might never be broke my heart in a deep and difficult way.
“I didn’t want to admit it. So I made up stories. Because I’m very good at that. Because what I learned from my parents was how to twist reality when it didn’t suit me. And even though it was used against me, I figured out a way to take that and make feelings and truths for myself that made me more comfortable. I want to be more like you. I want to see things as black and white. I want to see the heart of the matter. I feel like you do. I feel like the way that you deal with me and all the people around you is so... It’s honest.”
“You say that like it is a good thing. To have nothing nuanced to say about a situation, but I don’t know that that’s the case. I also have nowhere to hide. And sometimes I wish...”
“You have managed to hide though, haven’t you? Because people don’t get close.”
“It is the only way for me to hide myself. Because as you can see, when you get close enough, you can see everything. Thank you for the car. I feel grateful for it. And deeply uncomfortable to have that part of myself so exposed.”
“Why?”
“Because it is a vulnerability. And when people can hit you at your most vulnerable then...”
“I won’t use it against you. I promise. I know that I did.”
“It’s all right. Because that moment was possibly the closest I came to trying to manipulate you. It might’ve been a clumsy manipulation, as you pointed out. I did not pretend to be doing something I wasn’t. But I did use fear against you.”
“And we both regret it. We can move on from it.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you terribly uncomfortable?”
“I’m not uncomfortable. But I find that I... I find this challenging.”
“Why?”
“I can’t put into words.”
“And perhaps I find that most difficult of all. I am used to knowing everything. Everything in my sphere. I have built a life for myself that doesn’t challenge these deficiencies in me. And here you are. Forcing me to work on every single thing I decided I didn’t have to work on. I don’t find it especially fun.”
“Maybe it’s not supposed to be fun. Changing. But sometimes it’s necessary.”
“Yes.”